To ask if a friend's birthday was around Xmas time, would you be willing to celebrate their birthday in the summer instead?

[Appalonia]

My birthday is a few days after Xmas. As many of us on here know, who also have their birthday at this time, it tends to get overlooked. I've come to terms with it, but it still makes me feel a bit sad, and tbh it feels like I don't really have a birthday. I totally understand that Pp are busy, or away, or don't have much money and that it's just one more thing to have to deal with at this time of year.

This year I have a significant birthday coming up and I'm wondering whether I should just have a celebration in the Spring/Summer instead? It feels a bit of a cheek tbh, but if I'd really like to have something that's just for me! I don't want presents, I just want to feel a bit special for one day. If someone invited you to something like this, honestly, how would you feel..?

in my family we mostly have summer birthdays but it ain’t that great you know. My son has his birthday when everyone is on holiday, we plan our holiday around it and my inlaws do too, but other then that it is a very quiet birthday.
My bil has his birthday just before summer holidays start, but somehow it always at the start of the first heatwave and he lives in an apartment…. So people cancel, or go to the beach/pool first and then drop in for half an hour.

Absolutely, and I'd move it permanently to a preferred 'Queen's birthday' date. I'd be happy to celebrate on your date of choice.

Yes I would, I’d look at it like any other party. The only thing I would say, is that I would not change any holiday plans I had as I always have a summer holiday. Having said that, I wouldn’t cancel a holiday for anybody’s birthday!

Luckily my audience are friends who enjoy spending time and celebrating with me. No one in my social circle needs an excuse to throw a party. Thankful that my audience doesn't contain anyone with such deeply weird and joyless beliefs like "birthdays should only be celebrated with family members on the actual date, otherwise I'm not interested".

Birthdays are just random parties though, give or take a cake/hat/people singing Happy Birthday at some point. That's a good thing! For me the point of throwing a birthday party is the party, bringing everyone together to have a good time, more than being the centre of attention for more than a few minutes.

DD was 40 last week.
But her and friends went for a weekend away in October
as that's when they
A) could get together
B) could afford it
C) child care.

On the year of my big birthday I did a number of different celebrations with friends and family over the whole year. Luckily these people like me and are flexible in their thinking and were happy to celebrate with me at a time not right at my birthday.

I'm wondering if some posters here actually even have any friends 🤔

I’d celebrate whenever I was told 😊 I love a party, don’t mind the occasion! If you told me it was a party for your pet snail I’d still come 😂

People often have their party at a different time to their birthday! Of course it’s fine and I would come! There are some really mean-spirited, petty and sad people around; imagine having an issue with this!

I have summer born children because I planned it that way, having a mid-January birthday myself. I was months premature so clearly I do understand that planning doesn't take care of everything and that accidents happen, people struggle with infertility etc but a vast number of these unwanted winter birthdays are the result of poor planning, they have to be. It's mean-spirited but if this was you and your child, frankly you should have thought about that and avoided conceiving in March. Clearly anyone can have a celebration whenever they want so, you know, you do you. But I'm finding this "have it in June" thing mildly irritating. My child's birthday is mid-June and the idea of competing for space etc with people who want a bit more attention because they don't get enough in winter irks me!

Well, my son, sister, and 2 friends all have birthdays on 28th,29th and 30th. Nephew is New years Day. We celebrate on the day, but I would attend a celebration in the summer if I was invited.

I really don't know anyone who's made a fuss of themselves past 18 or so.

That’s sad. Is it a financial thing?
Is it ‘jumping through hoops’ to celebrate a birthday in May as opposed to Dec?
Are you a bit envious?

I am in my fifties and have celebrated every milestone birthday, as have my friends of many years. I have been to birthdays of friends, colleagues and family. I have helped organise 18th and 21sts for my kids. Birthdays can be joyful occasions to celebrate with those you like and love!

I am sorry you have missed out. Though it’s never too late! x

when is your birthday?

OP, in reality it doesn't matter if someone else would/wouldn't. It's a party, you can set the date of a party to any day, it doesn't matter the actual date. How many times does a birthday fall on a Tuesday and the celebration is the following weekend? The celebration doesn't have to be on the day.

You can make the celebration at any point, we had my mums 80th birthday a month later because we couldn't get the venue and hers was overshadowed by a nieces 18th. A celebration ISNT the birthday, you're choosing the date for other reasons, whether that be so you can have an outdoor party - so be it.

My birthday is Jan 2nd. The day everyone goes back to work, does dry January, has no money... pich a date in June, send "save the date" to people and plan a party like no other!

My child's birthday is mid-June and the idea of competing for space etc with people who want a bit more attention because they don't get enough in winter irks me!

My son’s birthday is on 15th June. I would never thinking of someone having a party then as ‘competing’ for space! Why should your child get more attention than a child with a Christmas birthday?!

MN is a whole world of pettiness! So glad it’s not my real life.

I think that’s the crux of it really. And when you read some of these posters’ comments on other threads, you can get an idea why..

Why should they? Because it's their actual birthday! Obviously! And they only get one.

To be fair I do know this is my issue and people can do whatever they like, obviously, it's not really any skin off my nose but I am just being honest.

I imagine you might feel differently if your precious child had a Christmas birthday. None of my kids do, but I get it and I really don’t think it’s unreasonable for a child to celebrate at a later date.

My precious child doesn't though because I actually put some thought into that when having them. (Previously mentioned caveats upthread aside).

I know lots of people whose children have Xmas birthdays and they just go along with that. Same for my mid-January one. It's not ideal but that's how it is.

Clearly people can do what they like but the pseudo-celebration does feel less legitimate, because it is. Also what's wrong with an end of Nov fake celebration or does it have to be the summer "half-birthday", for maximum me-me-me?

My mother in law had a fabulous 70th garden party in the summer as her birthday is just before Christmas. It was fab. Do it!

I had my 50th in spring rather than midwinter as my birthday is notorious for bad weather. Celebrations have often involved dealing with floods, or snowdrifts or high winds. I didn't want to have a massive celebration cancelled due to weather.

So I celebrated the 51st anniversary of my conception as my big party, and yes, everyone came and brought presents etc.

I'd have no issue with this!

A half yearly birthday celebration has always been a thing. The Mad Hatter in Alison in Wonderland talks about it. Lewis Carrol decided to calk it an unbirthday.

People on here seem to see socialising as a chore. Most people in RL like a reason to get together with friends. They wouldn't see it as an issue. I had three birthdays because mine often fell on Mother's day. So I'd then have one with my children and one with my mates.
I've noticed that posters call work colleagues, even quite new ones, friends and I think that's the difference. Proper friends would be up for a half yearly celebration, without thinking twice.

I think the summer might be a bit too far, but why not send invites in late November for a date in late Jan or early Feb. Think about how you phrase it. Say that you really want to celebrate this special birthday with friends, but celebrating on the actual date doesn't suit because of your family commitments over Christmas etc. so you're doing it slightly later.

Pseudo-celebration *Fake celebration’
Oh dear, you do come across as bitter and joyless! You do know that other precious children have November birthdays too that might clash?!