Emetophobia - gonna get flamed...

[Dunnoburt]

Myself, partner and 8 year old have my parents over in their 70s for Christmas..... my mum has been sick 4 times in the last 3 hours, once over herself (and she's so fucking passive that she didn't even tell me she had put clothes and cleaning up paper in the bin ...😫) .....I have crippling and I mean crippling emetophobia.......why does nobody understand that I now can't touch anything.... I'm terrified... I've been told to calm the fuck down, shut the fuck up, grow up, in a logical brain, yes.....absolutely..... but I can't help it.....I CANNOT HELP IT.....all I can now think about is everything that has been touched, transferred etc and that everyone is going to catch it...... And all I really want to do is give my mum a fucking cuddle and make sure she's OK because feeling sick is just the fucking worst......she won't tell.me the truth because she's the only one who actually takes my phobia seriously....hence the hiding in the bin etc. It's definitely a bug as she doesn't drink and has eaten everything we all have today...........give my fucking head a wobble mumsnet. Just wish I didn't have this fucking phobia....its like a chain around my neck.

Sympathy from me too, fed up with panicking about sickness and bugs when everyone else in my family seems so relaxed. Hope your mum is feeling better soon and you can find a way to calm down

No flaming here. I am a fellow emetephobe and here is how I manage it:

Anti sickness tablets from the GP. I know if I feel sick, I have tablets to stop me from being sick ( sadly they don't stop nausea and retching though)

Buying Clinnell wipes. The NHS use them and they are the only ones that kill noro etc

Frequent hand washing. Not ott but whenever I come in the house along with after using the loo etc

Have your own towel

Clinnell wipes door handles, toilet flushes, light switches etc

Stay hydrated just in case. Ensure you have ice lollies lollies in so you can suck on these if you are unwell

If you are ok by Friday then you should be all clear

The thing is though, despite all your fear and panic, you are managing - you’ve not sent her home, you’ve not run away. That’s so brave and something to remember. Tonight will be really long, as will the next few days, but they will pass, just as they always do.

You can cope, because you are already.

@Dunnoburt I have emetophobia badly.
Avoid towns and pubs where drunks may be-
Have had it since childhood.

Norovirus is an horrendous virus.
I have read that it is normal to recoil from vomit-
so not that much of an unreasonable phobia to have.

Had Noro very badly earlier in year- it absolutely sucks.
Hope you and your daughter escape unscathed.

My daughter has had emetophobia since she was 4, triggered by a kid throwing up on a fairground ride near her. It's absolutely crippling, she refused to go on holidays, trips out, anywhere she might encounter someone vomiting. Even the dogs puking would put her into hysteria.

I really feel for you and totally understand.

The only thing that really works is exposure therapy. DD is a bit better having had this but still has issues.

I have emetophobia too - I completely get it. Whilst I’m irrational when it comes to MY life, as an outsider I want to try and give you some rational reassurance that you won’t start falling like dominoes.

Since I had DS 3 years ago, I’ve had one sick bug and he’s had two - no one else (including each other) in the house caught it, despite me usually sharing drinks/food with him and sleeping in the same bed.

Hopefully the rest of you will remain well and she’ll feel better soon. Good luck OP x

No flaming from me - it's horrible having a phobia and even when you know you're not being rational you can't turn your brain off 😞 if it makes you feel better, get the bleach out and clean all surfaces, door handles and light switches! I hope your mum feels better soon & that you don't come down with it - it's not inevitable as your immune system is going to be stronger than mum's. My kids had plenty of stomach bugs when they were little that I didn't catch, even though I was the one cleaning up and looking after them!

I would lose my mind and actually leave the house so you are doing better than you think! My heart goes out to you though !

I'm the same as you OP. If that was me and I I couldn't go home is stay in my room.
I would gladly sleep in my car to avoid it. It's crippling at times. I truly feel like I can't cope with it when I'm bad so lots of love to you xx

You can't stop yourself from bring sick. The good thing is that as a non pregnant adult your likelihood of being sick is very low. Touch wood I haven't actually been sick in over ten years, I have had bouts of nausea and diarrhea and that's with having dc and clearing up after their bouts of sickness.

I feel for you OP, due to mine and my DD’s health condition i’m scared stiff of us getting sick, hope you’re ok 😘

I'm severely emetophobic too. It has blighted my life since I was 6 or 7 and affected me socially; I can't use public transport or eat out.
I particularly hate this time of year. Terrified of noro, terrified of drunks.

When my partner was sick a few years ago, I did actually resort to weeing in a bucket downstairs because I just couldn't go near the bathroom.

I hope your mum recovers quickly and that you and your partner and child won't be affected.
Judging from the responses here there are more of us suffering this phobia than you might imagine.

Exposure therapy- Never had it BUT was on a day trip with someone who was sick behind me on a minibus-

I coldn’t run screaming away- I’d broken my ankle and couldn’t walk ( freshly done, so no crutches)
I was trapped on the bus.

I survived!

still hate vomiting people ( dog I can cope with) but it’s not as absolutely life controlling as it once was.

No flaming from me OP.

Of course it's unreasonable - that's phobias for you!

Keep battling it and know that you can chip away at it even though that seems impossible. I have a different phobia which was terrible throughout my childhood and my 20s, but I kept chipping away at the edges of it until it became easier to live with. Now in most situations I can stay calm and pretty much just get on with my day. It is still there and it will always need managing and I'll never just be 'ok' with it, but I have taken masses of control back.

Please know that you will not always have to feel this way (even though you will read this and think 'yeah, but this is different'!)

I’m having to work hard at not panicking on your behalf just reading about it, so I totally get it.

Anti bac spray, keep your distance, as many windows open as you can cope with and someone else boil washes towels etc is all i can offer you!

My 15 year old daughter's life is completely controlled by her emetophobia - I've spent much of Christmas day hiding the Zoflora from her. My sympathies to all sufferers and their families.

It is one of the commonest, most reasonable phobia.

Vomiting people are natural to steer away from.

Alcohol induced vomiting at this time of year is grim.

What is your actual reaction in this situation? Do you shout? Cry? Do you do specific things to try to control your anxiety?

It doesn’t matter how bad your phobia is, it isn’t acceptable to make other people upset or panicked or to have them afraid to behave normally because of how you might react.

@oakleaffy
Like you, I can cope with sick dog (or cat) just not sick human. With the dog I can actually clean it up, if its my husband sick I have to leave the house...

She threw-up on herself then put her clothes in the bin? Hopefully you mean the outside bin, not the kitchen. What an unusual way to behave in someone else's house! Is she always like that?

@Hertzdonut
I don't think you have any understanding of what a phobia is. You can't just say "it isn't acceptable" to someone who has no control of their fear or how they react to it.

Another emetophobe here. You are doing amazingly well. Like you say you know it’s irrational but you really can’t help your reaction. I have actually fainted from panic when someone was sick near me and never had children. My partner was vomiting yesterday from a bug I presume. I was sat in a room furthest away with earplugs in and have bleached the place within an inch of its life. Could just about stick my head around the door to make sure he was ok at intervals. He is better today and I’m waiting with bated breath to see if I come down with it next so have hardly eaten for two days .. it’s ridiculous I know. Hopefully your mum will be better tomorrow and you will all escape it .

Omg ty all so so much, I cannot believe how many others are suffering with this...... you will not believe how much you have all "eased" me.......sorry, using the quotation marks again but just knowing there ate people out there who "understand" has literally reduced the worry, ty all so much. Xxx and yes...

I had a wild wee.... lol

I put lol....see, amazing how much an online community can help xx my parents have been in bed a while now and not heard any movement....praying the worst is over for my mum, because as much of a shit I've been.....she's the only one I care about but can't xxx

I’ve got ocd and did exposure and response prevention therapy for phobias. I do understand it.
If someones reaction to a trigger is very extreme, involves shouting, upsetting others, frightening them etc then they need to figure out some way to manage it better. That’s why I’m asking what the actual reaction is.

I know. And that's the problem....I know. It's irrational...