Husband went to the gym on Christmas Day?

[pineofcone]

We did Christmas just the two of us. We don’t have children and our families live in different countries.

We did presents, watched a film, cooked dinner and then he said he was off to the gym. He is very much into the gym, goes pretty much every day.

He couldn’t understand why I was annoyed that he couldn’t just miss one day. Aibu?

My dad used to use various reasons for having to leave the house on Christmas day so he could phone his affair partner(s).

He enjoys it and it makes him feel good so why not. Some people get anxious if they don’t go to the gym, they feel sluggish and restless. I don’t see the issue. But if you didn’t want him to and told him that I can see why you feel it’s selfish to ignore your feelings, regardless of what it’s about it.

I can't see the problem. Did you expect to be glued to each other's sides the whole day?
Would you have been upset if he'd just gone for a walk? Or taken an hour+ long bath? Or just had a nap?
Obviously assuming he was out for under 2 hours, I think you are being massively unreasonable. If you didn't want to be apart, maybe you should've gone with him

That’s quite mean

Neither can I but the OP seems to have a problem with it.

Going to the gym on Christmas day , especially as it's just the two if you I wouldn't be annoyed but as others said I'd check the Christmas opening times for ths gym he goes to first...

Tell me about it!

I don’t see the problem OP, if it’s just the 2 of you. It would be different if you had kids or family visiting, and he left you to do all the hosting, cooking etc on your own, while he buggered off to the gym. But if you’d had a nice chilled out day, just the 2 of you, I honestly can’t see what’s wrong with him going to the gym. When I was with my ex, pre kids, I would also go for a run on Christmas Day. It made me feel better after a sluggish day. I’d have been pretty pissed off if my partner had sulked about it.

I did a 2 hour run christmas eve and DH 2 hour bike ride on Xmas day. My kids are now teenagers, so don't need entertaining and we are making the most of it since we spent years doing kids stuff. Also if you are into sports it is making the most of your days off work.

Well, I guess that's just down to the variety of people you know. Gym bunnies are ten a penny, to me, it's utterly normal to be super into exercise. The gym is not usually my thing but if it was I'd probably think Xmas Day was a good time as it'd be quieter than normal. Leaping to "affair" about a bog standard activity (and then actually telling the OP this?!) just seems like a nasty, suspicious mind at work.

“Also it doesn’t sound like he missed much?” - Bit unnecessary!!! Why the barbed comment???

I can see both sides of this one.
You've said he enjoys the gym and goes everyday normally - so from his point of view why wouldn't he go?? It's something that's' his 'thing'. Nothing wrong with that.

On the other hand I can see why Christmas day is special to you and you wanted the whole day with him.

Did you communicate to him in advance what your expectation was for Xmas day? Did you even discuss it or did you just assume he might give the gym a miss? It sounds like you did do some nice things together so did you make any specific plan for the tow of you for the whole day (even if that was just watching the TV - was that talked about ahead of time?)

Hopefully that part of the day you did spend together was good - if so - try to just focus on that bit - not the part of the day you were alone.

I can’t see the issue, you’ve done lots of nice things together Christmas Day and he wanted a small window of time to do something else he loves. You could have always gone with him but I find it rather strange that he couldn’t have a couple of hours to himself.

So your wants trump his, when his are quite reasonable? Did you sulk?

I saw a fair few people out jogging on Christmas day, some people like exercise or want to exercise when they are eating more. I don't get the problem, he spent most of the day with you. My husband and I went out for a walk on Christmas, if he hadn't wanted to go I would have gone alone and if he got annoyed about me wanting to get some exercise I would be super annoyed.

Saw so many joggers on Christmas day but that was very early.

My ex h would have defo gone to the gym if he could have but in the morning.

I have been to the gym on Christmas day before. Unfortunately the gym (puregym) was closed (and the other 3 around as well). Otherwise I would have been there too (even though I am a mummy with small children). I love a good Christmas workout and find that I feel better and am more pleasant to be around if I have worked out (at the moment can't run and am waiting to buy a bike in the new year so can't do either of those)... I don't think he is unreasonable- even if you had small kids or 2 or so people over

Our gym opens at Christmas, it's self entry with a key card.

Why? He’d go for a run whilst I was out, no doubt. The gym would be lovely and quiet, we’d both be home for a Xmas dinner. Some people enjoy exercise. Is that hard to understand?

You shouldn't be with someone who goes to the gym every day if you don't like being with someone who goes to the gym every day. It's not fair to him and it's a nonsensical choice for you. You're just not compatible.

Not being able to enjoy your own company for a couple of hours is a bit of a worry too.

I see nothing wrong with it. People on Christmas Day walks, runs and swims.

did you want to go with him?

How long was he gone for?

if he buggered off for the remainder of Christmas Day, he's a selfish git.

If he went for an hour or 90 mins and then returned straight away showered and changed then that's more acceptable and no different to doing a run.

You've only given half the story though. You said you "cooked the dinner" and then he went out, which is really weird timing.

Did he just announce he was going out and expected you to hang around waiting for him to get back from the gym before you could sit down together and eat? or had you agreed when you'd eat, and he was going to the gym in between prepping and eating?

If he went instead of opening presents or cooking then I would be annoyed but honestly I think it's fine.. But you really need to discuss this together.

This is something I’d do. There are plenty of gyms open on Xmas day. It was a couple of hours, I can’t understand what the problem is.

Do you always guilt trip? You sound quite manipulative. If he can't have one hour to himself on Christmas without you calling in to question your whole relationship then.... (to use your manipulative method of getting a point across)