DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

My ex was too. We divorced the year he became Master of the Lodge. Giving away his wages and out 5 nights a week to lodge practice did for us.

That's on the horizon. It's not him doing something he loves, I know I should love him for who he is but this part is so off putting, I can't even put my finger on why.

Ew. This would be a dealbreaker.

Because it's secretive and probably misogynistic and don't they all 'help' each other - who you know sort of thing? Not meritocracy.

God, yes that would give me the massive ick.

Ugh. I would hate this.

I would hate it, too.

An ex of mine was asked to join, as apparently he was just the kind of chap they like. Even that put me off him!

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it.

Why on earth would you do that?

Oh no. I couldn’t cope with this. Very ick.

Mysogynistic, superior, bigots. Very culty.

Yuck.

Omg my husband was in it years ago and is now rejoining! I'm not very impressed at all as it's just another self indulgent expense went i have fuck all hobbies outside the home apart from slaving away over my kids

My DF and all my uncles were/are freemasons so I was brought up with it being a natural thing. We had a lovely ladies' evening every year, but I can see how that might not make up for the amount of time he spent out of the home.

My BIL joined, but my husband never showed an interest, thankfully.

Urghh. It makes them feel important I guess

Yes, my husband is a Freemason as well.
Married for 20 years, never any problem with this.

What do they actually do at these things? I get that it used to be all helping each other out like someone said above, but surely there’s no need in that now and not everyone who joins is of a use?

Oh this is interesting! Do you have to give them money as a member? Sort of like Scientologists?

From previous posts, does it have any plus points apart from it being networking for the boys?

My DH was a member when I first met him. I used to laugh about it and the stupid pinny. But he let it slide, thankfully. His dad was the grand master of his lodge (or whatever it’s called) and lapped it all up - he loved being the centre of attention.

The Freemasons I know spend most of their time doing charity work.

What do they do at meetings?

On the plus side, my late DF was a freemason, after he died he left loads of masonic paraphenalia, 'aprons' 'jewels' watches etc and they fetched very good prices on eBay!
(We had lots of other, more fitting things to remember him by. )

Why do you pretend you're loving it? Tell him the truth.

aren't they a cult?

Oh no OP I would be cringing too. My friends’ brother and his wife are Freemasons, they are only in their 30s too and continuously monologuing about it.

I think you need to stand firm and no longer attend any events and hope this is another short lived hobby!

No no no no Absolutely not

I have known several Masons, and if my husband showed any sign of joining I’d be off like a whippet