To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

[Feelingabitsillyatxmas1]

I've name changed anticipating being told I'm "grabby" but I'd like some outsider perspective on whether you think I'm being unreasonable.

New boyfriend. 4 months. Had the exclusive chat and we have both said we have feelings for one another.

It was his birthday last week. I bought him a present. It didn't feel odd to do so, we've spent a lot of time together by this point.

Fast forward to Christmas, I got him a Christmas present. He hasn't got one for me (but has kept me updated about the things he's buying everyone else).

We spent yesterday together and I thought I'd at least leave with a Christmas card if not a box of chocolates or something. Nothing.

I'm feeling a bit stupid for buying things for him now 😔

AIBU (for 1) buying him gifts early on and 2) feeling the way I do now.

Why? He’s ruined her Christmas, she’s posted on MN, he’s caused her sadness, hasn’t acknowledged it at all. Why would she be meeting up for some sale perfume that he probably won’t even have? The damage is done, he’s shown how he will treat her. In the bin.
Op I know you have caught feelings but really hope your head rules your heart this time, you sound lovely and deserve better

This is the honeymoon period. If he doesn't treat you like a queen now he never will

This is sadly materialistic. Romance isn't just about men buying women stuff. I've never ended a relationship because a man has/ hasn't bought me stuff

Have you read the thread? That is not what is going on here.

@2Rebecca

The Op has spent a fortune ! and the bf now knows it !!! as he received his birthday gift days/weeks ago and he would know how much that was worth and he opened his Christmas present and will know it's almost £200

and so far...

the Op has nothing !

The Op at least deserves the perfume that was mentioned !

or the bf does the decent thing and returns his gift explaining that it was far too generous of her and he can't accept it.

People in relationships can usually manage a conversation.

"So... what's the plan for Xmas? Shall we do our celebration on X seeing as we both have family bits? How shall we do presents?" (This could be a discussion of budget or both paying towards a special day out / trip)

Hi op, did you see him today? Did a gift ever materialise?

Well £200 is a lot to lose, but cheap compared to divorce lawyers. At least you found out he's a stingy bugger now OP.

Hope you have a lovely new year.

This isn't about the stuff. If he'd said "I'm not into big gifts, can we just exchange cards and plan a lovely day together?" that might be fine. But he lead the op to believe he was getting her perfume, so she reciprocated, but then he didn't live up to his words.

So I saw him today, he came round for dinner.

No present whatsoever or even a Christmas card.

I had convinced myself that surely he wouldn't come without atleast picking something up en route.

I did mention it, maybe a bit petty of me but I made a comment about the clubcard points being my present. He seemed completely oblivious to why I'd be annoyed.

Please tell me you are getting rid of him? He sounds like a complete prat.

oh ffs ! I was so hoping.
I really did think he would turn up with your perfume !

Did he bring ANYTHING with him? Contribute to the meal at all, a bottle of wine as a bare minimum?

bin him off, he’s not even bothering now, he won’t get better.

I don't think it's petty. You spent £200. He gave you squat. He should have brought something.

Heck, it was dinner at your place, he should've brought wine or dessert or flowers, plus a Christmas gift.

The fact that he has bought presents for those he cares about should tell you everything.

God what an ass. Just so mean. Im sure you very hurt I would be.

So not only did he not bring the promised gift, he ate your food and didn’t even turn up with wine, chocolates, flowers, dessert?

Please don’t see this man again op

He seemed oblivious to why you’d be annoyed? That’s called ‘gaslighting’ my love. Please do your research on gaslighting.

He told you he was going to buy you some perfume. The perfume never materialised and now he’s apparently ‘oblivious’ as to why you’re upset/ annoyed. Nah he’s not oblivious he’s doing it on purpose. It’s a little game he’s playing. He promised you something now seems oblivious to the fact you’re annoyed and making you doubt yourself! See what he’s done he’s twisted it back on you to make it look like he’s done nothing wrong and you’re annoyed for no reason. He knows what he’s doing op. Get rid of him!

It almost seems that he's testing how much shit treatment you'll put up with.

Hope you didn't shag him.

Also he came to yours for dinner? No offer to contribute towards the costs of the food, no wine or anything after using your club card? Like I said op he’s a user. He’s fleecing you for all he can get out of you and can’t even buy you a gift in return. The early red flags are there, don’t ignore them.

Shops are open, worst case he could have got something lovely and pretended he'd been planning it all along. Throw him back OP, this one is crap.

Ew no. Nothing worse than a mean with money person. Bin him off.

If he sent you a picture of the one he wanted, it was a huge hint to get it for him. Please don’t feel embarrassed, he should have felt awful, got an emergency gift from Tesco and had that with him today. The fact he didn’t speaks volumes.

Completely agree.