To ask if a friend's birthday was around Xmas time, would you be willing to celebrate their birthday in the summer instead?

[Appalonia]

My birthday is a few days after Xmas. As many of us on here know, who also have their birthday at this time, it tends to get overlooked. I've come to terms with it, but it still makes me feel a bit sad, and tbh it feels like I don't really have a birthday. I totally understand that Pp are busy, or away, or don't have much money and that it's just one more thing to have to deal with at this time of year.

This year I have a significant birthday coming up and I'm wondering whether I should just have a celebration in the Spring/Summer instead? It feels a bit of a cheek tbh, but if I'd really like to have something that's just for me! I don't want presents, I just want to feel a bit special for one day. If someone invited you to something like this, honestly, how would you feel..?

We had a half birthday for DS. He wanted a party that we could only do in summer.
We still had a quiet family party around his actual day but invited his friends for the half 6 months later.

I would think it was a bit ridiculous tbh.

I’d love this - when we were TTC we always said that if said DC had a Christmas birthday we’d celebrate their birthday properly in June each year instead. Can’t believe the inflexibility of people calling it fake or they wouldn’t celebrate, maybe they’re ND and can’t cope with change/wrong dates etc. I can’t think of any rational or logical reason why you wouldn’t support a friend in this way.

My bday is 28th right inbetween xmas and new when let's face e it majority of ppl are off and really no excuse not to be a le to make someone's special bday. I was hoping for my 40th my closest friends woukd make an exception for one yr to celebrate it on the 28th but the usual declines came through.

Tbh I want to celebrate it on my day so I just do my own thing now

In your situation if u don't want to feel let down move it to another day but I still think it's shit if it's one off special bday if ppl can't even make an effort for one time.

A friend of mine used to celebrate their kid's half birthday in the summer (which I understood but thought it a bit indulgent), but as an adult I think it would make more sense to celebrate just a bit late - maybe a month on. January is a dull time of year and not too much after your real birthday?

I'd celebrate whenever my friend wanted to and not really think anything of it tbh.

Do you have a saint’s name, OP? You could use that as your unofficial birthday.

We did that with DS whose birthday is during the Summer holidays but whose saints day is in November. He brought sweets and cake into school, just to be like the others.

Sure, why not. I'd go.

I've been to a 40th that was technically a 41st as their real 40th was mid lockdown. And a family 30th/40th/60th joint party that was somewhere in the middle of the right dates for those 3 people but not exactly right for any of them. Both were the same fun parties that they would have been on the 'right' date.

I also have a friend who celebrates her birthday and her half birthday every year. Is it a bit odd and self indulgent - yes. But she had the childhood of nightmares. Never had a birthday present, never mind a birthday party, until after she'd left home and gone to university. So I don't think it really matters what other people think. It makes her happy and I'm there to support that.

My birthday is NYE. For big birthdays I have tended to do something in Jan as people don’t tend to have plans then and also venues etc are often discounted. I have always loved the idea of a half birthday party instead though. So many more options. For normal birthdays I don’t tend to do anything other than with husband and daughter (we normally go to the Xmas lights) (when younger always went out for NYE though) and it is rubbish but like you OP am used to it/ resigned to it. Edited to add: I’d go for it if I were you and would happily go to a summer party for a winter birthday. Your birthday, your choice.

Would totally celebrate whenever you wanted.
Get planning!

My Birthday is at Christmas, I had a significant one a few years ago. I told my family / close friends, what I was planning to do, the year before .. so they could get it in thier diaries.

We did an overnighter at a Michelin Country House place .. and 26 people came.

With plenty of notice, those people who want to come, will come.

I moved my birthday by 3 months for these reasons 40 years ago and celebrate in spring now. People just go along with it although it does mean I sometimes forget how old I am. Its nice just a bit unusual!!!

If it hasn't already been suggested, why not have a birthday six months after so your celebrating 30.5 / 40.5 or whatever years😄🍾

For a good pal... Of course I'd celebrate whenever they wanted to..

As I love them and want them to have a celebration they'll enjoy!

Nope. I’m a Christmas Day birthday and you can love me enough to work it into your holiday plans or not but I’m not pretending it’s my birthday in the summer. 😅

Same here.

No offense meant but I think birthday celebrations are a family thing. Making people leap through hoops to "celebrate" a perfectly ordinary annual milestone is not to my taste. Doing it six months from the actual date is of even less interest.

I really don't know anyone who's made a fuss of themselves past 18 or so. It's not just December-born who don't have big deals made of their birthday.

Do as you please but know your audience.

Yes, if it must be done, this is more palatable. Acknowledge up front that it's a half-year thing

So weird those people who are saying they wouldn’t! Of course I would - if you were my friend I’d celebrate your birthday whenever you damn well wanted but then I’m not an arse 😄🥰🎄

Great idea!! I would be there for sure!

Some guests might actually prefer it too; at least they're not squeezing yet another event (and cost) into an already busy time of year.

Wow, you sound fun.

I used to work with someone who had an "official birthday" in summer. She said "If it's good enough for the [late] Queen, it's good enough for me. "

I would be on board with this. Celebrate your birthday when you like!

I'm not someone who bothers much with my own birthday so wouldn't do it myself, but surely what matters is what you want to do! It's not like you're asking on behalf of someone else. If you want to celebrate your milestone in the summer then surely people who care about you will show up and enjoy it (like most people who go to a party or meal out etc). And if it makes life easier for them at that time of year then it's a win win.

Equally I would make the effort on your actual birthday though. None of the bday presents wrapped in christmas paper stuff etc.

OP it's probably not the best place to ask this...only on Mumsnet would you get people so miserable that they'd have an issue with it!

My dd has a winter birthday, she wanted a summer party one year so we did that, it was lovely, her friends were very supportive (think she was 14 that year). I think it’s entirely reasonable.