Asking if my children would like to hug someone or would they prefer to give a high five.
They don't have to eat anything they don't like. They just have to keep trying it.
Not asking them to perform anything in public unless I know they'll enjoy it.
Looking the other way when they are using ridiculous amounts of chocolate sauce, ketchup or sprinkles. They've worked out too much is not better.
Feigning incompetence so they feel they genuinely need to do whatever job I have allocated and then some. And I'm grateful afterwards no matter how it looks.
Keeping every promise made to them or acknowledging when not kept.
Apologising where necessary.
School is optional but effort is not. All are self motivated high achievers at present but we spent a lot of time building forest dens with other wildlings and messing around at the beach for a while there.
Supporting hobbies they want to do, rather than what I wish I had done.
Affirming behaviour, not attributes they can't change.
Supporting schemes that sound ridiculous on the basis that this will either become clear to them or they will surprise me. (Such as when my just turned seven year old spent her birthday with a screw driver, pieces of a very complicated rabbit hutch and a book of instructions. She built it.)
Prioritising the relationship between siblings and negotiating friction carefully so they don't grow apart. Allowing these relationships to develop without me which has meant holding back on hikes so they have to work out how to help each other.
Reminding them after every high score that I would be equally proud if it was a low score provided they had put their effort into it but I'm delighted for them that it's a high score because of the opportunities it offers. Equally, not reacting if a score is disappointing but discussing how it happened. They always know.
Being ready to step back at any moment if autonomy is achieved but also willing to step forward if this is preferred. I don't care at what age they should be able to do x, y and z.
Telling them I love them because they are who they are and I'm so glad they came to our family. Rather than because they happen to hold the role of son/daughter.
No pressure on the girls to be lady like or sweet. They're being taught to be aware of what they think, and kind. Zero tolerance on scornful or unkind behaviour in any context. Ruthless removal of privileges for this but also exploring why they feel this way. Boys are being taught how to show respect for women because they're going to be physically stronger and this comes with responsibilities. Not because it is good manners as such.