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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if a friend's birthday was around Xmas time, would you be willing to celebrate their birthday in the summer instead?

227 replies

Appalonia · 25/12/2024 20:38

My birthday is a few days after Xmas. As many of us on here know, who also have their birthday at this time, it tends to get overlooked. I've come to terms with it, but it still makes me feel a bit sad, and tbh it feels like I don't really have a birthday. I totally understand that Pp are busy, or away, or don't have much money and that it's just one more thing to have to deal with at this time of year.

This year I have a significant birthday coming up and I'm wondering whether I should just have a celebration in the Spring/Summer instead? It feels a bit of a cheek tbh, but if I'd really like to have something that's just for me! I don't want presents, I just want to feel a bit special for one day. If someone invited you to something like this, honestly, how would you feel..?

OP posts:
Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles · 25/12/2024 21:59

FuriousPoodle · 25/12/2024 20:42

I wouldn’t go to a fake birthday.

You’re not invited.

Coconutter24 · 25/12/2024 22:07

Appalonia · 25/12/2024 20:56

So what WOULD you do if that was YOUR birthday..?

Show quote history

Today is my birthday and I wouldn’t have a party in the summer for my birthday.
If a friend was to invite me I’d probably just eye roll and attend. I get everyone’s usually having a busy time in December but those who care enough to celebrate with you will find the time to attend a party you host, why have a party 6 months away from your birthday to accommodate those that are to busy for you? That’s why I’ve never done it

TeaDrinker247 · 25/12/2024 22:09

But most people don’t celebrate on their actual birthdays and do it over the weekends. Same for kids in school holidays.
I’d Love to attend a X1/2 birthday!

CandyCane457 · 25/12/2024 22:14

I absolutely would OP! My friends can celebrate their birthday whenever works for them, and I get that a December birthday must be a bit of a pain.

Intrigued by the people saying no. Would you literally be like “sorry no, it’s not your real birthday in August so no.” And then miss out on a fun event? Just on principles sake?

CharlieCoCo · 25/12/2024 22:20

FuriousPoodle · 25/12/2024 20:42

I wouldn’t go to a fake birthday.

so you would go to one at christmas then, or expect her to never have one?

noworklifebalance · 25/12/2024 22:21

I definitely would attend wouldn’t occur to me not to just because of the date.
In fact, I had a party for a significant birthday over 3 months after my actual birthday and it didn’t occur to anyone to not come just because it wasn’t on or near my birthday. I
Happy birthday @Appalonia

Newusername3kidss · 25/12/2024 22:22

Yes definitely! My son is a Christmas baby and until now he’s been ok but now he’s older he’s getting fed up with sharing his birthday with Christmas so we’ve said next year we will have a summer party for him

Deliaskis · 25/12/2024 22:23

One of my uni friends had her birthday in mid-August meaning that we were never at uni for her birthday, so she had a 'half-birthday' in mid-Feb instead.

I'm not much of a party-goer these days, but it wouldn't occur to me to decline an invitation on the basis of it not being on the real birthday date.

Stingstingy · 25/12/2024 22:24

My birthday is between Christmas and new year and I love it! My parents always made sure when I was younger that it wasn’t overlooked and now I’m an adult I love having something to look forward to once the Christmas festivities are over

UnsaltedDough · 25/12/2024 22:25

It absolutely wouldn't be a problem. In fact for many people it might be easier to make time in summer than to squeeze in another celebration in December.

Both my kids are summer born. I wish they weren't because of the school implications but in terms of celebrations and presents it's perfect. I can see why it must suck a bit to have your birthday around Christmas.

Most importantly, it's your celebration. If you want to celebrate how does it matter which date you pick. Your guests just need to check if date and circumstances are convenient but it really doesn't affect anyone whether it's your actual birthday or not.

Bitsrestingface · 25/12/2024 22:26

My birthday is the 1st of Jan. I always celebrate on the 31st Jan now.
It's a self-esteem thing....
I have a birthday that's about me now, not done on a day when people are poor and exhausted and fed up with social gatherings.

ABunchOfBadBitches · 25/12/2024 22:27

FuriousPoodle · 25/12/2024 20:42

I wouldn’t go to a fake birthday.

Same

TravelInsuranceQ · 25/12/2024 22:29

I did exactly this for a big birthday!
Instead of having a party in early January when it's a bit cold & wet, everyone is either broke, on a diet or doing dry January, I had a half-birthday party in the summer and had all my friends and family round and had a garden party.
It was brill and I'm planning to do the same for my next big birthday.

It actually felt like a proper birthday for the first time!

TravelInsuranceQ · 25/12/2024 22:30

FuriousPoodle · 25/12/2024 20:42

I wouldn’t go to a fake birthday.

It's not a fake birthday, it's a delayed celebration.

eightIsNewNine · 25/12/2024 22:31

I don't see any issue. Especially if your friends often use the Christmas time to visit more distant family and just aren't physically around.

shewillbefinestopworrying · 25/12/2024 22:35

Up to a month later maybe but not six months later where I would expect people to
pretend it was my birthday and celebrate. Have never seen anyone do it either but it’s obvious from the thread many do.

Howinthehelldidthishappen · 25/12/2024 22:35

As someone else with a christmas birthday, I would totally do this for a friend.
I know it sounds petty, but i'm gutted I didn't even receive a single card this year.
I get people are busy, I get they're all skint buying presents etc, but a card?
I didn't even get a text or anything off my closest friend.
I wouldn't want anyone else to feel so shit about themselves so would absolutely try to make it special for someone else.

GreenTeaLikesMe · 25/12/2024 22:44

I would go because I like hanging out with friends any time. But the person themselves would need to take responsibility for getting everyone notified and rounded up, I am not good at remembering birthdays let alone half birthdays.

Dinosweetpea · 25/12/2024 22:50

I'd absolutely celebrate it.
My DD has a friend with an Xmas eve birthday, she always has a party in the Summer.

Onlyvisiting · 25/12/2024 22:53

I think I'd think it was a bit odd having it 6 months away, January or February would make sense to me.
I think you are in danger of it not really being treated as a birthday celebration for you but just a random party.
But you could just adopt a summer date and tell everyone you meet from now on tbsat your bday is 6 months later than it really is.

crockofshite · 25/12/2024 22:54

Sounds like a perfect solution.

Happy birthday 🥳 and have a wild party.

HellofromJohnCraven · 25/12/2024 22:55

Yes.
.My best mate has her birthday on 25th December, and her half birthday on 25th June every year.

Rainallnight · 25/12/2024 22:56

I’d definitely come, and I can’t believe some of the rude and miserable people on this thread.

Enko · 25/12/2024 22:57

We cele rated ds birthday in June until he was 7 and asked to just have it on his birthday he was ok with knowing others might not make parties.

Everyone was happy to celebrate his half birthday.

DefyingGravy · 25/12/2024 22:58

Yes. We have a family member with a Christmas Day birthday, and we celebrate an unbirthday in June too (eg an outing just for him).

(And yes that’s for a grown adult).