Page 7 | Dp restricting the heating - red flag

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2024 14:06

BobbyBiscuits · 29/12/2024 11:30

If he's paying the bill, or half of it, and it's either his house or your joint house, then it's fair enough to say it's too hot. It's very expensive and some people feel the cold less. Get a little space heater and use it in the room you're in alone if you get really cold. But right now jumpers, scarves and hats are a more economical way forward. That's not to say the heating shouldn't be on at all.

I would NOT be wearing a hat indoors unless heating was completely unaffordable.

Bloody miserable way to live

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2024 14:07

MerrilyOnhigh · 30/12/2024 09:17

Not a red flag unless he wants the heating kept unreasonably low. In general I think it's wrong from an environmental viewpoint to leave its use unrestricted: it should never be too high, and should not be on in rooms that don't need it.

It should be on a little bit otherwise the room you are heating is also heating the unheated ones.

And I will never understand leaving it on at night

nonbinaryfinery · 30/12/2024 14:10

No, it isn't a red flag. Every little disagreement is not a red flag.

BobbyBiscuits · 30/12/2024 14:15

@Nanny0gg yeah, the hat is hopefully for dire straights only. I did used to need to wear one when I had really bad health problems affecting my temperature.
But a gilet and a jumper is reasonable. And I did suggest a space heater as well. I don't want anyone to freeze! 🤣

FuckItItsFine · 30/12/2024 14:18

Not enough info.

Whose house/flat is it? Who pays the bills? How high was it? Etc etc.

BlueFlowers5 · 30/12/2024 18:12

I like the house warm, but my warm is around 18-19⁰. I am wearing thermals etc.
I only switch it on for 2 hours in the morning, 3 hours in the late afternoon eg 5pm to 8pm It's over night.

CatherineDurrant · 30/12/2024 18:13

Not a red flag for me. He removed the restriction when you asked but I wouldn't be impressed if restricted it again.

If he's actually just too hot, you might try some extra personal measures to feel more comfortable. A heated gilet has been a godsend for me this winter.

ueberlin2030 · 30/12/2024 18:26

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 30/12/2024 14:03

You're passive aggressive to me, you get it right back attacha.

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You laughed at me pointing out people were struggling. That's not the gotcha you seem to think it is.

YMZ · 30/12/2024 18:39

My husband did that. It was a marriage of control over little things that grew. In the end we lived together separately until he passed.
For me, I see a red flag, only you will know if it’s an isolated incident.
good luck.

Smallsalt · 30/12/2024 18:41

I pay the heating bills in our house.
Dam right I restrict it .....
I am also a light switch Nazi.

iamnotalemon · 30/12/2024 18:51

Is everything a red flag nowadays?

restingbitchface30 · 30/12/2024 19:43

Reading these comments make me think I have a problem. My heating has to be on 23 or I’m freezing. I can’t let it go beneath that.

Illinoise · 30/12/2024 19:45

My DH moans if I put it over 17, I thought that was normal. When I say I’m cold he says ‘no you’re not’ even though my hands are going numb sat at my desk!

Lollipop81 · 30/12/2024 20:28

tellmesomethingtrue · 29/12/2024 10:33

What temperature are you putting the thermostats onto? Should be wearing slippers, jumpers and keeping yourself warm. No need for heating to be more than 19 as it's not that cold outside.

Surely the temperature outside is irrelevant. 19 in the house is the 19 whether it’s 10 degrees outside or minus 10 outside

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 30/12/2024 20:29

ueberlin2030 · 30/12/2024 18:26

You laughed at me pointing out people were struggling. That's not the gotcha you seem to think it is.

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No I didn't. You reacted privately via MN and laughed at me pointing out to you that you had misunderstood me. I then laughed back at you as you didn't have the guts to post openly your point and did it passively aggressively so other could not see.

ueberlin2030 · 31/12/2024 07:01

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 30/12/2024 20:29

No I didn't. You reacted privately via MN and laughed at me pointing out to you that you had misunderstood me. I then laughed back at you as you didn't have the guts to post openly your point and did it passively aggressively so other could not see.

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I don't even know what you mean by 'reacted privately via MN'.
My point stands, you're laughing at folk struggling due to COL and seem to think it's some gotcha when it's not.

ohime · 31/12/2024 09:05

As long as he removed the restriction when you asked, without fighting about it, I wouldn't be overly concerned (depending on what the rest of your relationship is like, of course). In that case he simply made a judgment error. It's probably a good idea to have a talk about it though, to avoid similar instances in future.

Packetofcrispsplease · 31/12/2024 10:19

He might just hate being hot 🥵 as do I.
It feels stressful and very uncomfortable / itchy .
I can be fine in other people’s homes when they are heated to about 19/20c .
any warmer than that I’d have to make my excuses and leave .
our house is kept cooler than that but we don’t let it drop below 17c , we wear jumpers / sweatshirts and slippers .
we don’t layer up with blankets and oodies .
however in mid summer I’m more than happy for the inside of our house to be 22c and a nice breeze coming through open windows and doors

Snakebite61 · 31/12/2024 10:31

whatamidoingheree · 29/12/2024 10:30

Just that. He has been complaining i put it up too high and joked he would put a restriction on it. I laughed and said try it. But he did.

I have since made him take it off.

Is that not a major red flag though?!

No. Posting this is though.

GoldsolesLugs · 31/12/2024 10:40

ShortyShorts · 29/12/2024 10:33

There's been times I've switched it off at the boiler, hoping for a placebo affect for him 🤣

There's always such a gender double standard on this sort of manipulative shit.

StmMary · 31/12/2024 11:09

whatamidoingheree · 29/12/2024 10:30

Just that. He has been complaining i put it up too high and joked he would put a restriction on it. I laughed and said try it. But he did.

I have since made him take it off.

Is that not a major red flag though?!

I think most men don't like the central heating on high.
I keep ours on 20 deg....
Turn low on the dial on the radiatorns in the rooms we idley use.
That way it'll help him to stop moaning haha. I don't think it's red flag..
Unless there's other things you are thinking about he's said and done before.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 31/12/2024 11:57

OP is frozen and can't reply.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 01/01/2025 04:40

ueberlin2030 · 31/12/2024 07:01

I don't even know what you mean by 'reacted privately via MN'.
My point stands, you're laughing at folk struggling due to COL and seem to think it's some gotcha when it's not.

Edited

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Of course you know. You posted a laughing reaction to my post which can only be seen privately. Very passive aggressive. So I posted the same back.

I do not laugh at COL issues. Been there, done that and they have my sympathy as it is incredibly tough.

ueberlin2030 · 01/01/2025 07:15

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 01/01/2025 04:40

Of course you know. You posted a laughing reaction to my post which can only be seen privately. Very passive aggressive. So I posted the same back.

I do not laugh at COL issues. Been there, done that and they have my sympathy as it is incredibly tough.

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How many times?
You laughed at a COL post.
There's no backtracking.
Anyway, moving on.

FuckeryOmbudsman · 01/01/2025 07:25

I was wondering what OP thought of all the replies