Emetophobia - gonna get flamed...

[Dunnoburt]

Myself, partner and 8 year old have my parents over in their 70s for Christmas..... my mum has been sick 4 times in the last 3 hours, once over herself (and she's so fucking passive that she didn't even tell me she had put clothes and cleaning up paper in the bin ...😫) .....I have crippling and I mean crippling emetophobia.......why does nobody understand that I now can't touch anything.... I'm terrified... I've been told to calm the fuck down, shut the fuck up, grow up, in a logical brain, yes.....absolutely..... but I can't help it.....I CANNOT HELP IT.....all I can now think about is everything that has been touched, transferred etc and that everyone is going to catch it...... And all I really want to do is give my mum a fucking cuddle and make sure she's OK because feeling sick is just the fucking worst......she won't tell.me the truth because she's the only one who actually takes my phobia seriously....hence the hiding in the bin etc. It's definitely a bug as she doesn't drink and has eaten everything we all have today...........give my fucking head a wobble mumsnet. Just wish I didn't have this fucking phobia....its like a chain around my neck.

No flaming from me. I have this awful phobia too and it’s blighted my life since I was 11. It absolutely rules my entire life. I’ve tried everything possible to get rid of it but nothing has worked even a tiny bit. People seem to understand someone having a phobia of spiders or snakes, but not vomit. Which is ridiculous because if you’re scared of yourself and other people vomiting, it’s something you can never ever get away from. It’s like living in a house with a box full of spiders at all times. And the spiders are locked in the box but you know that they can be released at any time with no warning or very little warning. And even if you leave the house you have to take the box of spiders with you and it could open even when you’re out of the house. There is no escape. I understand. Under the circumstances you are doing brilliantly.

PS I would absolutely wee in a bucket rather than use the bathroom after someone had been sick in there. I know that’s mad but it is what it is.

I don't have emetophobia and I wouldn't be happy about this OP. Especially with noro flying around. If she had been honest, she could have been made comfortable in another room and everything sanitised with bleach.

I'm not going to say that YANBU: by definition you're being unreasonable, because you're in the grip of an illness that makes you unreasonable.

That doesn't mean I'm not sympathetic.

Best wishes for a swift recovery for your lovely mother and an eventual recovery for you.

Yet another emetophobe here. I’m exactly the same as you, OP. Can’t cope at all with others being sick, no issue when it’s me (in fact I would sacrifice myself to not have to see another person throw up). I can’t even watch someone being sick on TV, even if I know it’s not real. Just to add to the chorus of YANBU (for all the reasons mentioned by others), I want you to know that I’ve found seeing all these responses extremely validating. I don’t feel like anyone has ever really taken my phobia seriously even though it essentially prevented me from going out at night through uni and has also played a significant part in my decision not to have kids. I’ve just felt like a shithouse when my friends have got blind drunk and I’ve stayed away incase they threw up, or when I’ve refused to hold friends’ babies for fear they’d be sick on me. It’s such a relief to know that I’m not alone!

It's not a cure (even though it claims it is), but those suffering with this, have a look at the Thrive Programme. It's very good.
It's helped me more with my general mental health than emetophobia itself but it's really helped me understand how my mind actually works.
That and the Chimp Paradox. Phobias like this stem for unhelpful and catastrophic thinking patterns, nothing else.

Would never phone you, sounds really stressful. Not your family’s fault but not your fault either. Sounds like you’re trying your best.

This......just this... you are me, in a nutshell xx all is quiet.....which means that for now, the worst is over......too many replies to quote but the "normal" fears are genuinely taken seriously.....this one is not....because it doesn't have lots of legs....doesn't fly.....doesn't slither......the absolute worst thing when it is so close to home is the. Empathy for the person but the phobia pulling you back xxx

Can I ask what EDMR is please? It took the doctors long enough to take it seriously for CBT......anything.....genuinely, anything that will help I'd consider xxx

😂 Same!
My Whippet was a very “sicky” puppy- in fact she yokked and did a teaspoon full of sick when I went to meet her at 7 weeks old ( she didn’t come home til 9 weeks old, but goodness me, she was very prone to vomiting in those early weeks. ( Delicate tummy) Vet said she’d outgrow it , and she did.

I’d see her start to yok and would put a magazine ( antiques trade gazettes) under her chin.

She once threw up sardines in a car on a hot day and I could manage fine-even with fishy whiff.

It’s humans that make me 😱 panic! A rough ferry crossing would be hellish.😂

I hate it too!
I drove my husband nuts when we were lookin to buy our current house. I wouldn't consider any house with fewer than 3 bathrooms 🤣

There used to be an online site about it ( Emetophobia) about 12 yrs ago.

The site seems to have gone now, but what was interesting she showed “ photos “ of vomit or soup , and asked us to look and tell which was which.
I felt panicky looking at the images, through my fingers- then nauseated.

Then it said ALL the images were soup!!
This made me realise how much the mind has a powerful effect on behaviour.

The images were pixels on a screen- harmless soup.
I could look without fear, then.

Ive had this crippling phobia since i was about 7, well that’s when my parents noticed something was up with my reaction to things, I avoided school trips, travel, parties it absolutely dominates my life at times and I feel the walls are closing in on me. I’ve tried hypnosis and cbt. I, like you also feel both terrified and guilty at the same time if it’s a loved one, it really is a phobia I wouldn’t wish on anyone and you are doing better than I would be. I would also be weeing in the garden. Hang in there and this forum is a great support for sufferers as there are many of us in this rubbish club.

Funnily enough my CBT session involved my wonderful "therapist?" Making a pot of fake vomit.....it has the whole smell etc (presuming rennit) and she made me sniff, touch etc..... but that's not my fear.....well,it is, but it.wasnt "real".......I love mumsnet, you are all occupying me xxx thank you xxx

You poor thing. You can access help. My colleague's son sought help and, while not altogether over it, is now much more able to cope.

Omg and I can't believe how much better I am from what I used to be......I guess exposure from small person...I once got off the last bus home because someone spewed and had to get a taxi at 50 quid
.... I guess I'm most aware with small person but never had to deal with parents (grandparents who had cancer yes (suspect this is part of the issue)) but parents.. no....

This is me, I can cope with myself being sick but go into total panic at the thought of anyone else. If I'm on public transport I'm on high alert all the time, checking if anyone looks like they might be sick! The more situations that people are/or I've heard of people being sick, then that's another situation I worry about.

I think it's the worst phobia...you can avoid spiders, snakes, heights, enclosed spaces to a degree but not vomit, unless you avoid people/transport/children/hospitals/doctors life in general .

I don’t have that phobia but a friend of mine does. I see it seems to be very common and I have total sympathy for you - I have my own phobias.

Tbh phobia aside if your mum does have a sickness bug surely tomorrow first thing she should leave if someone is able to drive her home?

Sorry maybe I missed it but why did your mum visit you with a sickness bug?

I genuinely didn't realise how bloody common this phobia is........I have what I call a "sick sense" (instead of sixth)......and its never wrong x̌x my dad will be driving home but as much as I can't deal with it, they aren't leaving until she's better xxx

She didn't....knowingly anyway xx

My husband is a psychiatrist and SO MANY of his patients have it! It's ridiculously common. I've had it since I was a child and he chuckles at me when an 'event' happens. Luckily he now knows to step in and take over, no questions asked 🤣

Nope.....kitchen bin.....out of embarrassment etc...I hope anyway....thankfully I have a drawer full of plastic gloves *(psoriasis on hands) so once she admitted I made DH put some gloves on and empty.....he looked at me like I was crazy. 🙇

Can we swap???? Lol xxx

Don't be so fucking ignorant. Do you really think she'd just have vomited over herself if she could have helped it? And given the OP's phobia, it's not as if she could admit feeling a bit queasy and ask for a bowl.