Ick of Christmas present from Dp

[DivaORJustified]

Usually Dp give each other a wish list of specific items or vague items like earrings so the other can choose.
Was really happy with the earrings he brought be, they were under stated but very elegant, exactly what I would chose. On Boxing Day when we had his dc under 10, one of his daughters presents was exact same pair of earrings in gold instead of rose gold. Am I right to feel upset about it as it doesn’t feel like a romantic or thoughtful gift anymore. Happy for opinions no matter how harsh. Thank you

I sometimes wonder how what I read is SO different from some posters.

That isnt at all what OP at all - she is saying she wanted some unique, whatever the cost

Totally agree and a lovely step daughter/step mother bonding gift.

It isn’t Valentines Day. You are being unreasonable.

You made him a list (yuck to that!) and he bought you the items on your list (no romanticism there as it was expected and prescribed) and now because he bought his daughter the earrings in a different colour it wasn’t perfect for you.

This guy can’t win.

With respect, you're not the standard bearer of romantic ideals. Indeed there is no standard. People show love in many different ways.

OP sounds a tad ungrateful

I've read this post before?

Copper is added to turn yellow gold into rose gold. 😊

He bought you something you like. Presumably he liked them too so chose a different version for his dd. That's quite sweet in a way. Christmas is stressful enough without having to look high and low for something different just for the sake of it. I think most men would be happy they got something you wanted and not agonise over whether it spoke to you in a particular way. Is it your usual style / colour? That's about as far as one can go in choosing a piece of jewellery for someone else.

He bought you something you really liked, understated and elegant. He also bought you other things you wanted. And the event and the dress you wanted for birthday. He's listened and thought.

See how many women here have had naff all from their supposedly loving husband's /boyfriends.

You sound rather hard work.

No it really doesn’t. How could there have been excitement and shine when you told him what to buy you?

Your perspective and expectations aren’t realistic and your need to feel this way over him doing something nice for his daughter isn’t right.

He didn't. He got his DD the same as OP. He put some thought into choosing earrings for OP that she would love (she did) and then made the lazy decision to buy the same for his DD.

Totally right. If it was Valentine’s Day or Mothers Day it might be different. It was Christmas.

In that case I don't see what your problem is.

And "ick"? Really?

Not the same earrings, but matching. I actually think it is a lovely idea. OP, I think you are being very unreasonable. You sound hard to please, especially as he got you flowers and other things from your list. Try reading some other threads on this topic to read what a really thoughtless gift looks like, and then give your head a good wobble.

Maybe his daughter chose them and as she was saying how pretty and beautiful she thought they were (for her step mum) that the husband decided his own daughter deserved a pair too.
But this is Mumsnet where stepchildren are annoying things that step mothers must dislike (sarcastic).

" ... I feel a little sad that he didn’t put more effort into her gift." Exactly THIS. If this poor man slighted anyone, it was his DD, not OP.

You said you're really happy with the earrings.
He's found beautiful earrings... why can't he gift you and also his daughter different colours?
You're being ridiculous.

I think it's kinda cute that he bought almost matching earrings for you and your stepdaughter.

Unless they were commissioned for you especially other folk will have them
Probably don't dirt if offer for a multi buy
I'm sure no one is looking at your ears and thinking.... Those earrings are the same as her partners daughter.

Is your life so charmed that this is the only thing you have to whinge about @DivaORJustified ?

And he bOught the gifts.

Wow, yes, that is insulting. 😪I hope your post has brought some much-needed perspective to OP's query.

I am feeling a bit sad for the daughter. What eight year old wants to be wearing “understated but very elegant” earrings? For most eight year olds the closest to posh earrings they would know are something from Pandora and given the choice they would probably choose earrings from Claires Accessories.

I wouldn’t worry too much OP, I don’t think the SD will be wearing them often. Not until she is an adult and in need of something elegant and understated.

It isnt up to a man to decide if his wife and daughter have a "bonding gift"

Maybe he bought yours first, and she liked them, so he got her some as well. Maybe he thought it would be nice if you “matched”. Maybe he thought it would bring you closer together. Maybe has WAS being thoughtless. Maybe lots of things.
But no one on HERE knows what he was thinking, so talk to HIM about it, and how you feel.

So much of this depends on family dynamics. When my eldest son was this age he adored his dad and step dad in equal measure and often liked to mirror things they wore. One Christmas my DH and my DS both got similar hats. For them this was a lovely connection, they liked to go out together wearing them.

I don’t know your dynamics, but could it be that for your step daughter this is a lovely and inclusive gesture?
She might really like to wear the same earrings as you because she likes you. Maybe her Dad understands this.
Just another perspective rather than the simple narrative that he’s lazy and thoughtless

I think it's really odd.

"Oh there's a pair of earrings that my OH would like. Great for my 9yr old daughter too!"

No I said it was one. How dare he do something nice though and maybe see it that way. What a monster.

It also isn’t up to a woman to decide if her husband buy her something with “excitement “ and “shine” then tell him what to buy and be disappointed that he got his daughter something similar (based on the statement above) but there we go.