Silent treatment for Christmas… again

[StyleSiren]

I wasn't enthusiastic about the film DH wanted to watch yesterday evening so he hasn't spoken to me for over 24 hours. Tonight he went into the kitchen and made his own dinner and ate it in the kitchen, then went up to his study. Childishly I retaliated by switching off all the Christmas lights but I am now sitting here crying and steeling myself for another Christmas day in Coventry! I refuse to apologize and I know eventually (after a few days, weeks, months) he will just start behaving as if nothing happened. WWYD in this situation? I don't have family I can go to for Christmas and I don't think any of my friends would appreciate a last minute visitor. I am tempted not to bother putting any of his gifts under the Christmas tree and to go out instead for a long walk and pub lunch (if I can get in anywhere).

That particular poster might have thought it takes two tango. No one on here knows what the op is like. If the op didn't want to watch all she has to do is say something. In my relationship I like watching horror my partner hates horror. He likes watching football and I can't stand watching the game. We tell eachother that. Maybe he wanted his missus to watch a film with him and spend a bit of time together. Op fucked it up so he sulked not hard to work out.

This time of year is a challenge for relationships and families. What is meant to be a time for family it's spent watching the pennies and buying presents for the children and other loved ones. It's an expensive and stressful time of year. Maybe you and your family should eat out next year it changed everything for us less stress and more togetherness.

I asked my partner what he would do if they behaved like the ops husband. He would smash up the telly. Hes never done that before how would he watch football 😂

How is this not the exact same situation as the other thread where the OP is getting oodles of love and support?

Just curious?

The op only posted one post a bit difficult to guage what they are generally like together. This time of year is tough on a lot of families. It could be money worries and he is the main worker in the house. All op had to do was suck it up and watch it. I've watched football game with my partner and he has watched a couple of horrors with me even though they are devil films. Did she make him feel bad. Sometimes a bit of self reflection helps and he does need to grow out of the sulking and learn to use his words. I hope they do work it out and if they are not compatible then the best thing to do is part ways.

What is keeping you with this man? If no kids and this is more than once in a several year behaviour (and no mitigating circumstances such as he is going through some sort of crisis or life struggle) then perhaps take this period of silence to plan the end of the relationship.

How are things @StyleSiren ?

How exactly do you sit down and talk to someone who is giving you the silent treatment and behaving like an irrational child? In fact, if my child was purposely doing ,this I would not pay them any attention and get on with things. Because they want attention, that's why they do it, attention, control and punishment. Don't give them it!

Because his marriage is on the line and he’s not a child.

A narcissist will only talk when they want to gaslight you into thinking this was your fault then try to appease you until you come round to their way of thinking and expect you to apologise.Their behaviour will change to being the nice loving person they want you to think they are once they have achieved this then you self doubt yourself and gladly give in just to have peace in the relationship. You then go round in circles until the next time they kick off all the while your self confidence is slowly taken away and your mental well being starts to suffer.If this is a regular pattern that he treats you with you should leave ASAP.He has no respect for you other than to control and coerce you into the way he wants you to be.The fact you have wrote into this forum speaks volumes and tells me you already know this is not normal behaviour so please listen to your instinct and get out now before it's too late.

Somone mentioned above how their sulker had a strange relationship with his mother.
Mine was a sulker and I thought his use of this manipulative behaviour arose from childhood, his own mother never listetened or took her children into account, I think it was his way of trying to obtain some power in his childhood.
The best thing was she never noticed, never realised he stopped talking or was sulking. He was so neglected and ignored the sulking never affected her, she was oblivious, she just though he was a good, quiet child.

I would not have allowed my own children to ever use this means of communication to resolve conflict, it would have been stamped out and issues would have been talked through instead of ignoring their feelings.

Mother's and fathers have alot to do with a male or female who grows up and uses sulking and stonewalling as a continuous form of control.

Thought of the day.
Sulking is a torturous means of control when adults use it.