To ask if a friend's birthday was around Xmas time, would you be willing to celebrate their birthday in the summer instead?

[Appalonia]

My birthday is a few days after Xmas. As many of us on here know, who also have their birthday at this time, it tends to get overlooked. I've come to terms with it, but it still makes me feel a bit sad, and tbh it feels like I don't really have a birthday. I totally understand that Pp are busy, or away, or don't have much money and that it's just one more thing to have to deal with at this time of year.

This year I have a significant birthday coming up and I'm wondering whether I should just have a celebration in the Spring/Summer instead? It feels a bit of a cheek tbh, but if I'd really like to have something that's just for me! I don't want presents, I just want to feel a bit special for one day. If someone invited you to something like this, honestly, how would you feel..?

OP, MN is not the place to discuss adult birthday plans. It’s full of people who think that the moment you turn 18, you should never be supported by parents, be entirely self-sufficient, meet a man and have kids, then eschew friendships and a social life, and never dare to celebrate a birthday again!

My last milestone birthday was in lockdown so I had to move it out from January to September. What was interesting was that the ones who I knew probably would have made a last minute excuse in January (skint, tired, kids have stuff on) ALSO made a last minute excuse in September (skint, tired, kids have stuff on) which actually made me realise exactly where I stood in their priorities. Which is, of course, fine.

It's actually made me a bit more militant about having my birthday ON my birthday rather than the other way around, because I now know my real friends will show up whenever.

But in terms of your question, absolutely. Have your celebration whenever you want to have it.

@Appalonia I definitely would. I'd celebrate it whenever my friend wanted to,

I'd go to the opening of a gas bill if it meant a party with people I love. Ignore the moaning fuckers on here. 😄

We use my daughter “name day” which is mid June and was coincidentally my nans birthday too. But we laid celebrate on her birthday which is close to Christmas too

Absolutely! Go for it! Always good to celebrate.

I would celebrate my friends bday whenever they were kind enough to host me! And even better if you'd be able to weed out 'friends' with this attitude op!

CharlieCoCo · Yesterday 22:20

FuriousPoodle · Yesterday 20:42
I wouldn’t go to a fake birthday.

so you would go to one at christmas then, or expect her to never have one?

Of course I would go to a Christmas one! Wouldn't you?

We celebrate my sister’s Christmas birthday every year. It isn’t a shock, it happens every year on the exact same day. It has never been overlooked and never will be.

If people are overlooking Christmas birthdays it’s the people who are a problem. Not the date.

I'd go to the opening of a gas bill if it meant a party with people I love. Ignore the moaning fuckers on here. 😄

😂😂

Me too! Some of us just enjoy going out and being with people while we're still here! Life is too short not to!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · Today 13:09

FuriousPoodle · Yesterday 20:42
I wouldn’t go to a fake birthday.

I would celebrate my friends bday whenever they were kind enough to host me! And even better if you'd be able to weed out 'friends' with this attitude op!

It’s not really relevant if you would celebrate whenever. The ops friends don’t celebrate it which is why she’s posted. People who don’t acknowledge real birthdays are unlikely to acknowledge a pseudo birthday six months later.

Change the friends, not the date.

My friend's little brother was born on Boxing Day and always celebrated in June instead. I can't see an issue.

I think your birthday is your birthday. Mine is in January but not important to me so I don't care if others make a fuss or not.

If you do then ask your friends to 'defer it', but it seems a bit daft to me.

People who don’t acknowledge real birthdays are unlikely to acknowledge a pseudo birthday six months later.

This is a very good point. They won't. You could though give them the same effort that they do for you. If I had a friend with a Christmas birthday I would happily celebrate that with them.

Nobody's saying that, are they? If you have good friends who know that birthdays are important to you then they should celebrate on your birthday, or by arrangement.

I wouldn't, personally.

I have a summer birthday and loads of people are away or forget or just don't bother because it's in the school holidays or they are on holiday or too busy with kids or whatever.

Trust me if people care they'll make the effort no matter when your birthday is

I would definitely go to your summer party whenever your birthday was. If you were a friend it wouldn't bother me. It's a great idea in fact.
I don't get the mean spirited posts either.

This. The date is the date.

If people want to "celebrate" themselves they can do as they please. But don't pretend it's the birthday when it's not.

It would be like inviting people to Easter lunch in October or fireworks night in May. What is the point of the pretense? Just admit you're having a me-me-me party and go for it.

Loads of friendship groups go away to a foreign holiday or cabin break to celebrate big birthdays that are a month or two off the actual date. Usually for better weather/ affordability/ annual leave reasons. I wouldn’t think twice about this. A party a home is a little stranger but as it’s a big birthday it’s easily justified. Do you have to wait until the summer though? Most people are ok for time and money by about February/March

I would send invites just before your birthday for the celebration in the summer, you can have it any time!

I'm a December birthday, but I'm not bothered about having a party etc. If a friend was a December/ new year birthday and wanted to have their celebration in spring / summer I would be happy to be invited 🙂 There are some miserable sods out there who would bitch and moan about their friends.

My friend had her 59 and a half birthday in June and her 60th is tomorrow. Everyone thought it a great idea

My birthday is during the height of summer holidays. So many people are away, but it is what it is.

I'd go to a special birthday but not otherwise, unless it was for a close friend or family member.

I'd accept the invite whenever it was for, but it would feel more meaningful as a birthday celebration if you had it in January.

I think half birthdays are a good thing. So if your real birthday is today, your half birthday is June 26th - a much nicer and easier time to plan a meal or a day or weekend away with friends and loved ones.

My birthday is nowhere near Christmas but I still know when it's my half birthday and like to mark it in some way even if I don't tell anyone about it being my half birthday.

I don't see the issue. I probably wouldn't buy someone presents 6 months later (but would probably gift something at the time if they're close friends or family). I don't see why going out for a meal or going to a party you've organised is a problem even if it's 6 months later.