Ick of Christmas present from Dp

[DivaORJustified]

Usually Dp give each other a wish list of specific items or vague items like earrings so the other can choose.
Was really happy with the earrings he brought be, they were under stated but very elegant, exactly what I would chose. On Boxing Day when we had his dc under 10, one of his daughters presents was exact same pair of earrings in gold instead of rose gold. Am I right to feel upset about it as it doesn’t feel like a romantic or thoughtful gift anymore. Happy for opinions no matter how harsh. Thank you

"should accept being called "ungrateful" for not being delirious to know he bought multiples of her gift for Christmas."

Not multiples- just one each for the people most special to him.

Multiples? A pair for the OP and a pair for her daughter, presumably two people he loves the most?

He also has own house. At least this is my understanding & apologies if I got confused with another post & I am wrong. Perhaps OP will clarify. It's too long a thread to read again.

I didn't read anything that made me think she was subbing him or his child.

I mean happy to send my address if he is just giving them out to randoms 😂

Poor bloke not only got his present he THOUGHTFULLY picked (to OP's own style) slammed but he's probably going to get dumped and he's being called all sorts on here for doing what most women do - live with someone who pays the majority of bills whilst he contributes too and splitting childcare. OP has said he has his own house he could return to if (when) they split and that he does his share around the house. He is NOT a lazy sponger.

OP you don't sound like you love him. You sound like you have massive issues with what sounds like a very nice, thoughtful man. The milk frother is one of those gifts that you later laugh about (my grandad once brought my nan a gift which she nearly threw at him and it's still a joke now). For his sake, I'd leave him. Maybe then he can find someone who does appreciate him

Yes he has his own house but he moved to my place as my dc live with me 50% of time and they were doing their GCSE’s / Alevels ect plus my place is bigger. He does pay me rent or it wouldn’t be fair on me financially and we split the household bills. Yes I do earn approx £40k more but he still earns well enough to do without me. The renovations I’ve done to the house to accommodate his dc was my expenditure as this house needs to be owned 100% by me which is fine as adds to value of the house. He does look after me well, in terms of my health and also getting my car to mechanics ect.
We’ve had some issues this year, prob more appropriate for the relationship board but I don’t feel like talking about that after the main issue of this post.
Bottom line is, I was in a shit marriage and built my life from scratch. I left with a suitcase, laptop and 3 boxes and sometimes had to sleep in my car when I was getting divorced as my ex h would lock me out or in my new house which was inhabitable at point of purchase. I have high standards now, I don’t let things slide. Maybe I’m overly cautious but this is who I am now. I could still live very basically if I needed to as I’ve been there and nothing wrong with it.

It was never about the earrings as a possession but the gesture or thought behind it.

@MartinCrieffsLemon I have let it go. Posters wanted more clarification so it’s been given. Is that ok with you?

Reported for the personal attack on OP.

Thanks @pikkumyy77 … I didn’t actually read the messages as was offline but thank you for looking out for me x

Oh dear OP, on behalf of many posters I'd like to say thank you for sharing. There is nobody here who knows you & your relationship more than you do. We can only go by the information shared. You are a good person who has been through a lot of hurt. Please let the answers here help you to make your final decision in this relationship. Does he love you? Does he respect you? Is he good with your children? Please don't let a pair of earrings shared with this mans daughter be the decimation of your future. You are worth so much more.

I am glad they acted quickly. The number of ugly, personal attacks on this OP has really been unfortunate, to say the least.

Advise....grow up and stop being an ungrateful diva. Your beyond entitled

@Onceuponatime9 thanks for your calm and clear advice and for sharing your experiences. I do feel he loves me, he’s worked around me when things have been difficult and he has been there for me when I need him. He’s good with my dc too and family and he’s always proud of them.
And he is generally a good gift buyer 😅
I have calmed down now and he’s been very reassuring today as well which has helped. We are being normal with each other.

You don't sound like you have let it go

Telling OP she needs to let go of this isn't a nasty attack but MN likes to just delete comments

Oh DFO

So other posters call OP a diva, entitled, trash etc
And I'm the one being personal?

OK

It sounds like he's being grovelling all day which I hope isn't normal behaviour
And something you need to let him know isn't required

Have you apologised to him?

Yes I have.

That's good. Hopefully something can be salvaged from this.

🥰