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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Tell SIL To Stop Claiming Things?

761 replies

Addyview · 23/12/2024 04:03

I've been with DH a very long time and we have a child together, I get on well with his brother but his brothers wife is another story. She's nice enough most of the time but makes a lot of situations very awkward because of how tight she is. Whenever she comes round if I offer her something to eat she says things like "Yes, can you also wrap some up for me to take home" no matter what it is! There's a million examples I can give but she basically won't pay for anything and is always on the scrounge.
My husbands brother earns a lot of money and so does his wife so its not like they ever struggle, BIL says its just who she is and does try to stop her.
Anyway on Christmas they're coming for dinner but last year was so uncomfortable because she basically laid claim to everything she saw. Every present she saw me open she was asking if she could have it if I didn't like it or when I was fed up of it, she was pointing at things on the dinner table saying she'd take the leftovers home and telling other guests to not eat it all! It really got on my nerves by the end of the day.
She's coming this year and me and DH are both in agreement that we need to say she can't behave like that because it makes everyone else awkward but BIL has asked us to leave it alone and just ignore her because she gets embarrassed. I'm half tempted to just cancel BIL and his wife altogether if I'm honest.
I'm several years into this womans impolite behaviour and it's casting a bit of a dark cloud over Christmas because I'm dreading her making everyone else feel uncomfortable when she starts! So to me my two options are ring her in the morning and tell her to not behave that way or uninvite them both and tell BIL why. I simply cannot have another Christmas day like last years.

OP posts:
Jsmck · 13/01/2025 16:57

I just want to know what happened !! No actually I NEED to know…. PLEASE !!! 🙏

Jinkslinger · 14/01/2025 10:03

And I have realised I can remember the names of half the characters, the clothes shop- Peripllus? And the yacht Barracuda

FestiveFruitloop · 14/01/2025 10:17

Hoppinggreen · 13/01/2025 13:35

The theme tune for Howards way is now stuck in my head, I think some soap star or similar released a version with lyrics called "Always There". It went
"AAAAAlwyas there, your love is aaaalways there da da da da da da da da da de daaaaaaaaa"
Why can I remember that but not where I out my glasses 10 minutes ago?

I'm the same 😄

It was Marti Webb btw. 🙂

SerafinasGoose · 15/01/2025 12:44

Jinkslinger · 14/01/2025 10:03

And I have realised I can remember the names of half the characters, the clothes shop- Peripllus? And the yacht Barracuda

Periplus? Kinell.

Perimenopausal women who tend toward the larger-sized? Inspired name or what! 😂😂

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 15/01/2025 16:03

This thread is careering all over the place, but coming back to the original point... There's no need to discuss this habit with SIS or anyone else before seeing her, or cause embarrassment by 'calling her out'. Just keep saying No to each unreasonable demand. No, everyone is welcome to eat as much as they like; here, let me give you more (to the other guests, during the meal). No, there's enough to make another meal out of this tomorrow so there will be no spare leftovers to take home (to SIL, at the end). No, I like all my presents and I'm going to keep them. They are for me, after all, and I don't want to offend anyone by giving them away'. Etc.

Noodlehen · 17/01/2025 16:13

I wonder did SIL claim her phone

Cismyfatarse · 17/01/2025 20:40

Does anyone think SiL has claimed the OP and taken her home and withdrawn internet access before putting her in the useful things drawer?

CrowleyKitten · 17/01/2025 21:22

SerafinasGoose · 13/01/2025 09:51

It's funny you should say this about fan fic and Thomas. I was doing a bit of reading into Thomas Andrews, the designer of Titanic - who, it's come to light, has some interesting links with an author I am researching. One of the things that came up was a whole canon of smutty, semi-pornographic fan fic about him. Ofc I fell down the rabbit hole and spent about 3 hours reading on my device, agog. It was mostly terrible!-but somehow compelling.

The mention of Eldorado lifted my day! It was so excruciatingly bad it was hilarious and I wouldn't have missed it for worlds. Speaking of which, I'm old enough to remember another notoriously awful old BBC soap Triangle, about all the drama, glamour and titillation of ...... a North Sea ferry. Cue lots of footage of a ship sailing into dock. The excitement!

They axed it because of the relentless ridicule by reviewers, but its malign influence didn't end there because it spawned a second abysmal sea-faring 80s soap called Howards Way - about a set of yachting businesses on the south coast. Whoever thought a lengthy spiel about board meetings and shares would make for an endlessly fascinating drama?

Me neither 😂

fanfic CAN be very well written, but some of it is terrible. I've read plenty of both.
I like to hope that what I've written is more towards the former than the latter.
but yes, it can be a right rabbit hole. as my wall of A03 tabs indicates all too clearly 😆

FestiveFruitloop · 18/01/2025 19:01

Cismyfatarse · 17/01/2025 20:40

Does anyone think SiL has claimed the OP and taken her home and withdrawn internet access before putting her in the useful things drawer?

😂😂😂

Gambino1726 · 20/04/2026 23:52

Addyview · 23/12/2024 04:03

I've been with DH a very long time and we have a child together, I get on well with his brother but his brothers wife is another story. She's nice enough most of the time but makes a lot of situations very awkward because of how tight she is. Whenever she comes round if I offer her something to eat she says things like "Yes, can you also wrap some up for me to take home" no matter what it is! There's a million examples I can give but she basically won't pay for anything and is always on the scrounge.
My husbands brother earns a lot of money and so does his wife so its not like they ever struggle, BIL says its just who she is and does try to stop her.
Anyway on Christmas they're coming for dinner but last year was so uncomfortable because she basically laid claim to everything she saw. Every present she saw me open she was asking if she could have it if I didn't like it or when I was fed up of it, she was pointing at things on the dinner table saying she'd take the leftovers home and telling other guests to not eat it all! It really got on my nerves by the end of the day.
She's coming this year and me and DH are both in agreement that we need to say she can't behave like that because it makes everyone else awkward but BIL has asked us to leave it alone and just ignore her because she gets embarrassed. I'm half tempted to just cancel BIL and his wife altogether if I'm honest.
I'm several years into this womans impolite behaviour and it's casting a bit of a dark cloud over Christmas because I'm dreading her making everyone else feel uncomfortable when she starts! So to me my two options are ring her in the morning and tell her to not behave that way or uninvite them both and tell BIL why. I simply cannot have another Christmas day like last years.

How was Christmas this time?

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