To ask if a friend's birthday was around Xmas time, would you be willing to celebrate their birthday in the summer instead?

[Appalonia]

My birthday is a few days after Xmas. As many of us on here know, who also have their birthday at this time, it tends to get overlooked. I've come to terms with it, but it still makes me feel a bit sad, and tbh it feels like I don't really have a birthday. I totally understand that Pp are busy, or away, or don't have much money and that it's just one more thing to have to deal with at this time of year.

This year I have a significant birthday coming up and I'm wondering whether I should just have a celebration in the Spring/Summer instead? It feels a bit of a cheek tbh, but if I'd really like to have something that's just for me! I don't want presents, I just want to feel a bit special for one day. If someone invited you to something like this, honestly, how would you feel..?

I have a friend who us talking about doing this. Their birthday isn't near Christmas but they lost a loved one very close to their birthday and would like to 'move ' it to a happier time of year.

Of course I would.

Some proper miserable bastards on here, begrudging their friends a special day that’s actually about them, rather than being overshadowed by the brash lights, shit and overpriced set meals and general expense of the Christmas period. Fake arse friends, not fake birthday! Can’t believe you are happy for someone you supposedly care about to miss out just because they were born at the wrong time of year.

Not being funny but presents get wrapped up with Xmas paper all year round, I have had this and my birthday is in May. Most people do not have perfectly organized homes or lives and will need to grab whatever paper is available. Perfectly normal for gifts not to be wrapped at all, if you are an adult. I personally think it’s odd to hand cards over to people who you are in the same room with, and most people I know think of cards as a way to send a message to someone who is somewhere else.

In response to the above I don't think you need to have a perfectly organised home or life to wrap a birthday present in birthday paper. You just need to be thoughtful.

My birthday is in summer, right at start of summer holidays (especially traditional local holidays) and no-one is ever around for it. It’s been that way my whole life, obviously…so no big parties or celebrations, just something with whatever few people were around. It’s just one of those things and I guess I’ve just learned to accept it 😐

Exactly. Few people get the sort of hoopla the OP is expecting. Regardless of the time of year.

Well, Queen Elizabeth II did something similar with an "official' birthday, and no one seemed to mind - they even put her picture on stamps and stuff, so I'd say it was fine.

Note: You won't get your pic on stamps and money (just in case you thought I was implying that you would.)

I would definitely go.

Were planning to celebrate my dd’s 16th in the summer after her GCSEs as it was end Oct, right before she had mocks, and she didn’t feel like celebrating it then.

So join b day/ end of exams party!

When is your name day? My birthday is early January so everyone is miserable. My name day is mid August so I celebrate my name day instead of my birthday 😀 It might not work for you but it's worth finding out if you don't know.

Just checked & my name day is beginning of January exactly 3 weeks after my December birthday so no use to me 🤣

Are your parents still around to be teased? You could tell them they've let you down doubly: you could forgive their poor timing with respect to your birthday (no doubt they were so eager to meet their lovely offspring that they couldn't bear to wait another six months before starting production 😂), but once you'd put in an appearance, they should have realised their mistake and chosen a name which gave you better birthday options 😁

I was all ready to vote YABU, until you said it was a significant birthday and you would be organising a proper party. For just an ordinary ‘come out for a drink for my birthday and make a fuss of me’ it would feel weird, but for a one-off big celebration, get all my family/friends together, I think it’s different and YANBU. I think that kind of ‘do’ can be at any convenient time, though I might aim for end of Aug/Sep time as it’s at least a bit closer to the time and can easily be ‘before everyone gets really busy, my big birthday is in a few months’.

I can’t understand grown adults throwing birthday parties for themselves so I think you’re being unreasonable.

I'd be grateful to be invited, the date (or even the occasion is not that relevant to me), it's a party!

I can't understand people who resent other people celebrating their birthdays. Only on MN are people miffed and looking down at others. If you want to ignore yours, fine, but I am glad most people I know don't. Life is too short and too boring, any excuse to celebrate is valid. I love birthdays. Have a trip away, a party, a shopping spree, a weekend with friends, with your huband whatever. Enjoy

A birthday not on the actual day is a total non issue.

Absolutely I would.

I think I said this on another thread, but I know someone who moved their birthday when she was in her late teens. Everyone she met from that point forward was under the impression her birthday was in the summer. Only her family and childhood friends knew differently.

I wouldn't do it every year but fine for a significant birthday. Early Spring wouldn't feel too far away.

I think birthday parties for adults are fine (for any year), but for goodness' sake organize it yourself and treat it as "an excuse to hang out with my lovely friends and give them an opportunity for a fun evening, as well as for me." And frankly, most adults I know who organize "birthday drinks" specify "no gifts."

As opposed to angling for presents and making it about "a day when everyone makes a fuss of me," complete with whingey threads on Mumsnet having a strop because "someone gave me Lindt chocolates/handcream/a bath bomb which is so generic," "someone used Christmas wrapping paper," "someone didn't give me a card as well as a gift" "someone mentioned their pregnancy/work promotion/engagement during my big birthday party" etc. etc. Or waiting for other people to organize it on your behalf and then getting angry when they don't (OP, not saying you would do any of this, but I'm just doing a digest of some of some of the stuff I've seen here and on various other threads over the past week).

Do it! My mums birthday is new years eve so for her 50th she had a "half birthday party' in the summer . She told people she didn't want cards or presents, just their company for a party. Didn't book a hall etc, just a bbq and some live music in the garden with friends and family and everyone had a great time. Everyone thought it was a great idea as her birthday is always overlooked because of new year!

I would do it for a big birthday. Not to actually change the birthday but to say ‘I’m having my 21st/30th/40th party/night out in April instead. I wouldn’t bother for a less significant birthday. Lots of people have birthdays around Christmas and just have to deal with it.

It was my birthday yesterday (my DH is the 23rd Dec so we get a double whammy!), we are seriously considering holding a party for our birthdays in the middle of summer, Christmas birthdays suck! So go for it!!!

I'd happily celebrate whichever day you choose. I don't celebrate my birthday on my actual birthday - a lot of bad memories on that day. Instead I celebrate it on a day when my life got significantly better due to a certain thing happening. I haven't come across anyone who minded so far.

Only problem is that I've become so used to celebrating it that day that I once put that date down when I was going to an appointment. They told me the information didn't match so I had to explain (with a beaming red face) that I'd given them the wrong date of birth 😂

I think it’s more common now, my children have been to a few happy half birthday parties for children whose birthdays fall within the Christmas period, it’s your birthday, throw a party whenever you like and enjoy 😊

So do I. Some people on MN are bonkers! I have never had a birthday gift wrapped in Xmas paper ever from anyone. And I am in my fifties!!

Havd you ever been invited to a 30th/40th etc? Was it an awful experience for you?

My friends birthday is in Feb. For a significant one she had a party in July in the garden. Everyone went 😊

I'd personally celebrate a month before or a month after my actual birthday in your position rather than leaving it a full 6 months or so, as I assume you and your guests would feel more celebratory of your milestone birthday if it was celebrated closer to the actual date, but yeah I'd go to your summer party if we were friends!