Emetophobia - gonna get flamed...

[Dunnoburt]

Myself, partner and 8 year old have my parents over in their 70s for Christmas..... my mum has been sick 4 times in the last 3 hours, once over herself (and she's so fucking passive that she didn't even tell me she had put clothes and cleaning up paper in the bin ...😫) .....I have crippling and I mean crippling emetophobia.......why does nobody understand that I now can't touch anything.... I'm terrified... I've been told to calm the fuck down, shut the fuck up, grow up, in a logical brain, yes.....absolutely..... but I can't help it.....I CANNOT HELP IT.....all I can now think about is everything that has been touched, transferred etc and that everyone is going to catch it...... And all I really want to do is give my mum a fucking cuddle and make sure she's OK because feeling sick is just the fucking worst......she won't tell.me the truth because she's the only one who actually takes my phobia seriously....hence the hiding in the bin etc. It's definitely a bug as she doesn't drink and has eaten everything we all have today...........give my fucking head a wobble mumsnet. Just wish I didn't have this fucking phobia....its like a chain around my neck.

Flame me ladies please xx

Why would anyone flame you over a genuine phobia? Sick bugs are rotten and when you have this additional level of fear it's bloody horrendous. All I can say is hand washing and dettol spray which I'm sure you're already very au fait with.

Good luck and don't beat yourself up. You don't deserve to be flamed!

Seeing so many I'm being unreasonables has actually dropped my heart rate...... thank you.....I know IABU .......I know.....

How have you managed your 8 year old being sick? I had emetaphobia but unfortunately my eldest suffered with an issue that meant regular vomiting and a lot of it! I wanted to be there for her despite my fear. I think the only way is exposure to it and not running from it i.e getting a partner to deal. You need to be more worried about your elderly mother.

To both of you that have replied ty so so much, one of the main reasons I'm so worried is the 8 yo getting it..... I've been flamed all evening here.....phobia is so bad that it was a consideration for having small person....I MADE my dad take the Dettol down to my poor mum whilst she was "cleaning up" (all very cloak and dagger)
....I may actually wee in the garden this evening (you think I'm joking)......I feel so fucking guilty that's the problem .....

Your poor mother shouldn’t be worrying about managing your emotions when she’s feeling so poorly though 😕

What steps are you taking to try to tackle the phobia?

Hi OP I’ve got SERIOUS emetophobia - I’m scared stiff of vomit - no flamings here

EXACTLY.....I'm 💯 in agreement.....in fact 1000000 in agreement..... I've had CBT, hypnotism and just raising my small person.....

Another emetophobe here. Sorry for what you are going through, I can imagine how difficult it is right now. Do you know why you are so worried about your 8 year old getting it?

Only empathy here OP. I'm also severely emetophobic but only about other people being sick. It's awful but hard for non-sufferers to understand (I guess like how spiders don't bother me in the slightest but trigger crippling fear/anxiety/panic in so many people). Hope you and your mum are both ok.

I really feel for you but maybe this can be the motivator to try to tackle it once and for all? Have you done much in the way of therapy for it? Your poor mum sounds like she's feeling really rotten but is clearly so worried about you she's hiding scrubbing it up to try not to worry you. I know you currently can't help it but this has to be a massive wake-up call. You can't continue to live like this, for everyone's sakes. In the new year, get to your GP or find the money for some private therapy. Thrive programme or EMDR?

Are all the ellipses for dramatic effect?

I don't get how your mum was sick all over herself at that age - surely she knew she felt sick and should have gone outside/to the bathroom/took herself off home. I'm not emetophobic but I really don't like sick and do everything I can to make sure we don't get bugs here BUT if this was my mum I'd probably just be a bit cross she couldn't act like an adult.

So it might sound strange but I'm emetophobic about other people being sick.....obviously I hate it myself but I'm not as anal as some.....and I know and know and know that the anticipation is always worse than the main event xxx I've had to try and use an analogy for my dad of a "snake necklace"......

No judgement here, it sounds horrendous for you. If I were your mum, I'd have been heading home before now even if it was with a bucket. For a grown adult to be sick over themselves is pretty gross, however you look at it. Is it a bug or has she been drinking?

Sorry..... just my way of "setting the scene".....

I’m not an emetophobe and I would also be freaking out about this OP, you have my sympathies. Fingers crossed you all avoid it.

Or sorry, I missed the line about not drinking. In that case, she should definitely either be at home or quarantined somewhere

She has COPD and couldn't walk quick enough.....I didn't see it, nor did anyone else

Yeah, total sympathy here. I used to have emetophobia plus was terrified of getting a stomach bug (after being frighteningly unwell with it once).

I'm mostly fine now (not sure what cured me) but the fear and anxiety around vomiting or getting a stomach bug affected my life very significantly for a good few years.

Thinking of you xx

But surely before that she would say I don't feel well best I go home?! Still don't understand it. Anyway hope she feels better. I'd be running round with the bleach and opening all the windows though by now.

Yep, fellow emetophobe here. I know exactly how you feel. It's rough.
I've got some unhelpful beliefs which drive it along, such as not believing I'd cope if it happened, that it would be awful etc. I try to detach myself from them a bit as I know they're now what I want to truly believe, so they're not truly me. It's just my mind catastrophising.

That does seem to help me a bit.

Huge empathy here. We’ve just finished a week of norovirus, whole house hit except my 10 year old who has dreadful emetophobia, it’s been an awful week for her. Sending love x

They live 2 hours away......I'm not sending her home.....she is hiding how shit she feels..... I'm not sending them home until she's better......because despite my phobia and as much as I want to, I can't do that xxx

If I hear or see anyone gagging then I will too, completely involuntary 😬