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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The burden of being a man

185 replies

Boomboombooo · 22/12/2024 15:48

"Men will give up their happiness for their families but women will give up their families for their happiness."

My DH explaining the burden of being a man to me this morning.

OP posts:
VoodooRajin · 24/12/2024 23:02

Is this a bit like the unbearable lightness of being?

katter · 25/12/2024 04:24

ParsnipPuree · 24/12/2024 18:26

JHound

"Is working for those women “optional?”

Or are they just focusing on the unpaid work that supports the family?

Also what burden will your Ds be carrying given that statistically is partner is likely to do some work and also do the lion’s share of all of the domestic and
emotional labour."

There isn't unpaid work that supports the family as they have people to help at home. They do however cook for family and friends, albeit with help.

In my case my ds will certainly do his fair share at home as that's just who he is. He will though be carrying the burden of bringing in the lion's share of income which in my opinion is stressful enough!

So you assume that you're son will be so enlightened to do equal housework but not enlightened enough to have a partner who's also working?
What age are we actually talking about?

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/12/2024 04:41

ParsnipPuree · 24/12/2024 18:26

JHound

"Is working for those women “optional?”

Or are they just focusing on the unpaid work that supports the family?

Also what burden will your Ds be carrying given that statistically is partner is likely to do some work and also do the lion’s share of all of the domestic and
emotional labour."

There isn't unpaid work that supports the family as they have people to help at home. They do however cook for family and friends, albeit with help.

In my case my ds will certainly do his fair share at home as that's just who he is. He will though be carrying the burden of bringing in the lion's share of income which in my opinion is stressful enough!

And tonight I introduce.....Nightmare MIL of the Year!!!

dayslikethese1 · 25/12/2024 04:47

How many women care for their husbands when they're old or incapacitated vs the other way around. Similarly, how many women do all the childcare. It's clearly the opposite of what he said. But if he really thinks it's all such a burden, why did he get married and have kids in the first place? No-one made him presumably.

Bill98502 · 25/12/2024 05:55

SuperfluousHen · 22/12/2024 16:02

.

Show quote history

Judging only that one sentence, I think it is usually the other way around.
My opinion as a 83 y/o man who has seen a few things in his life.

ParsnipPuree · 25/12/2024 06:11

JHound

"You are making a big assumption he will be bringing in the lion share of the income. Plenty of women are equal if not main earners in their families"

That may be, but in my dh's case his partner is in a career which is recognised for being low paid.

ParsnipPuree · 25/12/2024 06:14

PyongyangKipperbang

"And tonight I introduce.....Nightmare MIL of the Year!"

You did have me laughing there! Maybe I will be!

Shelley999 · 27/12/2024 16:32

On the whole, women give up everything for their children and family. Men pick up their coat and disappear when the going gets hot . . . .

JHound · 28/12/2024 02:59

ParsnipPuree · 25/12/2024 06:11

JHound

"You are making a big assumption he will be bringing in the lion share of the income. Plenty of women are equal if not main earners in their families"

That may be, but in my dh's case his partner is in a career which is recognised for being low paid.

So it is likely he will do the lion sharing of earning and she will do the lion share of unpaid labour.

XChrome · 28/12/2024 04:17

Maybe it's that he knows he's a fucking asshole and is anticipating you leaving him for the sake of your happiness. So he is trying to guilt trip you about that to prevent it.

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