Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

Cheese to men on Earth.

Now that doesn't even make sense!!

I think I’d feel the need for it before noon in his shoes…

OMG I find this extremely annoying. It reminds me of growing up in my poor Eastern European home country, where any good stuff was something not to touch - "NOOOO, LEAVE IT, ITS FOR NEW YEAR (we did not have Christmas, it was New Year instead)!!!" And on the day, eating so much you feel comatose.

Today, I have whatever I fancy all the way though the holidays (within reason, so I still have something left for the actual big day).

Its supposed to be a Holiday Season, not just one day/ one dinner. Let your poor DH enjoy himself, especially if this is not something you can afford usually.

I'm trying to make a joke about "peace to men on Earth" but you're right, it doesn't really work. Edam it.

You tried, I Camembert it.

This exactly how I feel about it. Far more eloquently put than I could have managed.

I can't deal with "saving" food for a particular reason. I mean yeah that mince is for bolognese etc I can cope with but not having enough food in the house or having it but not being able to eat it at will makes me squirm.

I feel that I am capable of knowing what, how much and when I can eat something without it being kept from me.

Also you say a chunk of cheese and one drink etc so there sounds to still be plenty for your planned meal?

For goodness sake he's an adult. Your reaction seems quite extreme.

I'm sure he'll enjoy them just as much whichever days he eats/drinks them on.

Your rules seem overly restrictive. In our home the Christmas food is fair game once the kids break up from school.

Why limit yourself to one day of "nice things"?

It's a running joke in our house that Easter Eggs we'd buy the kids never made until Easter without having to be replaced cos my wife and I scoffed them. I think our record was 6 replacements. We always replaced them with the egg each kid wanted, so they didn't go without their choice.

Was that greedy? Probably. Do we GAF? No. We're adults, who work hard, provide for our family, sacrifice much for our kids' benefit, and occasionally get tempted by chocolate we can easily replace.

Same with advent calendars, one particularly stressful November week, my wife and I shared them all, watched some films and ordered replacements off Amazon!

This delayed gratification BS can get in the sea, cheese, chocolate, whatever, won't taste nicer cos you wait until some arbitrary date and time, you'll just feel some self-defined sense of achievement that "you've done it right".

As adults, parents, workers, we delay our own enjoyment all the time for the benefit of others, for good reasons, but why the hell should we when we don't have to?

Wow that's now about 3 posts you've made about weight on this thread, are you ok? 😂

I just ate a babybell out of the fridge and thought of this thread 😁
Merry Christmas one and all! 🎄🧀🥂

What about SOCIETY???

Have you had a thought about why you believe what you want should supersede what he wants? If you want to delay gratification that’s absolutely fine, but he’s an adult and presumably contributing towards the food. You’re not his mum

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink.

This stood out for me. “HIS expensive drink” - not “my favourite wine” or “the lovely drink I was so looking forward to sharing with him” - but something the OP herself says was for her partner rather than her or both of them. She STILL wants to control when he consumes it. That shows it’s not about the cost or time of replacing something, but making sure things are done her way or no way.

It's just the cult drumming up business for the codes.

Being 'disgusted' is taking it a bit far. It's annoying but not exactly disgusting.
A good proportion of Christmas goodies we buy is always started well before Christmas and ends up being replaced. I guess if money is a problem, it's a bigger issue.

I think in OP's case there's a bit of cultural difference as to whether the advent period is a time for holding back before the big day, or whether it's part of the celebration. Either is fine but it helps if you're on the same page in your family.

Yes this also rang alarm bells for me. I wouldn’t even notice if DH drank all of the alcohol he's bought for himself for Christmas in advance, because it's not "my" drink so why would I even care 🤷‍♀️😂

’There is a wider point here - which this thread has highlighted for me.
It seems almost no-one waits for Christmas day anymore.
What does that say about us as a society?’

this has to be a mumsnet gold😂😂. Society is falling apart because people scrawl out the cheese board on the 17th December😂😂

I started on the Christmas cheese about 3 days ago tbh

You can't tell another adult when they can and can't eat food (which they are going to replace so it doesn't impact you) in their own home.

I also can't see why you're arsed - it's cheese. This 'must have perfect Christmas' mindset some people have always baffles me. It's one day and will all be over in 48 hours. Unclench!

Have a look at your own language:

Disgusted
Inability
I've just found out
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day.
DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change
I am disgusted
he is like a five-year-old with no self control.
Destroying
The rage ...

Wow, OP. Are you always such an enraged powder keg labelled 'THE RULES FOR HAVING FUN'? Do you wear a policewoman's outfit and put an alarm on the fridge?

The bit about 'in my family' was telling.
Guess what, he came from his family. Where there were probably different and equally valid and a lot nicer ways of doing things.

And Tis the SEASON to be jolly, the twelve days of Christmas. Not a prescribed 24 hour window.

Your poor husband is feeling festive and enjoying the treats. Lighten up, get into the spirit of it and have and allow a bit of fun.

I was brought up a catholic too - one of five kids - and I suspect a lot of who you are now is driven by the catholic ideals of the past despite you not practising now.

You can be tied to your background or you can forge a life as an independent adult. I was brought up in a strict Catholic background and part of a big family. I do not live by those strictures now, and certainly don't impose them on my DH.

I'm disgusted. You're disgusting.

I had a mince pie with clotted cream for breakfast.

Disgusting.

wait what time is it? It could be perfectly ok, depending on your time zone. Apologies.

No-one waits for Christmas day anymore??

Newsflash - the UK has NEVER waited for Christmas day!

This is a fascinating read. I think OPs husband is more National Trust than OP is.

https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/discover/history/christmas-traditions-from-history