Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

@KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge Are you related to Jacob Rees Mogg.
This sounds like something he might come out with.
Catholicism has A LOT to answer for. Imo none of it good.
Merry xmas all I hope you've broken into the cheese, wine and sweets. Life is for living it ain't a dress rehearsal.

I'm with you. My OH knew not to get into the bits I'd been buying and getting ready. That said, I did hide a nice cheese in the veg bin to be sure! He's known to scavenge the nice things years past and knows it annoys me.

His job that last few days before the big shop was to eat leftovers and random things so I can have space in the fridge. I did my shop late this year because we are on a tight budget and I didn't want to be pilfered.

That said, most years we do usually have two ports this time of year- one in the lead up and one saved for the actual holidays.

MN always want to be peak cool girl but frankly it's annoying when you do an expensive shop for an occasion and someone gets in the dips.

I didn't want to be pilfered.

So you paid for all the Christmas food yourself and he didn’t contribute a penny? I’ve just watched my son demolish three mince pies with ice cream, it made me very happy to see him enjoying it.

Imo the person who does all the planning, shopping and purchasing can indeed tell those in the household what to eat and when, regarding items purchased for a special occasion.

The thing is, @thestudio - the Christmas season starts on Christmas Day for you - it can and does start earlier for other people. You aren’t wrong, but neither are they.

And people who start on the treats before Christmas have delayed their gratification - just not to your choice of date.

No, but I bet she's the one budgeting, planning and purchasing the special treats. The mental load, which he has totally disregarded.

If he were fully in charge of supplying Christmas and making sure the larder were full, I doubt this would be an issue. Something tells me he wasn't at the shops first thing this morning replenishing the treats.

We really have no idea if they did the shop together however given he’s happy to replace it it really doesn’t matter. OP has decided no one in the house gets nice food before Christmas and finds it DISGUSTING that her DH can’t wait. It’s not her call if the man wants to eat some cheese two days before Christmas

It's the Christmas season, this is how he likes to enjoy it. Stop being the Grinch and let him do it his way. 'Disgusted?' Totally over the top.

It's the Christmas season, this is how he likes to enjoy it. Stop being the Grinch and let him do it his way. 'Disgusted?' Totally over the top.

I'm really surprised MN is permitting the barrage of personal insults toward the OP in this thread. Assaulting her character, not just her opinion. Those of you doing so should take a good hard look at yourselves.

It's possible to disagree with her approach to Christmas treats without cruel insults.

MN always want to be peak cool girl but frankly it's annoying when you do an expensive shop for an occasion and someone gets in the dips.

What on earth is 'cool girl' about any of this scenario? I totally understand budgets - and hiding delectable nibbles out of the way - but the situation you describe in your house isn't the same as OP's where things can be replaced and her husband has said he will do that.

The OP has had comments back because of the controlling. For many of us that's not tolerable. I wouldn't put up with it and I wouldn't do that to my husband. We all have quirks but when they result in name-calling and loss of respect it's just too much.

Not aimed at you but that 'cool girl' trope can get in the bin though, it's' pathetic and really tired now.

We know he bought his drink. OP says so.

I just had a quick reread and I don't see anywhere where she's complaining about money or planning and purchasing. None of that seems to be a concern. It's all about the moral value she attaches to delayed gratification. Something something better life outcomes, something something Catholic, something something birthdays, something something SOCIETY.

Whatever. Praise Cheesus.

This is at least the second time in this thread you've just wildly invented and speculated the scenario. First it was swigging from the wine bottle, now it's that he didn't buy the food (did he pay for it though, I wonder).

Why are you so invested in making shit up that the OP didn't mention?

And how much planning is there even to do for cheese? Buy cheese. Eat cheese. Repeat ad infinitum, hopefully.

This is all so po-faced and cardigan done up to the neck; “waste not want not”, “a place for everything and everything in its place”; only buy easycare clothes in grey or brown because they don’t show the dirt… it’s Christmas, live a little!

Gently, OP, maybe he would feel more enthusiastic about sharing these moments with you if you unclench a little.

You come across as very controlling, which isn't fun for anyone.

We ate 3 packs of toffifee between the 5 of us. For breakfast.

DS1 has gone down to Poundland to get more as I type.

TBH I think it is possibly true that the destruction of the civilised world as we know it has started at my house.

Not aimed at you but that 'cool girl' trope can get in the bin though, it's' pathetic and really tired now.

Amen! In my experience it’s only ever used by very uptight and controlling people desperately trying to pretend their way is the right way, and that anyone who thinks otherwise is pretending in order to impress.

Yes, and it's designed to invalidate other women by telling us our opinions, lifestyles and personalities aren't real - we're just pretending to appeal to men. Real women are controlling, jealous and paranoid!

All this thread has done is tempt me to eat lots of cheese!

It is true that I always gain weight over Christmas tipping me from normal to also normal but higher than I would like.

I'm pretty sure once my training picks up again for my 2x half marathons, 1 marathon and 1 20 mile race plus resuming walking the kids to school, being at work and the gym I'll lose what I've gained and more providing I don't treat every day like the Christmas period.

I love Christmas because of all the nice food that I indulge in (and I definitely over indulge) but I work so hard most of the year that I have room to gain weight without being overweight.

OP's husband eating some cheese on the 23rd instead of or as well as the 25th is not going to turn him into some glutton who can't stop stuffing his face unless he's already like that in which case eating cheese on the 23rd isn't the issue either.

I think the OP is throwing some pretty personal insults towards her DP, tbf. Calling him disgusting because he chooses to eat some cheese or drink his 'special' drink is just OTT.

We've all seen examples of behaviour that 'disgusts' on MN. This is not it. I'd have more sympathy is she said it was annoyiing because she wanted them to enjoy it together as part of a special time. I'd get that, though I don't think I could be bothered to post about it, but 'disgusted'? Come on!

Really?

It's already Christmas.

Do you only watch Christmas films on the 25th or only have your tree lit up then too?

We've already visited family, been to a carol service, wrapped and given many gifts.

If it was the 3rd of December then I'd maybe see your point. But the 23rd?

Is Christmas only allowed to be on the 25th?

This is a fair point, it's true I've no idea whether or not people have been deferring gratification already as it were, just starting from an earlier date. Esp since Christmas marketing starts much earlier now than even a decade ago.

Yes i had yule log and clotted cream for breakfast the other day