The burden of being a man

[Boomboombooo]

"Men will give up their happiness for their families but women will give up their families for their happiness."

My DH explaining the burden of being a man to me this morning.

If my husband said this to me and genuinely believed it to be true then I'd divorce him.

Actually, far more women than men leave their marriages. With cheating, the old adage that women cheat to leave and men cheat to stay has a lot of truth.

I agree with the rest, that women make more sacrifices- maybe that’s why they end up leaving!!

Ridiculous.

Well in my case it is the other way around. I gave everything to my husband and kids and ex decided that I was not good enough after 25 years and he needed his freedom with the lovey comment: I should be grateful to him for not leaving me earlier when the kids were smalls. Our youngest daughter was barely 4 when he left but I guess for him she was all grown up.

It's certainly the opposite. I even see it in my kids. And something i always wonder why.

Most divorces are initiated by women but it's rare for them to leave their kids.

Mumsnet is littered with posts from women who have had their male partner do something selfish because they want to . Women, especially once kids come along, are constantly putting everyone else first. How many women have put their dreams aside because the kids or their partner comes first?

Your partner is living in dream world!

Ask him to do all the housework you will do over the next week then. 🙄

More like women give up everything for their families and so men can just carry on with their lives.

I think it depends. I'm in my 50's and In my circle working for women is optional, generally husbands take financial responsibility. My girlfriends who work (mostly part time) do because they love what they do.

I realise this is not the norm for everyone but I do feel for my ds knowing he'll carry this burden.

Well men can still get divorced if they feel the burden is that uneven. There's a reason why they don't.
Your DS can relax he'll probably be still be in a marriage where the woman will do the brunt of housework and childrearing, whether they'll work or not.
Those poor menz...

There are some selfish women out there, but he's deluding himself if he thinks that they aren't more than counterbalanced by a glut of selfish men. I'd be torn between laughing my head off and expressing my utter disgust if my husband came out with that nonsense.

poor, poor poor man - let him free

What rubbish! Does he honestly believe there are more men than women walking away from their responsibilities to their dc?

Sounds like an incel soundbite backed up by no common sense.

Far more women are initiating divorce for sure. Because we raised the bar.

Women put their whole selves into relationships and most men keep something back for themselves. Women can always do better.

Your DH sounds like an idiot. And a bit of a misogynist.

It’s that redpill trope that criticises women for leaving bad marriages but is silent on the behaviour that leads to her leaving….

Sounds like your DH is being radicalised by the manosphere.

She’s single though so isn’t giving up her family for her happiness.

Yes.

Spot on.

Essentially this is what he means.

Far more women file for divorce but that says nothing about who actually ended the relationship.

Is working for those women “optional?”

Or are they just focusing on the unpaid work that supports the family?

Also what burden will your Ds be carrying given that statistically is partner is likely to do some work and also do the lion’s share of all of the domestic and emotional labour.

JHound

"Is working for those women “optional?”

Or are they just focusing on the unpaid work that supports the family?

Also what burden will your Ds be carrying given that statistically is partner is likely to do some work and also do the lion’s share of all of the domestic and
emotional labour."

There isn't unpaid work that supports the family as they have people to help at home. They do however cook for family and friends, albeit with help.

In my case my ds will certainly do his fair share at home as that's just who he is. He will though be carrying the burden of bringing in the lion's share of income which in my opinion is stressful enough!

When my exhusband left us in 1996 he announced " I want to do what I want when I want. I can't do that with children so I'm afraid I have to leave". And off he went . Our children were 3 and 2 at the time. His shiny new girlfriend was 17. Somewhat disproves your husband's theory Op.

I divorced my first husband. Since he was no longer in the marriage my hand was somewhat forced there. It wasn't me who had an affair and left for someone else.

You are making a big assumption he will be bringing in the lion share of the income. Plenty of women are equal if not main earners in their families

Absolutely!