DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

Agreed. My dad raised a few million when he was appointed as a fundraiser.
These days it's more of social club than any skulduggery. It's been good for my dads mental health in retirement.
From what I gather they act out readings from their books then all have dinner together.
The looking after their own is now more about practical and financial help to members.
I've never been to any of their events, not even when my dad was chair as it's not my thing,

I've known quite a few freemasons in my lifetime, including my dad's best friend and DH's uncle. I've found every one of them to be weird, creepy and secretive men.

there are also food banks which have benefitted massively during the pandemic! and dont forget the motorised wheelchairs purchased and the stair lifts also purchased for people who do not have the funds!

give Him an ultimatum…. Then walk away…..he will be brainwashed into the cult

Deals may have been done in the past - my grandad was a police officer and was a freemason but Im pretty sure it's a thing of the past.

My brother joined a few yrs ago then gave it up. Said it was pretty bland. however now he is a Musketeer :/
:D God knows what they do there.

The lodge was abroad, in an expat community he no longer belonged to and there was no son or grandson who was a mason.
And why in god's name would anyone want to perpetuate such sexism?

My dh’s friend is quite high up in the masons. I’ve told not to join as is mega cringe. DH fortunately agrees with me.

I met a member once and they were insufferable. Lots of ooooh you mustn’t tell wink wink. I was an acquaintance with zero idea why they even brought it up, other than they were trying to my arsehole ex to join. He was an arrogant, snobby, posh boy with Daddy issues so if that is the type of recruit eeeh no thanks.

Id struggle not to laugh op!! Glad you can see the funny side of it.

Oh god yes - the Christmas parties! My grandfather was a Freemason so we got to go to those Lodge parties. They were incredible and the highlight of my year when I was about five. I’d never seen such a huge Christmas tree, and they had a magician and amazing food, party games and presents. Legendary.

My SD used to be a member. We live in a small village and they used to meet up in the local club. He would never talk about what went on.

I'm thinking lots of these comments must be tongue in cheek as it's really not that big a deal really, nor really that big of a secret.

And hitler wasn't a fan of them either hmd.org.uk/learn-about-the-holocaust-and-genocides/nazi-persecution/freemasons/

I think there are far worse things a chap could be involved in. Step is one and it's a meeting a week, social elderly networks in the sticks, some nice events and lots of charity work. They donate toys to the local hospital and every child admitted gets a Teddy. He's quite high up in it I think - UK beyond the local lodge.

DH has been asked often. But he has a religious faith and focuses on that.

Jimmy Saville did a lot for charity. Just saying.

100% - being in a cult is not a hobby you have to support. Especially given the views on women.

Speaking as someone whose dad and grandfather was heavily involved.

Yes the magicians - I forgotten about those. I was utterly enthralled with the shows. They were the sort of acts you'd only see on the TV. There was clearly some money floating about in the 1970s Freemasons!

My dad was a Freemason. Never caused a problem. A few nights during the year and a couple of ladies nights too. They do a lot of charity work.

No idea why they wouldn’t take it. He called up said he had the donation that had been collected from the lodge they said no thank you we don’t take donations from Freemasons. I told him that was very telling. 🤣

That was to hide is paedophilia wasn't it? Are you wearing a tin hat perchance?

Stopped reading at 'giving me ick' - clearly written by a 12 year old

Yeah...

If there was a badge for 'getting people off a speeding ticket' and 'bribing the planning department for my extension'...

Just like that.

And……….?

The lodge … yup it’s a really big deal for members . My FIL is one.
They do lots of charitable work and fund raising and support their members. It’ve VERy time consuming

Nope, absolutely not! A load of men full of arrogance, creating rankings to give them self a delusional sense of importance. I’d say it speaks a lot to his character.

Hmm. I'm on the fence.

My dad is a freemason and has done it all my life (now in my 40s). He had a long commute from work and then he was off to his 'club'. I bloody hated it. All the secrecy and I didn't see much of him.

Apparently, if anything had happened to him when we were growing up, his family would be well taken care of. Indeed, when he had a heart attack a few years ago, my mum walked outside to visit him in hospital and her driveway had been shovelled free of snow. They provide a lot of friendship for my parents.

I wouldn't want my DH to do it though.

Clearly @CurlyhairedAssassin was making the point that "but they do charity work" isn't in any way proof that they aren't also problematic as an organisation. And using Jimmy Saville as a well known (the best known) example of this.