Dd choosing friend over our outing together

[Whatsthepointhey]

Dd is 6.
She’s not been well for a while, but started to get better in the last few weeks.
I arranged to go to a special Christmas show as a treat, booked the tickets, we read the book and she got a fancy new dress. I was really excited about this special mother/daughter outing as it’s something I’ve always wanted to go to and to take dd felt really special.
I started to get ready earlier and was asking her to get dressed, whilst I did my make up and would do her hair. She was running around saying she was playing etc. I then heard her calling to her friend over the back, who comes to stay with her auntie some weekends.
She came running upstairs saying how she didn’t want to go to the show, wanted to play with this friend and could she please play with her as she didn’t want to go to the show, she said sorry and pleaded.
What would you have done?

Go to the show.
She won't understand that it was expensive and time and thought went into it etc.

She can play with the girl later.
Once she's there she will forget all about her.

It's nothing personal. She's a kid.

If she's not complained if feeling sick in the last hour she's well enough to go. Take a plastic bag just in case she is unwell unexpectedly.

Like what? Please can you explain further? 🙏

Every kid is like that. This isn’t symptomatic of ASD 🙄

You are the parent, so parent. Children thrive of boundaries, giving them too may choices / decisions is not good for a 6 year old. It's odd that you are giving this a 2nd thought, she goes to the pre_arranged booked event

She is 6. She doesn’t get to choose/order the day. You go. That’s the end of it.

Kids often want to play with friends. I wouldnt be upset but i would explain tickets are booked and she will see friend another time. If we were popping to tesco i might postone but for tickets to a show we would still be going. Good she is feeling better.

The only reason i’m giving it a second thought is because she’s been ill and hasn’t been keen to go out in the car to places as has felt sick. If she’d not been ill, it would be a different thing

Parent her. Your afternoon is planned, paid for and not changing.

If she is ill, then she isn't going to be playing with her friend either, is she? You don't want to make someone else's child sick for Christmas, do you?

Do you think this is normal child behaviour?

Well, if she's genuinely still feeling unwell, she needs to stay home and rest, not play with her friend. She's not too young to understand that.

Maybe in hindsight it wasn't a good idea to book a big day out just yet.

I'm unclear from your post - if she's still being sick, or has been in the last 48 hours, please don't go and infect everyone else just before Xmas.

Otherwise tell her to come and get ready!

Yes.

This. Imnnot sure why its a question she 6 he goes where you say.

The only thing I see in your post is
I, I , I, I, I, I ......

Tho that said, I'd tell her she can play when she gets back.

Either she is too sick to go and you don’t want to risk it, so wouldn’t have gone anyway and this friend issue is a moot point because you’re staying home and she is resting no matter what. Or, you planned to go and the sickness didn’t affect that so you go, the friend gets told to go home and you tell your daughter to stop this behaviour because tickets have been paid for.

Gone to the show.
Say ' no, we already have plans and have paid for the tickets, we arranged to have a nice day together and it's not polite to cancel in people at the last minute'

Of course it's normal.

What do you mean?

Double yes. As a pp said, kids only see the here and now. She'll have a great time. She doesn't won't know it until she gets there. She hasn't got the experience to have anticipatory excitement about a show

Yes.

She either goes to the show or stays at home in bed - her choice based on how ill she is feeling.

Is she going to make everyone around her at the show sick though? That should also be considered.

One of my DC is autistic and this behavior would have been unusual for them FWIW. Usually if we had a plan, they preferred to stick with it.

Well then that's different. If she is ill or even just finds that kind of thing generally overwhelming then I wouldn't go. But is it the kind of thing she normally likes to do?

Oh give over. Have you never been excited about doing something special with your child?

Ok thank you