Pregnant after two months - keep it?

[BettyOops89]

I'm in a sticky situation and I don't know what to do.

Just found out that I'm pregnant, on Christmas Day.

I've been in my current relationship just two months, but it's the best connection I've ever had and see long term potential with this man.

I'm 36, have no other children and all I've ever wanted is to become a mum. Before this relationship I had spoken about going it alone because I didn't think I'd find anyone.

I've told him but he said the timing is all wrong. He's just finishing his Masters (mature student) and I'm in a secure job but don't earn tons. He's also from abroad on a student visa so pressure is on to find a proper job in the New Year so he can stay.

I think I would have help from family if the worst happened but I also don't want to lose this special relationship if he really doesn't want the baby right now.

What would you do?

I hope you’re not as vile and sanctimonious in real life as you are in these comments. How unnecessary given the update.

I was responding to this ridiculous comment.

Sorry about some of the awful judgemental comments you have received. Very disappointing when women shame other women.

As if being female means you should support anything another woman does.

That is not a ridiculous comment. It is absolutely disappointing and actually quite bizarre that you continue to kick a woman when she’s down, who stated she thinks she is having a miscarriage.

Bore off with your bitter and condescending nonsense.

The OP will have long gone. Your comment is ridiculous. Being female isn't a free pass to avoid all criticism from other women.

The OP was acting like a love struck 16 year old. She and the man both behaved irresponsibly.

The OP is long gone yet here you are still spouting this judgemental nonsense.

What on earth are you on about?! No im going off the nhs website and general knowledge that everyone knows! https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/infertility/diagnosis/#:~:text=You%20should%20see%20a%20GP,when%20reaching%20your%20mid%2D30s The chances of getting pregnant within one year when 24 is 86 cent but chances of getting pregnant at between 35-39 within a year is 52 percent.

Where does it say 52% in that link?

Absolutely this

No it’s not - that link says that over 80% of under 40s will conceive within a year.

https://uk.clearblue.com/fertility/getting-pregnant-over-35

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20240313-the-fertility-myth-most-advice-says-womens-fertility-declines-after-35-the-truth-is-more-complicated

It’s bloody scaremongering. Women have been having babies after 35 forever.

I was 34 when I had my first baby and pretty much the youngest in my NCT Cohort, who all went on to have second children with little issue. I appreciate anecdote isn’t data but even when having my 2nd at 39 no one even blinked at my age during my appointments.

I agree. I was 34 when I had my first and I was still one of the first people in my friendship groups to have a baby! Very normal in this day and age, especially when women have spent their 20s building a career and travelling. There is so much scaremongering about women’s fertility that I was absolutely gobsmacked when I got pregnant straight away.

That has come from church records in the 1700s. The new data shows that there is about 4% decline from 35 to 40.

Women just weren't worth studying until recently. That's the reason this myth has been ridden on the back of until recently.