Silent treatment for Christmas… again

[StyleSiren]

I wasn't enthusiastic about the film DH wanted to watch yesterday evening so he hasn't spoken to me for over 24 hours. Tonight he went into the kitchen and made his own dinner and ate it in the kitchen, then went up to his study. Childishly I retaliated by switching off all the Christmas lights but I am now sitting here crying and steeling myself for another Christmas day in Coventry! I refuse to apologize and I know eventually (after a few days, weeks, months) he will just start behaving as if nothing happened. WWYD in this situation? I don't have family I can go to for Christmas and I don't think any of my friends would appreciate a last minute visitor. I am tempted not to bother putting any of his gifts under the Christmas tree and to go out instead for a long walk and pub lunch (if I can get in anywhere).

Ditto. Absolutely no question!

@StyleSiren please go for the walk/pub/fuck his presents. Silent treatment HIS arse too.

then, resolve to give yourself the BEST Christmas gift ever, the gift of being free of him.

make this your one goal and get it done. I promise you, you won’t look back.

never EVER spend a single second with someone like this again.

stonewalling IS one of the cruelest things you can do to someone

so try it out on him, don’t engage with him, please yourself, put the radio on or headphones and chill. Make your own food and pretend like HE doesn’t exist

it’s good practice for when you’ve got rid of him.

You can’t negotiate with a stonewaller, this is what they want, to have you begging for a conversation, it is what they get off on, the power of denying you a rational way of resolving problems

the best way IS to show them that you don’t care at all, and carry on without them.

no mention of violence or anything so @StyleSiren should just do her own thing and ignore the fucker right back.

'he hasn't spoken to me for over 24 hours.'

The relationship is over. He's pathetic. I can't even big in to imagine a grown man acting that way.

Please make 2025 the year for you when you can set yourself free from the shackles of this truly awful relationship and be rid of this immature oaf.

Just make this the last one with him.

Ignore him right back.

No presents.

Not a word.

Get your ducks in a row.

Men like this get worse not better

This!

My FIL has got worse over time. Furthermore his previously private sulks have now escalated to open contempt of MIL. Over the last 10 years the silent treatment has become the norm and the days he doesn't sulk have become the rarity. I think he actually hates her.

Please, please don't become my lovely MIL. The only person who can change him is him. Leave (and mean it!) Maybe he'll plead with you and go to therapy and discover why he does this and change and you can be together again. Maybe he won't and you'll be free of his moods.

Good advice

Sulking is childish and manipulative. Ignore it. Bright and breezy. Pretend you don't care (fake it til you make it)

And, think if you want the rest of your life to be like this

My ex did this to me many many times in our 9 year marriage, eventually I left with two kids and two suitcases. You don't have to live like this.

If you were my friend and contacted me today,I would immediately invite you for Christmas day, no hesitation whatsoever. Always room at the table for a friend in trouble.

This is horrible as a teenager i lived in a house where no one spoke to me for months just ignored my existence so I know how unbearable it is. Please leave you deserve so much better. If you have time off over the festive period I'd be tempted to see if I could book a last min deal abroad!

What bloody film was it??

Ask him what his problem is, tell him you are not spending Christmas like this.

Leave him. Why choose this life?

I lived with a stonewaller for 6 years and there is no doing anything about it. The best thing I did was leave him. I'm sorry you are going through that. Try to do something that makes you happy at Xmas that doesn't involve him.

Abusive behaviour IMHO, no one should live like this. Take time to make a plan to end this relationship.

Please tell a friend in real life. Get support to leave. He's an asshole and you deserve better.

I would be so upset if any of my friends suffered this and spent Christmas alone. Please tell someone, i would absolutely have you for Christmas if you were my friend.

Start the new year better; leave the fucker. He’s an abusive arsehole.

This is not OK. First thing contact a friend who you trust and can go to on Christmas day. Then go up and tell him that his behaviour is abusive and unacceptable and that you won't be spending Christmas day with him because of it (over a film, I mean come on!!). Then afterwards you need to have a long hard think about staying with this moron. Life is too short to waste on someone who treats you like this. Good luck.

I few years ago I found out my friend had sat in her car on Boxing Day because of a blazing row with her (thankfully) now ex husband. Me and our other close friend were so upset she hadn’t come round to either of us for fear of imposing. I wouldn’t have cared at all. What’s one extra person at Christmas? Please don’t spend Christmas alone. And spend the new year thinking about how you can get away from this man.

Exactly this - put more eloquently than I can write!

Please read this very carefully @StyleSiren this is exactly what silent treatment / stonewalling is designed to do. It is a deliberate abusive and controlling action.

If you were any friend/aqaintence/colleague of mine and you sent me a text saying that your husband was stonewalling you and you were upset and needed some time away……. I would make up the spare bed for you and tell you to come at once for Christmas and Boxing Day. Please please reach out to those closest to you. Pack a bag and walk out. Leave that miserable sulking fucker home alone for Christmas. Or see if you can find a travelodge with a room free. Leave him to wallow.

Sorry to hear that, I jay want to add that silent treatment it's actually a form of psychological abuse. You can read on this here in more detail
psychcentral.com/health/the-silent-treatment
I recommend looking more into this. Try to get through Christmas

I want to echo that I would happily have a friend for Christmas. You still have time today to make an alternative plan and even grab a food contribution to take somewhere- ask a few friends if you're not sure ("does anyone have room at their table").

And leave him, leave him asap as this is awful.

No she doesn’t. Your post is though.

Leave him. Sulkers do this whenever there's an occasion looming that isn't all about them. Life's too short.

Even if l didn't have room for you, l would make room and would be really upset if you hadn't reached out to me.

Try and get out for the day/ ideally night as well. I bet you’ll be surprised by the difference in how you feel. It must be incredibly stressful living like this- can you make plans to leave permanently?