Ick of Christmas present from Dp

[DivaORJustified]

Usually Dp give each other a wish list of specific items or vague items like earrings so the other can choose.
Was really happy with the earrings he brought be, they were under stated but very elegant, exactly what I would chose. On Boxing Day when we had his dc under 10, one of his daughters presents was exact same pair of earrings in gold instead of rose gold. Am I right to feel upset about it as it doesn’t feel like a romantic or thoughtful gift anymore. Happy for opinions no matter how harsh. Thank you

I think that you’re going to make both of you miserable if you spend the relationship getting hung up on stuff like this. He bought the two most important women in his life a piece of jewellery in the material of their personal taste: that’s thoughtful. He has a daughter and she’s just as

I doubt there’s a man out there getting upset because his partner bought both him and a male relative aftershave but different ones, or both sweaters but different ones, or different types of whisky etc.

I agree. I think it's lazy to buy you both the same thing, it's not hard to choose two different pairs. and I'd feel wierd wearing the same earrings as a child. Kids don't typically wear nice expensive earrings so I'd feel like I was wearing kids jewellery.

Man goes into a jewellers and tells the assistant he's looking for a gift for his wife. She shows him necklaces and bracelets and then some earrings and mentions that they are a popular item.

Bloke thinks he's onto a winner and says he'll have a pair. He chooses the rose gold colour and then says, I'll take a pair in gold for my daughter.

Job done.

Wife and daughter will both be happy at receiving a lovely gift.

I wouldn't have any problem with that.

I think a nice gift is a nice gift. It was his daughter, presuming you are both the most important women in his life then I would take it as a nice thing that he found a lovely gift for both of you. Personally, I don't need to feel all special and intimate with gifts, its just stuff. But then I also think jewelry is just metal and rocks from the ground and shaped into something with a brand and a huge margin slapped on it. So I guess it depends on your personal perspective on gifts, stuff and jewelry and the need to feel special by being given gifts. Maybe he has a different persepctive than you on these things. If he is a good husband otherwise then this shouldnt be an issue.

He should’ve made the effort to make an individual choice for both of you.

I really despair at the romantic standards that some people have on mumsnet that posters are not seeing the problem with this. I can’t believe some posters think it would be nice to be given the same earrings as a 9 year old lol.

Of course earrings for your wife should be a special gift, chosen specifically for her and not just a bulk buy.

If it is a matching gift on purpose then he should have given you both yours to open at the same time and explained the reason to match you both. Rather than give you yours on your own and make you feel like they were specially selected for you, and then you have to notice afterwards that it’s the same as he got his daughter.

I truly was expecting a sex toy from the OP's post, not earrings.

Earrings are very inoffensive, and so what if his daughter has the same pair?
Rose gold {I think} is just a colour added to the gold to make the warmer tone.

Yes, Men aren't renowned for their gift choices.

@DivaORJustified My husband's worst ever present to me was a broken chocolate Father Christmas {in plain} he knows I dislike novelty Christmas chocolate , {especially plain!}

Turned out it was a gift for his affair's children, but he dropped it.

That was really insulting.

This
OP, you have received a special gift and I am unsure what the problem is with his daughter getting the same?
I would perceive that as a compliment

This is exactly what I thought; pure laziness. He was probably pleased he found earrings he knew OP would love and then thought, Hey, I could get them for DD too - easy present buying! 😂Honestly OP, I wouldn't overthink this. You said the earrings are precisely your taste so just enjoy wearing them.

I do think it's weird. Out of all the millions of options, why did he get you the same as a child?

Gold doesn't come in 100% pure form, so all gold has different metal additives. Rose gold is alloyed with copper I believe (personally rose gold is my favourite).
Either way, I think OP is massively overthinking this, almost like looking for an issue in a relationship.

This. I sometimes hear men grumbling among themselves that their partners are impossible to please and I wonder just how difficult any woman could be. Then I read this and I think poor bloke, he's expected to be a mind-reader as well as to follow your detailed requirements in order not to upset you.

Mate, if you're reading this, it doesn't have to be this difficult. Go and find yourself a confident, secure woman who doesn't need gifts to feel loved and wanted and isn't in competition with your kids for attention. The latter issue is the biggie. Your kids need to come first.

For Christmas one year my ex bought me and his mother the same perfume! Kind of creepy when you think about it. And yes, one of the reasons he's now an ex was because he was a massive mummy's boy and she was the MIL from hell.

Was Cinderella upset too?

Completely agree with @Marmiteontoastgirlie , surprise of answers that say it's a non issue. I don't think it is even acceptable to do that to two friends in the same friendship group. The only time is OK if they were for mother and daughter, or two daughters, two granddaughters and presented as a matching gift.

Have you told him how you feel @DivaORJustified ?

I would have had the same reaction here OP. Maybe it feels like he's putting you in the same category in his head as his daughter, and in a blended family situation I think this can feel really difficult.

An Ex bought the same perfume for me and his Mum one year.
Dumped him

I really don’t see what the problem is - particularly as you liked the earrings and he bought you other gifts. To be honest it sounds like you are a bit of a diva and a little bit jealous of his relationship with his daughter.
That being said it doesn’t sound like an age appropriate gift for his DD, I feel a little sad that he didn’t put more effort into her gift.

You're making it even worse, OP. You're saying he shouldn't have spent as much money on his daughter as he did on you. This isn't a good look. Stop yourself now.

Or "mate" find yourself a woman who is happy to wear the same earrings as a 9 year old. Because of course, out of the literally MILLIONS of choices there are, you could only choose one.

Basically, a woman whose bar is very, very low.

The issue is with how you feel about his daughter not the gift. Can you not see you and her are very special to him? Poor man, poor daughter.

Maybe she asked for jewellery too and he didn't want one of you to prefer the other's present, so just go the same thing. Maybe she saw the present beforehand and liked them and he then decided to also buy her some. Maybe he thought they were lovely and wanted to get the same special present for two people he loves. Or maybe it was a bit lazy, but you've still both got a present that you really like. It really doesn't sound that bad OP, and I think you are being a bit precious.

@honeylulu
I wouldn't like it either. I'm trying to put my finger on why. It's sort of "oh those are nice, I needn't carry on looking/thinking, just rinse and repeat".

@TunnocksOrDeath
A gift of jewellery usually comes with the assumption that it was chosen by the giver specifically for the recipient, you wear it next to your skin, it's very personal. I would be a bit disappointed if DH bought someone else the same piece of jewellery as he bought me, it would indicate that it was chosen with the attitude of "That'll do" rather than "This is perfect for Tunnocks".

I agree the duplicate was likely to do with laziness or lack of imagination, but if true, this was directed at his daughter, not OP. He bought a pair of earrings - as OP had requested - successfully finding a pair he knew OP would love (she did). Then he thought they'd do for his daughter too. If anyone should feel offended it should be his daughter, but I bet she's as thrilled with her earrings as OP was originally.