Dp restricting the heating - red flag

[whatamidoingheree]

Just that. He has been complaining i put it up too high and joked he would put a restriction on it. I laughed and said try it. But he did.

I have since made him take it off.

Is that not a major red flag though?!

Not everyone can afford to pay the high bills that come with having the heating on in May, etc.

If you find this controlling, you can get a job and help pay these bills.

This me and DH have a battle of wills with ours, I would rather pay the slightly higher bill to not dress like I'm going skiing DH out of principle would rather wrap up warm and save the money. We both constantly change the set point no control just a couple being a couple

No, then it would not apply but I'm assuming OP is a reasonable person. But I'm not counting on that which is why I said she should keep an eye out for other controlling behaviour and not just LTB.

'It's like Blackpool illuminations in 'ere!'

As others have said, it depends entirely on what temperature you're insisting on having it on. Our house is kept warmer than most, but whenever I go round to see my grandparents it's just ridiculous. They're happy but honestly, it's far too hot for me! I absolutely could not live like that. I wear a t shirt when I'm going round there and I'm still too hot. If you're making your DP live like that, then it's obviously not fair. You can layer up, but he can't take any more off than he presumably has.

Get a heated blanket and snuggle up with that.

Obviously if he's making you keep the house genuinely cold then yes that is a problem.

it can also depend hugely where you are in the house.

the other adult in my house sits with a dog, next to a radiator, they like it cooler.

I sit on my own next to a door into the corridor, its fucking draughty as hell, and i have a disability that dislikes the cold. they prefer the room at 18.

i prefer the room at about 21 with the door closed,

There have been times i've literally been sat with 3 layers, a hooded blanket and another over my knees trying to keep warm while they're nice and toasty with dog/radiator with the room at 18... and in the end i told them they could open a sodding window next to them but i was not going to suffer because they cuddled a radiator and a dog, and turned it up.

On what planet is it boiling? We have had a windchill of 1 to 3 degrees C for the past few (foggy) days! Even now it's only 5 C, with the sun out! What a thoroughly bonkers comment! 😂

Unless you are posting from the Southern Hemisphere, you are talking utter rot.

.

is this like the MN chicken, only now its competitive 'It's not cold' time?

The next person will be talking about sitting outside in their bikini sipping sangria and sunbathing in -3.

Is it not perfectly obvious that 'boiling' was being used as comic exaggeration to indicate that it's been warmer than it usually is at this time of year for the last few days, not that the poster was claiming that it's currently 37C somewhere in the UK? For pity's sake.

Who pays for the heating and have you discussed how much you can afford? I think it's reasonable to not have the heating on all the time or to have it too high but ideally the two of you would discuss and agree. At the moment it seems like you are both set on battling out who gets their own way. How do you settle other conflicts in the relationship?

Must be me then... still no heat, definitely northern hemisphere, it's still and very foggy outside.

Depends. If you’re turning it up to 20+ and swanning round the house in a T-shirt then it’s you who’s being unreasonable. If he won’t allow the heating on enough to get the house to a temperature where you’re not freezing cold even with warm clothes on, then he’s unreasonable.

Definitely a red flag. Mean.

It went really cold when it was foggy but it was warm here yesterday and today, I’d say over 10 outside in the UK is really warm in December and if you’re active hoovering or walking it can feel hot, we had to take some layers off in the evening yesterday but we do have an electric blanket that we have on for watching the telly.

16c is too low and can affect your health. Don't forget that you can layer up as much as you want but you're still breathing in cool air. 18 should be the absolute minimum.

I'm pretty sure it was not 10 C anywhere in the UK yesterday, but even so. 10 C is NOT that warm. And it's certainly not 'boiling.' 🙄

And you say you are 'taking layers off' in the evening, but have an electric blanket on for watching the telly?!

Your posts barely make sense.

How did he put a restriction on it?

no - not red flag
we have tiffs about the heating all the time
i thought most couples did
but you can compromise on timings and levels etc

Not the UK, but it's been between 10 and 13 degrees in my part of Ireland for the last week and more. It's extremely mild. No hear just a dressing gown today so far!

I'd have to know what you both consider to be reasonable, have you compromised on something in the middle, not really enough info to say

I’m in a constant battle with DH, & DC when they are at home as they would rather turn up the heat than wear an extra jumper.
i keep the house at 19 because I really care about our carbon emissions.
so no, not a red flag.

On the bizarre parallel universe world of planet MN.

This post could equally well be the other way round. My DP turns the heating up too high and refuses to turn it down. Is that a red flag?

Not enough information

if you are making me sweat inside my house, we are going to have a problem.

DH and I have negotiated the temperature. Neither of us is truly happy. Whenever he goes out of town, I drop it considerably.

I don't like the sound of a 'restriction' that he put on and then had to be persuaded to take off again. I wouldn't be having that. Reminds me of a colleague who would 'joke' about controlling the central heating from his mobile when his partner and baby were at home and he was in the office. Creepy, ugly, disrespectful twat, I have made sure to have nothing to do with him since.