DH asking if I had a nice Christmas irks me

[RainbowDr0p]

I know I am probably BU but wondering if I am alone in this?!

We've had a lovely few days, Christmas's ice skating, mulled wine and shopping in York then lovely Christmas day and pizza hut, shopping and a panto yesterday. Everyone in good spirits.

On Christmas evening, DH asked if I had a nice day. I bit my tongue and said yes, have you?" and he said yes too. Last night he asked if I had a nice Christmas and I said I had but I hated being asked that as had I given any indication otherwise? He said he was just trying to make conversation and I told him he's not my hairdresser! We didn't row or anything and moved on just fine.

I've realised he asks this a lot after we have had nice days or unusual days. AIBU in thinking it's an unimaginative - maybe praise seeking - question?!!!

My family is very English, there's not much else in our side going back generations. I've never been asked "are you eating your lunch" while eating or "are you reading" when I'm reading. That's a your DH thing not an "English" thing.

For me that’s a totally normal qu. You will have both experienced the evening differently / had different conversations, so it’s a ‘how is it for you?’ question.

I might say something like, "That was such a lovely day! Didn't we get lucky with <whatever>" and he will chime in with similar but I don't think I'd ask if he enjoyed himself as it would almost be as if I hadn't been there and couldn't see or perceive that he was in fact enjoying himself as much as me. So yes to me it would be an odd question.

You sound very miserable can’t believe you get ratty over this

As much as my DP doesn’t represent the whole nation neither do you 🙂 I’m aware it’s not like every single English person does that but I see that a lot, at work too and it’s something noticed because I’ve never come across this before coming here.

Are you looking for an excuse to have a row with DH?

You sound like hard work, sorry OP!

Maybe you have a blank facial expression or look permanently grumpy, such that he had to ask if you enjoy things? Maybe you ought to appear more positive?

I think that it is nice and thoughtful of him to ask if you enjoyed your day. He sounds like a nice husband who cares about you.

My husband and I have been together for almost 25 years and we’ve probably asked each other this same question about 20 times since Christmas Eve alone! 😂

For me it’s just nice to check in on each other and align, but mostly it’s a perfect segue to further conversation.

OP has a strange perspective imo 😕

Im really sorry but are you actually for real? My fiancé died in October and I'm not coping very well, I've been masking my emotions at work and home for weeks. He asked if you had a nice time and you're pissed with him? Wtaf?

I actually love when DH asks me if I had a great (or bad) day especially on special occasions like Christmas, regardless if he was present or not.
In my mind, by asking, he shows he cares about how I feel. It also opens up a conversation and we can comment on the things that happened throughout the day. I also ask him sometimes. It never occurred to me that this could irritate anyone.

What a bizarre thing to think! Shows he deeply cares about you having special moments and memories. And there you are just shitting all over that.

Agree

You're being ridiculous and I really hope you're reading these responses and having some serious self reflection. Oh boohoo you have a DH that actually cares how you feel and wants to make sure you've had a good time. Jesus Christ! Id divorce him now if I were you, you clearly dont like him.
There's some threads on here sometimes that I honestly cant believe women allow themselves to be treated that way. And yet here we have a DH that obviously can't do right for doing wrong and you're moaning about a simple question he's asking to start a conversation with you.
Me and DH ask eachother this all the time after an event or special occasion. Just because you've spent the day together doing the same activities, we all have different experiences and doesn't mean we all felt the same way about it. Honestly, get a grip.

not read the whole thread but this seems a bit odd- maybe because I’ve probably asked my husband the same things a few times since Christmas Day. I always assumed it was normal ?

What an absolute arsehole he is, checking in on you, taking an interest in your feelings and looking to start a conversation. Obviously you must LTB immediately!

@emziecy
I'm so sorry for your loss, and such a tough time of year for you to navigate through the early days of losing someone you love. I hope you're doing OK.

Thank you ❤️

😂 me and my whole family keep having moments after something like a game/food etc where we are all happy/content and just look at each other and say “nice Christmas??” “Yess nice Christmas, nice Christmas??” “Ohh yes lovely Christmas” 😂😂😂 possibly jump to the next people in the room. It’s just nice 😅 non of us are very good with small talk and at least me and my brother are adhd. Maybe we are all dopamine chasing? but it’s basically just a way to share how nice a time we are having 😅

I would make a medal and hand it to him. Or maybe pat him on the head like a dog. Because I can be petty like that.

My DH once asked me if I noticed he'd cleaned the bathroom sink. I asked him if he'd noticed I'd vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner and done three loads of laundry? He said "well, yes but did you notice I cleaned the sink?" And so I questioned why he needed me to praise that when he said nothing about anything I do.

He's done much more since then and doesn't mention it.

My DH has ADHD and therefore he needs constant confirmation that everything is ok, if he’s cooked a meal he will ask about 10 times what I think. I believe I’m on the ND spectrum somewhere so I do get a bit peeved with the constant need for his gratification. Though I do recognise it’s equal on both sides

I totally understand! My DH does this too - continuously. It is so wearing. I feel as if I’m always having to ‘thank him’ for taking me anywhere even if we go in my car and I drive! The best one though was when, after his father’s funeral, he turned to his mum and asked HER if she’d had a good day!!

I mean, it's totally normal to ask my DH if he enjoyed the day and vice versa. We always ask how each others day at work went as well. Because we care for each other and want to check in.

Maybe you have had resting bitch face all day, so he genuinely doesn't know if you had fun? You know, you can respond with more than "yes" you know. "I had a great day, thanks, although I think I'm now 95% made of cheese! How about you?"