DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

My Dad is in the Freemason in the USA. It is really not secretive in the USA, anyone can join and they do lots of good work in the community. They fundraiser rather than using their own funds. No idea what it is like in the UK though.

Personally, I wouldn't want to go to the "ladies nights". However, they do a lot of charitable work, and it's generally pretty harmless. I think it's healthy for couples to have separate interests, so I'd just let him crack on.

Apparently they were 'after' FIL for years... They do like to get the high-ranking police officers on side 😉. Thankfully, he's not actually a dickhead...

God no. It's embarrassing enough that DH wears shoes like my Dad. This would be the biggest turn off. I've been a waitress for the mason several.times.and they are a certain type. Little Englanders personified.

I'd be seriously questioning my husband as a person if he decided to join a secret, men- only club. I think you need an honest conversation with him. And I certainly wouldn't be attending events as arm candy.

@YerJokin the masons do a heck of a lot for charity! dont know what this years fundraisers will be for but they have raised thousands for prostate cancer, mens cancers, womens cancers, local hospitals, care homes and even local playgroups etc etc and after the tsunami they all raised sufficient funds to rebuild and furnish a hospital in sri lanka after the previous one had been swept away in the floods!! they do car boots, sponsored walks, fire walks, garden fetes etc

What does he actually do at meetings OP?

Not sure it would bother me. My ex was asked to join, but he never did.
There are other similar organisations out there. My grandad was a member of The Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffaloes.
I know a few people that are part of Moose International too. They do a lot for local charities.
In my town, there is one for women that advertises every so often in my local FB group.

It’s a cult.

Walk away. You’ll be next.

My husband is a Freemason. You can google the ceremonies and it gives you the ins and outs of it.

I have been to a couple of ladies nights with him. I was brought up around them so I get it’s fucking weird and it does give me the ick a bit.

Interestingly, my husband got to choose the charity one year to donate too and he chose the local food bank. When he tried to donate the x amount they had raised which was about £1500 - he was told they don’t accept donations from Freemasons.

I think it will die out in the next few decades.

Cultish twattery, I would be so embarrassed.

So are they basically the male adult version of Brownies?

Buy him warhammers instead. More expensive and dull but much safer and can play with the kids too. Three birds, one stone.

My grandfather was a Mason, I think he may have been Lodge Master at one point. My main memories are of my Grandma having a lot of fancy dresses and jewellery I thought were very glam as a young child. There seemed to be a lot of big social events (1970s). Also the yearly Xmas parties for children - the Santa gifts were really expensive toys for the time and the party food abundant. The anticipation was always huge.

I can sort of see the purpose of it back then but not now really.

He sounds like a master of the cock lodger. Get rid.

I don’t know much about the Freemasons but isn’t it akin to Round Table or Lions Club? My dad was in the local Round Table up to age 45 and I recall that the purpose was to socialise and make connections whilst doing good for charity and the community. There were lots of family events throughout the year. Is the Masons not the same?

Yes, that's been my experience too.

What's the apron for? There's an equivalent Catholic one, the Catenians. Are Catholics allowed to be Freemasons?

I’ve always been dubious of what kind of ‘helping out’ police officers, judges and appointed officials are able (or willing) to give.

I’d think it would go against the ethics of their profession, but think of all the charity work.

excuse the ignorance but what's so bad about charity work and doing good in the community?

@SiobhanSharpe On the plus side, my late DF was a freemason, after he died he left loads of masonic paraphenalia, 'aprons' 'jewels' watches etc and they fetched very good prices on eBay! the aprons and the jewels should have been returned to the lodge. the jewel if kept should be handed to a son or grandson who is also a mason.

It would be a huge no from me. Stop attending events and smiling: a bit of opposition from you might make him cool off a bit. Just grim on every level.

You can do that without joining a cringe boys club.

Why would a charity turn down money specifically from them?

How sad. This would be a make or break for me. Cringeworthy