To ask why women would be uncomfortable with unisex bathrooms

[Chumssss]

Discussion with my DH tonight about this. Am I right in thinking that unisex bathrooms are not great?

Years ago when I was a teenager me and my mates saved a girl's life, she had slit her wrists in a public toilet and we saw her on the floor thanks to the toilet gap.

Poor girl and well done. That must have been traumatic for you all.

I remember many a good chat in the ladies on a night out back in the day.

There’s a couple of bars I’ve stopped going to because of the mixed sex toilets

In a few occasions I’ve been on my own in there and a man walked in and it’s made he feel uncomfortable. I’ve had a man come over and use the same sink as me to wash his hands despite there being a dozen others.

Not to mention the piss on the floor and the seat.

Recently someone knocked a drink down my top. If it was the ladies I’d have taken it off and stood on my bra drying it and had a laugh with other ladies about it but I can’t do that in a mixed sex toilet. It’s not just about somewhere to pee, ladies loos have been a social place for years.

Tbh my male mates aren’t fans either so it’s not just women who don’t want them

In my 56 years of experience, men’s toilets are grim. No matter what age, or country, or circumstance. Way grimmer than women’s. I avoid unisex at all costs, because they are used by men.

Worked at a company where the toilets, single cubicles, were unisex. Issue was the state they were left in!!

Many women have a problem with them because of increased risk.
Many women and children have had issues with males in unisex toilets.
You not having an issue doesnt mean other people havent. Youve been lucky.

so instead of saying you dont have a problem with accepting the increased risk and disgustingness of men’s toilets, can you tell me what the benefits of unisex toilets are for women? Because surely there must be benefits to women or else why change them?

I would rather pee myself or go home than use one

Went to the theatre yesterday. Upstairs toilets were 1 door for mens with no queue, 1 accessible cubicle with no queue, 1 door for all genders with a 7 person queue. 2 men left cubicles in this toilet while I was waiting. 1 of the cubicles was unusable because the toilet was blocked with paper towels. Downstairs toilets were 1 side for mens with no queue and 1 side for women's with a 20 person queue. Just glad they hadn't made that one all gender too as it would have been far worse.

My experience of all gender toilets is they are often less clean than women's toilets. If I was ill I would prefer to be in a women's toilets as I would feel better able to ask for help if needed and less embarrassed about any bodily function related symptoms. If it were in a dodgy area I would feel safer in an enclosed out of sight space sharing that with just women.

True.
i go to the ladies go cry if I get upset outside of my home. A natural place to be alone … and ok to be crying.

Same.
Went into a Wagamama with teen dd. Thankfully we went to the loo together, loo was away from the main restaurant and creepy. A room with Cubicles off a narrow corridor, the first two labelled for men, which meant that a man could wait in cubicle A and pull in a woman or girl as she walked past. When we came out a man was going in, it was horrible and felt really unsafe.

Bathrooms?
Its always Bathrooms isn't it?

Mens always stink of piss.

Indeed, the euphemisms 'bathrooms' and 'restrooms' have definitely been imported from the US for the purpose of obfuscation IMO.

But god forbid that one stands accused of importing the wrong american thought process, eg agreeing with Riley Gaines, lest one is ranted at for being <checks notes> a right-wing, evangelical, gun-toting Trump supporter, which is a tad unfair I feel on the population of Dunny-on-the-Wold.

Indeed
I think another useful question would be why do people (mostly men) want unisex toilets?
I know DH and DS don't. Poor DS and his mates were horrified at the thought of going to the same toilets as me at a recent sporting event, they "guarded" the door until I came out and then went themselves.

You're not reading the right threads. Plenty of men are animals at home as well as at the office or out and about.

On top of that there are people who will resist their animal urges in their own homes where they will be identified, but will happily be disgusting when nobody will know it was them.

I don't think most men do either. And men who identify as women certainly don't, they want woman's toilets to exist so they can use them!

So I think it's coming from three groups:

1. People who identify as progressive (PWIAP) who have got it into their heads that noticing sex exists is sexist and if we all pretend not to notice sexism stops happening. And to be fair to them, in theory yes it would, but it requires the big scary sexists also stop noticing sex exists. But that's really hard so the PWIAPs decided to start by intimidating women, charities, politicicans and companies into pretending they don't notice sex exists which is much easier, and hope the big scary sexists catch up of their own accord. Which does fuck-all to help with the actual sexism obviously, but since only women who haven't signed up to ignore sex are in a position to say so, and since those women are obviously the wrong non-progressive sort of woman, it's ok to ignore them and feel super good about punching one in the eye to patriachy by getting rid of the sexist segregation of toilets. This is why so many art venues, trendy bars, venues etc went unisex.
2. Organisations who need to offer toilets to their staff/users/customers and do not want to touch the trans toilets debate with a bargepole so think they can swerve the whole thing by not having women's and men's toilets in the first place.
3. People who are very invested in trans rights who have noticed that the same people who object to trans women in women's spaces also object to unisex toilets (for the obvious reason that what they actually object to is males in spaces where female people are exposed or vulnerable or fetishised, regardless of how those male people may identify) and taking the view that "if the TERFs are against it I should be for it", come all out in favour. (I recognise a few names on this thread who fit that pattern.) The really ironic thing of course is that there's no particular reason supporting trans rights would go hand in hand with unisex toilets, but that's tribalism for you.

We have unisex toilets in the office. Men come in talking on their phones, go to the loo, don't flush, don't wash their hands. They leave the floors in disgusting states. I hate using the toilets because of the state they are in (I know women's can be awful too but, on all previous workplace experience, they were nothing compared to how these ones are)

Went to one today. It really was an uncomfortable experience!

I don't mind them at all. My only irk is that men tend to leave the toilet seat up.

The only ones I've had a bit of an issue with is at Home in Manchester. Daughter asked to go to loo sent her off she was 13 at the time, she comes back and I nip. They have clearly just put unisex stickers on the previous toilets so you had to walk past the urinals to get to the cubicle at the back. Thankfully there were no fellas in at the time as she was wouldn't have known where to look if they had been having a wee attack he urinal

If this is the case why does the sexual assault level drop when women are offered female-only facilities?
https://qz.com/692711/the-radically-simple-way-to-make-female-refugees-safer-from-sexual-assault-decent-bathrooms

why do stats tell us there’s a similar pattern in the uk? https://fairplayforwomen.com/unisex-changing-rooms-put-women-in-danger/ ?

On the basis of comfort - mens' toilets are often messy and smelly.

On the more important safety aspect - some toilets in bars or restaurants are often quite isolated. Sometimes at the end of a corridor or on a completely different floor to the main public area. I would feel very uncomfortable if I was in a quiet, isolated toilet and an unknown man walked in. It would be very easy for any man with awful intentions to get to a lone female.

And then mens are rank ALL the time. I was a cleaner for 20 years, I know exactly how disgusting the mens are and the smell is revolting. Yes occasionally the womens was rank, but in all the years I did I can count and remember the womens being nasty(usually for a reason) the mens is just a merge of disgusting on top of disgusting. I do not want to share.

My opinion is as valid as those who dont care. But I should get my way. It's been the default since 100 years ago when women got toilets and if those who dont care, "really" dont care, they are welcome to start using the mens from this day on.

However, there's a distinct lack of threads on MN from women who say their men are equally this vile at home? Are these men perfectly sanitary at home, but displaying disgusting standards in the workplace?
we know generally men have poor hygiene as when told to wash their hands during covid, there were suddenly queues at the men‘s toilets.

and many men in the home annoy their wives by missing the toilet bowl. And that is one man. Imagine a constant stream of that in public toilets.

all these women on offices with disgusting men need to constantly report to HR.

So there only wasnt a problem because there wasn't men in using them???