Dp restricting the heating - red flag

[whatamidoingheree]

Just that. He has been complaining i put it up too high and joked he would put a restriction on it. I laughed and said try it. But he did.

I have since made him take it off.

Is that not a major red flag though?!

Yet again we have a magically disappearing OP.
Hope she's ok.

DH and I fight over the heating all the time. He turns it on, I turn it off. The heat he puts it on at is roasting and makes me feel ill. We can afford heating so I have given him oil filled radiators to put in his office, bought him electric hot water bottles etc. There are plenty of blankets.

we do have heating on in the house but not at a level that is too hot even when wearing a t shirt. Cannot bear being stuffy.

i couldn’t actually live with someone who insisted on a roasting house - it makes me feel so unwell.

I had the opposite problem with an ex. We once had an argument when I wanted tot urn the heating down. He said, "I'm not going to be cold in my own house"

I pointed out he was sitting in shorts and T shirt.

Of course I did not 🙄

Moving on? I wish you would

Dh and I also row over this a lot. He will happily let the temp get down to 13-14 degrees which I think is insanely cold. I prefer it around 21-22 but we've compromised on 18.

I hate having to debate about it. I feel like I should be able to feel warm in my own home when I'm paying half the bills. If he put an actual restriction on the system that meant I couldn't access it when needed I would flip my shit. It's totally controlling. Think these men sometimes need to remember they are partners not parents and we don't need to ask permission to be warm.

And equally, he doesn't need your permission to turn the heating down to what he feels is a comfortable level in his own home. Like him, I can't bear to live in a hot house. I feel suffocated and queasy. If I lived with someone who kept cranking the heat up when they knew I couldn't tolerate it, I'd flip my shit too.

@Calliecarpa it's nothing to do with his temperature preferences and everything to do with him being a tight git who sees is as unnecessary cost. He might not feel the cold in the same way I do but he's not queasy or melting when the house is 21 degrees. How dramatic.

We have tried to be adult about it and reached a compromise. The op Dh hasn't compromised at all, he's just taken away her access to the heating system which is utterly controlling.

And she made him take the restriction off. Not discussed it with him and tried to reach a compromise where they're both happy, made him. You seem to have missed that part, and I have no idea where you're getting that he's 'taken away her access to the heating system'. Guess I'm not the only one here being overly dramatic!

If anyone is utterly controlling in that household, it's the OP, not her DH.

Of course you did.
For the love of god move on.

@Calliecarpa quite right too, he shouldn't have put it on in the first place. He was the one who imposed an actual restriction preventing her from being comfortable in her own home. So how does that make her the controlling one 😆

If you are like my mum I wouldn't blame him - she has the thermostat at 28+. If you are like us and 20 is plenty warm enough I'd be annoyed.

I'm glad you've admitted you were completely wrong with your claim that the OP's DH has 'taken away her access to the heating system'! Great job.

@Calliecarpa I'm not sure what you're struggling with here.

He did remove it when he put the restriction on. That's how restrictions work. They restrict access. Yes she got him to turn it off but he did put it on in the first place. Hence restricting/controlling.

I explained myself but clearly you lack the ability to comprehend.

I told you to move on first 😂

Boiling? The UK was below freezing last night and today there’s frost on all the cars. I think ‘boiling’ is a bit of an exaggeration

Funnily enough the weather has changed significantly in the interim period of days - it dropped by 7 degrees here just yesterday morning between 0800 and 1200. You have no idea where that poster was at the time they wrote that...

It's 1 degree outside here today (as of 10am) still no heating on and don't need it. Husband away for the day so no one will turn it on! Result.
OP clearly not coming back.

No not really. Disagreements about whether the heating should be on or off, how high, are quite common aren’t they? Or it could be about money?

heard a report on Today or WatO fairly recently that a large study had found that people who sleep in cooler rooms appear less likely to develop dementia. They said 14 was ideal at night (for healthy adults).