Would your children prefer it if you didn't work?

[DonaldGumbo]

this is not a benefit bashing thread

As I am rushing around, trying to do two more days at work, buy last minute presents, food shop, tidy the house for guests etc, a thought came to me.
I know a couple. Neither work due to various reasons. They have a very different life to me (they hardly do anything which costs any money). They have one child. Don't drive.
Their Christmas looks so chilled. No rushing. No big events. No trying to get to shops or carol services or ice skating. Just time with each other. No stressed mum barking at them.
Which made me think? If we asked our DC's would they choose their current way of life or more time with both parents? Imagine having both mum and dad pick you up and what a lovely relationship you could have with your children to both see them every day from half past three with no distractions. Would it be better for their mental health? Would it mean less relationship breakdown?
I am a single parent so this life would be very hard for me to achieve; but I think if I asked my kids would you give up our house, holidays, extracurricular activities, toys, devices, subscriptions etc to have me there every day and be less distracted, they would say yes!
I know I could cut my hours but it's not the same. My work is relentless and I'd end up doing it anyway and not getting paid.

Apart from missing you these examples aren’t great. Not get the school bus ? I had the best fun in school buses when I was a kid !

Sort of. They always comment about friends houses that are really tidy and clean. But they acknowledge that having a lone parent working PT and one DC with SEN makes it impossible to be on top of it all.
DS won't have friends round due to the state of the house which does make me sad. I just don't have the time and money to repair and tidy it all though.

Their Christmas looks so chilled. No rushing. No big events. No trying to get to shops or carol services or ice skating. Just time with each other.
That's nothing to do with not working though. No one has to do any of those things. I didn't with my kids. We just spent every Christmas at home altogether.

My children would probably prefer it if I didn’t work and they didn’t have to stay at school late / do holiday clubs etc. But only if we somehow had the same amount of money as they like their holidays / nice things more than early finishes (we’ve discussed it as they’re not tiny)

In theory my primary school age DC would love it if I didn't work, as I'm a single parent working full-time. They want me to be able to walk them to school every day and pick them up every day, which I'm not able to do, though I make sure to attend all other school events.

I have a well-paid exec job, so own a decent size house in a nice area, employ a Nanny to help with my DC and housework. My DC do lots of activities like football, swimming, martial arts etc, and there's always food in the fridge and cupboards. We go on holiday every couple of years and I drive a 3 year old car bought outright (it's not a fancy one!).

If I didn't work we'd have to move to a smaller home, probably a flat, DC of opposite sex would most likely have to share a room. as I wouldn't be able to afford larger. All extra-curricular activities would stop immediately, and we'd never go on holiday.

DC don't see what will happen if I really did give up work because the life I have given them is all they've ever known (split with my ex when they were at nursery). I hope they'll be thankful for all the opportunities they were afforded throughout their childhood because I worked.

In a few months both you and the kids would be 100% bored.

I'm a single parent.

I was signed off sick for a couple weeks meaning I was home and able to keep up with house and cooking etc more easily. My 15yo seemed to really like it and we had a lot more conversations as I was there when she got in before she got to her bedroom! Usually I miss that bit as she gers home first when I'm working.

I think my children would have liked me to be home more but as a single parent I didn't have that option.

Me too. Mum went to work when younger brother started secondary school. Saved her sanity.