Ick of Christmas present from Dp

[DivaORJustified]

Usually Dp give each other a wish list of specific items or vague items like earrings so the other can choose.
Was really happy with the earrings he brought be, they were under stated but very elegant, exactly what I would chose. On Boxing Day when we had his dc under 10, one of his daughters presents was exact same pair of earrings in gold instead of rose gold. Am I right to feel upset about it as it doesn’t feel like a romantic or thoughtful gift anymore. Happy for opinions no matter how harsh. Thank you

I’d also be furious if I was your DP. He chose lovely earrings for you both and also got you other things. Sounds like you’ll never be happy. I agree, give him a break

I would feel a bit miffed, it’s generic and lazy which feels thoughtless.

But I think women (including myself) attach much more meaning to gifts than men do and his POV would be different.

He told you to throw the earrings away?! What a tit…

‘Grateful for crumbs’……..

Highly dramatic. You are actively looking for problems

YABU and overthinking it. It’s just a Christmas gift (of which it sounds like you had plenty) and in the grand scheme of things - it isn’t a big deal. Don’t be a Diva.

You are being ridiculous and I think it’s sweet if him to have given his two ‘women’ tbe same gift. Yiu should use it as an opportunity to strengthen the bonds between yiu and his daughter, not give him a ribbing for it

You sound like you put yourself on a pedestal OP. Break up with him if this is such a big deal - is that what you want us to tell you?

I'd be thrilled if my DH bought our DD the same earrings - I think it shows that he values us both. When my DH brings home flowers for me he often brings a small bunch for our DD too. He is showing your DD he values her as much as her DM - it will do wonders for her self worth. As an adult you should realise this - it's not a competition between you both about who gets the best present. I just don't get you.

Precisely.

Dont be jealous of his children, OP, especially at Christmas. You could turn it round and say to DD ‘ how lovely, we can both wear them at lunch’. Make it an inclusive action, not some weird denigration.

I’ve just seen that DP told you to throw them away. That may not be the only thing he is thinking would be better off in the trash.

Being jealous of a child is a pretty ugly look. Get a grip.

Men often lack any imagination when it comes to gifts. They often find .multiples when they find something. You are lucky though. I never had a nice gift from either of my husbands. I buy my own now.

Yes this would bother me too. I'd like to think the earrings were bought be ause they were my taste, and fur him to have bought the same for a young child? Can't really imagine liking the same sort of thing.

He's a man and they are limited as to gift ideas, frequently. I gave every one of my relatives the same book this year and other than that bottles and bags (not all the same). My DiL and I exchanged the same bottle,in fact. No-one has complained and the book was eagerly awaited (it's a children's novel by me and my late DH).
Best not to be angst ridden about Christmas presents.

He’s said he put alot of thought looking for those earrings and selected rose gold as he heard me talking to a friend and said he didn’t know it existed. It’s snow balled a lot quite quickly and it’s upsetting. It’s got everything to do with the relationship between me and him and nothing to do with his daughter.
I had to explain that the relationship with his partner is completely different to his dd and Dc. That’s the only way I’ve been able to make it clear. I’m upset too .., I don’t care what people have written apart for one poster calling me “trash” when I’m the main breadwinner here. I can take the difference in opinion and I was hoping it would get my head straight with new perspectives. We are all very different I suppose and have a different take ok things .

It’s not a different take on things.

It’s causing high drama over a non issue. Creating problems that DONT exist.

Ditto

@DivaORJustified
Are you pissed because you want the rose gold? Or pissed in general?
If you're the breadwinner buy yourself what you want.
Take his pair to a pawn broker or whatever

I had to explain that the relationship with his partner is completely different to his dd and Dc

I'd be surprised if he didn't already know that, but there are so many ways those differences are marked, aside from gift giving

Your attitude is disgraceful. "Crumbs"? You're clearly annoyed because you feel 'less' than his daughter now.

@Hskatkat pissed off he couldn’t buy one special thing for me to show is appreciation for all I do for him in the year. Money isn’t the issue, it’s the laziness! I wouldn’t have given 2 hoots if he got dd the same brand but a different pair.
And yes also there is recurring theme this year that I have to explain basic things that should come natural to dp for me and the way he is in our relationship. So whether justified or not I feel shit as he’s called me ungrateful and selfish.

Agree!

He sounds like a complete and utter monster. 😂

Does someone have the number to the highest court in the land because this guy needs to be locked up?

OP I despair at your attitude and perspective. The more you explain the better he sounds and the worst you sound.

He's telling you that because you are ungrateful, misguided, selfish and acting really poorly.

Let it go now. You keep making it worse. Stop talking about it and thinking about it. This will only continue to escalate and end badly.

BECAUSE YOU ARE.

that should come natural to dp for me

This is your problem. You can't make things come naturally if they just don't. He's not you. You're not him.

I don't think the poster is jealous of the daughter. I don't think she would have minded if the daughter had more spent on her earrings. It is the thought behind the present that is being measured. I'm guessing her partner might be 10+ years older than her so the OP wants romance and why not. She has obviously compromised just being with a man that has DC already and sounds like she has been fine with that. A lot are saying she should be grateful etc but she feels what she feels. It wouldn't take much for him to put it right - a promise to go shopping after Xmas to exchange the gift, spend the afternoon together and have lunch or something. Instead, he told her to throw it away! No helpful. I think she just needs reassuring.