Is this enough for Christmas??

[FootballGrump]

Every year, “Father Christmas” brings our children one gift. One gift only… it could be a scooter or a lego set or a Tonybox or similar, they are still young and their taste is not extravagant.
Both sets of grandparents also get one gift per child that goes under the tree, typically something smaller (a dolly, a toy car etc).
In total, each child will have 3 or max 4 gifts to open on Christmas day. One “main” gift plus 2-3 smaller ones from close relatives. Plus a stocking full of bits and bobs.

We think this is ample and our children are delighted with it. Most people these days seem to spoil their children way more so I guess my AIBU is regarding what to do now my eldest is aware enough to start comparing with friends.
Some friends have hinted they think we don’t give our children enough toys.
I disagree, I think they are very fortunate and I already feel they don’t have enough respect for their toys (breaking things, losing the small parts, not putting stuff away). I remember being really attached to my toys and treasuring them, I would like to see more of that in our household.

This! But these are the same families who go on to be mean with their own children.

Very sad! I know which child id rather be!

It's more about sticking to a budget for me. This year neither DC (7 and 10) asked for anything so it's all 'bits and bobs and they each have a pretty big pile as a result. If I'd bought a bike or something that pile would be less. As a child it was magical to come down at Xmas to this pile on the sofa and I like my kids to have the same. Your situation wouldn't work for me but it sounds like you're happy with it so great.

That’s really interesting. It can’t be the same for all ages though? Like 1 year old sane as 14 year old?

I always found the pile of presents so exciting at Christmas, so I do get quite a lot.
DH didn’t get much growing up so he likes giving more to our kids.

We don’t get an obscene amount of, a main gift and a couple of medium gifts and a handful of small gifts. Father Christmas brings one gift and stocking.

The thing about treasured toys is that it’s often a random toy that unexpectedly becomes the favourite. Not the carefully selected, quality item, chosen with love.

It’s £150 where I work, and yes it’s the same amount for all ages. Babies and toddlers often get £50 ish spent on them and the rest put into their savings. Some carers do spend it all though.

I must admit it sounds a bit sad to me. I grew up getting a sackful of presents from Santa (and I'm late 40s so it's no new phenomenon) so I've always done the same for my kids. It always includes stuff they need like socks, gloves etc and sweets/chocolates. Half the fun is not knowing if a wrapped present is something exciting or socks lol.

However referring back to a different thread, I grew up with waiting to open presents from family until after lunch and it prolonged the excitement, plus we'd had plenty to explore/play with in our stockings (sacks).

They absolutely should be. Literally the best part of presents is opening the wrapping!!

You sound much like us, OP. There is no need for any more. I've always gotten my children one or so present/s and a stocking, and they get some extras from family. This year the eldest gets £50 cash and a vintage necklace, and the youngest gets a fancy haircut she asked for plus a couple of nice cosmetic products. Plus stockings. Both already know their 'main' presents and are happy.

It's not sanctimonious to say Christmas is about more than a pile of presents. People are so indoctrinated in the capitalist mindset that it's become all about material goods. For us it's also about the pre-Christmas hanging out by the log fire chatting & baking together, taking said baking to local friends, prepping the Christmas meal together, sitting down to nice food and a beautifully set table, having family over after Christmas etc.

As well as encouraging him every year to work out which of his old toys he no longer plays with as much to donate them to a child who might be less fortunate than him

Most kids won’t have toys left over or less played with to donate - that’s the point.

Mine are adults now but they used to get a stocking and one present from us, and still do. I have realised from reading Mumsnet this year that many people give multiple presents.

I don't think it really matters what anyone else does, you have your Christmas ways, they have theirs. Comparison never really helps in the long run.

We do main present, stocking, and about 8-10 other gifts always including an annual, a cuddly toy, a novel, jigsaw, new pyjamas. Any more than that we've found gets overwhelming but I also want DC to have a nice little goodies pile to last the holidays.

Quite pleased with stocking this year - Spongebob socks, football team items, loads of stickers, nee doh ball, fancy bouncy balls, glider, magic pens, fluffy Snoopy pen, stacking crayons, novelty Japanese sweets, Hotel Chocolat penguins, Doctor Who pin badges, several silly Spongebob things, a couple of novels, satsuma, apple, pound coins

Ours get a stocking plus usually one or two gifts from us, they then get a gift from each of our close family about 8 ( so grandparents, aunts/ uncles, great aunts) and then usually one from 5 or 6 of our closest friends ( all with kids their age) so a lot when I write it down.

That is how you do Christmas and your children enjoy it, how can it be wrong.
In our house, Father Christmas brings a main gift and fills the stockings.
Mum and Dad get some smaller gifts and a nice big gift too.
Everything else is from other people: grandparents (my mum and dad go nuts as my children are the only grandparents they have and will have; same for my Grandparents)
YOUR Christmas is just that YOURS. Don’t let anyone else dictate how Christmas should or shouldn’t be.

Sounds like a shit Christmas. They are never going to look back on their childhood Christmas and remember it as being magical.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking lots of gifts = spoilt and materialistic and also don’t make the mistake of lots of toys = children not treasuring them and looking after them . Those kinds of things are down to how they are raised to a greater degree not what they get .

I think it's fine to do Christmas however works best for your family.

But there's this weird thing on mn in December where people seem to want to compete about who gives their dc the smallest amount of gifts as if it is some sort of virtue.

I also want them to put less weight on the materialistic stuff and more on the Christmas spirit, the being together bit with friends and family and cooking and good food going on, baking, music, etc

Honestly? It sounds to me like you like being 'different' to most other people and are using that as a reason/excuse to spend less. That's the genuine, honest impression I'm getting from your posts OP. Hopefully I'm wrong.
Why don't you also order them an art set to share or something? Or something else inexpensive (and therefore not extravagant) to share, that will get them playing outside?

It's not sanctimonious to say Christmas is about more than a pile of presents. People are so indoctrinated in the capitalist mindset that it's become all about material goods. For us it's also about the pre-Christmas hanging out by the log fire chatting & baking together, taking said baking to local friends, prepping the Christmas meal together, sitting down to nice food and a beautifully set table, having family over after Christmas etc.

This again. They’re not mutually exclusive! DH and I are both finished for Christmas now and have had the loveliest few days with DD baking, making a gingerbread house, making winter bird feeders, going for walks to see the lights, snuggling up and reading stories. She’s beyond excited that her grandparents and auntie are coming to celebrate with her on Wednesday, and she’s going to help me with the bread sauce and cranberry sauce this year now she’s old enough, because I remember doing it with my mum every year and it’s a special memory to treasure. We’ve hung the very precious ornaments that were my mum’s and my gran’s on the tree and looked at photos of them and talked about how much they would have loved DD and how they’re still with us in our hearts. We’ve watched the snowman and danced in the kitchen to Christmas songs. We’ve made additional donations to the food bank all through December and donated some of her toys to charity shops as well as bought new to give to the toy drives. We will be spending time with family, friends and neighbours over the next week and it will all be very special.

We’ve also bought her more than one bloody present.

I find it miserable. There's a massive difference between the insta mums crowd with thousands of pounds worth of tech /designer gear in mountainous piles and one gift from Santa without even a present from mum and dad.

We used to have a pillowcase from FC on our beds and tree presents from family and friends. We've sort of continued with 3 or 4 mid gifts from FC, another 8 ish from us with usually one big ticket item, some extra craft / underwear / fancy toiletries or smaller toys plus sweets and chocolate in the stocking from the elves. They absolutely love it but don't get overloaded. They don't see their presents as the holy infant, because the little ones are little, and sometimes they play exuberantly. They get less on their birthdays and do not go without through the year; but the 'feasting' vs the rest of the winter is kind of the bloody point.

I do think this puritanical insistence that they treasure one single item and family time just means your grandchildren will be given the contents of Hamleys in 25 years! Like all the kids I see never allowed Haribo who gorge themselves sick at parties and never learn to moderate. Opening gifts which have been thoughtfully chosen for each child IS family time. Over the years some of their favourite gifts have been random small items that were chosen with them specifically in mind, or the big expensive stuff.

Sorry but I do think it’s a bit weird to only give your children one present each. Why not a few smaller ones as well, assuming you can afford it? We do one ‘big’ present and then smaller ones, plus stockings from Santa which are largely just choc/sweets, toiletries and small cheap things. And then gifts from other family members/friends.

My friend always goes overboard every christmas with presents taking up the whole living room. And every year she curses herself because the kids are spoilt rotten and always want more. I think @FootballGrump is doing a good thing. We try to limit as well but with family it's hard so they always get too much imo. Too much: things that will soon be discarded and taken to charity.

Totally agree. Kids are overwhelmed with the amount they receive. Less is more. Teaches kids to look after and value their toys

I know a family who was very much in the huge pile of presents camp. But they had quite a small house, so basically they would throw out/give to charity the previous years presents to make space for the new ones.

I couldn’t quite work that out as DS played with the same toys for years, sometimes giving them different uses when combining them with other toys. So the thought of getting rid of toys he still played with to make room for new seemed odd. Obviously if he didn’t play with them then they could go.

I don't think the OP thought about people who could not afford more. We could afford more but my children are always grateful for what they get. Massconsumption will leave our children with a disastrous planet so it would be good if people could scale down a bit.