DH having a rant at me

[Bettib00]

My car was in the garage and my parents' car was in front of the garage so we took my husband's car to go shopping.

My husband's car takes a while to heat up, as it's an older car (15 reg), whilst my car heats up quickly.

Whilst in the car I twice mentioned it was cold and I also expressed concern that the car is probably cold when he drops our children off at school in the morning.

He turned up the heat but I mentioned my feet were still cold. He shook his head and went on a nasty rant about how I have to complain about something every day to him, and he didn't want to listen to me anymore. He proceed to recounted everything I had complained about that was which was a complete exaggeration.

I have hyperthyroidism and a whole host of other problems and I an ND. I was really upset at DH comments. We didn't speak yesterday or today. He will apologise but I don't want to forgive him. He is always belittling me and my feelings.
Shouslnt your husband listen, just listen, without exceptation.

Also saying he should just listen and listen is such a weird comment. And now you’re giving him the silent treatment. You’re not coming across well here op.

Shouslnt your husband listen, just listen, without exceptation.

Fuck no. I’d have opened the door and told you get out and walk. That’ll heat your tootsies up nicely. 😂

I think the DC would cope. Presumably they have coats on? If they walked to school would you want the weather to turn the temperature up?

I could imagine it being annoying and would get on my nerves if I had to listen to you complaining about stuff like that. What do you want him to do about a cold car? Miraculously make it heat up fast? I think you need to stop complaining about external things that are out of his control. And the kids won't die if they sit in a chill car.

You have a massive communication gulf here. And quite A lot of the problem is down to you. Not speaking to your partner for days and refusing to accept an apology (which it sounds to me like he has to do regularly to keep the peace and break the silence) is really horrible behaviour OP. I was on the receiving end of behaviour like that from my exH. It’s a miserable way to live.

YABU. Stop complaining. You will be happier, as will everyone around you.

Cars are cold on a winter morning so you moaning that he is somehow mistreating the kids by ferrying them to school in a cold car is completely unnecessary. You should probably stfu

We live in the UK, it gets cold. Temporary cold doesn't do children any harm (medical issues asides). It's actually healthier that children get acclimatised to were they are growing up. He couldn't get the car to heat up any faster, you don't have to verbalise every thought/feeling. Dress for the weather/have a blanket and don't rely on artificial heat.

I’m always cold but reading your post, even in your version you went on about it. Wear more layers. We have a 2014 car and it’s fine. Doesn’t have the heated seats of the newer car but does the job. You sound annoying.

YABU

You know the car is cold.
You know you feel the cold more because of a health conditions
So why didnt you take responsibility and take a blanket or extra coat to put over your legs?

Your are an adult. He did what was in his power to do. I had to listen to another adult moan about things they could fix I'd be annoyed too

"We didn't speak yesterday or today. He will apologise but I don't want to forgive him."
You are emotionally abusive. If he posted on here, he'd be told to start to make plans to leave.

You know the car takes a while to heat up OP. Why on earth moan about it? You're moaning for no reason, what do you expect him to do?

Seriously dude, just stop.

I wasn't. I commenting on how cold it was; how is this belittling him?

I know what the OP means, I too have thyroid issues and other auto immune stuff going on and once I get cold it’s awful, trying to get warm again and it makes me feel so poorly and sore.
i think perhaps she just wanted acknowledgment that she is struggling and was feeling the cold - of course she knew he was doing what he could, I think she just wanted a bit of sympathy and support.

You sound like a real drama queen - no wonder he was annoyed. No one wants to listen to someone constantly moaning.🙄

As far as the children go, they can walk to school to warm up but being in a cold cr briefly will wake them up and not d any damage. Again you are an adult so if you thought they might be cold why not but two cheap fleece blankets to have in the back of the car? You are capable of doing things alone.

Being around someone who constantly complains, especially over really minor things, is so emotionally draining. Instead of sulking over this, why don’t you try and consider how HE feels? He’s obviously trying to tell you something, you don’t seem to care.
Also, it won’t kill your kids to be in a cold car in a journey to school. How do you think kids who walk to school
cope for gods sake?

What was the point of posting @Bettib00 ? You clearly don’t want to listen.

you probably moan way more than you think you do. I mean, everyone likes a little whinge every now and again. What we don’t all do is moan constantly about things that can’t be changed. I might have said “blimey it’s parky this morning isn’t it?” and that Would be that.

Nope, you sound draining, going on and on about something he has no control over, poor bloke.

You said it once... no need to say it again and again.

But she also complained about the children potentially being cold. So unless they all have thyroid issues too, that’s not seeking sympathy and support

I have hypothyroidism for which I take thyroxine. Are you appropriately managed for yours, because if you are, you shouldn't be feeling the cold any more than someone without hypothroidism.
I also put on lots of layers if I think it's going to be overly cold.
As for old car heater - how many times do you mention this when in Dh's car? He knows it's old. He knows the heater takes a while to rev up. Perhaps give him a break?

What was the point of posting ? You clearly don’t want to listen.

Pretty obvious, innit? She can’t moan at him ‘cos she’s not talking to him (bet there’s plenty of PA eye-rolling and tutting going on though). So she’s come on here to moan about him.

Will probably start a new thread moaning about the Vipers of Mumsnet™️ shortly.

What can he do about the cold on a cold winters day other than put the heat up in the car.

You were moaning and being impatient, repeatedly, about something he can’t help. What good would him ‘just listening’ do? He can’t change the weather.

If it’s that much of an issue you should have moved the cars around so you could take yours.