Is this enough for Christmas??

[FootballGrump]

Every year, “Father Christmas” brings our children one gift. One gift only… it could be a scooter or a lego set or a Tonybox or similar, they are still young and their taste is not extravagant.
Both sets of grandparents also get one gift per child that goes under the tree, typically something smaller (a dolly, a toy car etc).
In total, each child will have 3 or max 4 gifts to open on Christmas day. One “main” gift plus 2-3 smaller ones from close relatives. Plus a stocking full of bits and bobs.

We think this is ample and our children are delighted with it. Most people these days seem to spoil their children way more so I guess my AIBU is regarding what to do now my eldest is aware enough to start comparing with friends.
Some friends have hinted they think we don’t give our children enough toys.
I disagree, I think they are very fortunate and I already feel they don’t have enough respect for their toys (breaking things, losing the small parts, not putting stuff away). I remember being really attached to my toys and treasuring them, I would like to see more of that in our household.

I only got the one from Mum and Dad, as did my 3 siblings. Money was tight and we understood that.

I've not read all the replies.
Your presents are a similar amount to what I got as a kid. Christmas was magical. Stockings were big - but maybe not by pillowcase standards!! Santa brought stockings. Presents were from people.
It's what I've sort of replicated with our kids - tho slightly more presents from us, as they only get family presents from one set of grandparents. So maybe 3 things from parents, and something from my parents. DH's family don't do Christmas - they have other celebrations where cash is given - and DH thinks what we have is excessive.
My (teenage) kids are still excited for Xmas.

I think the issue comes if you change part way through childhood. So if they are used to receiving, say, 25+ presents reducing it down to 5 is noticeable. But if you've always had 5, that is magical for you.

Mine does count his presents but I don't know why - he doesn't compare the amount with friends or with previous years. Anyway they have 10 presents plus stocking stuff which is a couple of sweets and small toy like Lego minifigure. I wouldn't want any more and think that is plenty and they will be very happy. I am not sure kids compare that much and anyway you can just explain what you do

Honestly, just do what you want. Matters not a jot what other families do. Stop comparing. You do come across as a bit smug and your fake naivety trying to understand different perspectives is a bit much.

I that you are doing the right thing. Being snowed under with gifts doesn't mean happier children.

One single present from parents is a bit mean and miserable to be honest if you are finacially comfortable. Especially when they are so young. I'll never forgot the joy of seeing my childs face full of excitement on christmas day morning, seeing the presents under the tree.

I get you don't want to buy them loads of material things, and I agree that isn't needed, but I do think stretching to a couple more presents would be a nice thing to do for your children.

Yeah but that's not the situation here.

I thought I gave my children much more than average and was a bit ashamed about it, but reading this thread I now think maybe their present haul hasn’t been quite as over the top as I thought. Their stockings are pillow case size and stuffed with goodies (although I’m paring them back a bit now they’re aged 21 and 20!) and under the tree they have one big present from us then maybe four or five presents from others (eg aunts, uncle). They also give each other a present. This has always felt like more than enough.

Hrtft but it one of those where each family will have their own traditions and spend as little or as much as they like.
I do think children today generally expect a lot( my own included)
I think I read a few months back the average spend per child at Christmas was around £3-400- which I’d probably agree with. I didn’t see how old your kids were but if you’re just getting the one gift plus a few stocking fillers, then unless you’re very hard up, I’d probably think you were being unreasonable and a bit of a Scrooge.

I recall being shocked that a DS Nintendo was about £120, with a game I think, when DS was about 7/8. That rather blew the budget. Then came the GameCube, then the Wii. I used to wonder how people afforded it. It seemed more justifiable because his birthday is on Christmas day so GPs bought the games and add ons as birthday presents. He's 30 on Wednesday!

It does depend on the one present though surely. We don't give dd any that are actually from us, we just say that Father Christmas brings her enough. One present could be a massive Lego set, a Barbie house or a PlayStation. Coupled with a decent stocking those things would be plenty.

Disagree

I actually think the money spent is less valuable than the moment of seeing a few gifts under the tree. Children get excited by the actual parcels: the squishing and guessing, the opening, the admiring and later on the trying new things out/playing new games/putting on new dress or pjs etc

One decent gift and a few smaller ones just feels more joyful. I doesn't have to be obscene/vulgar/spendy - it's about the excitement and happiness. It's not a sin against humanity to be excited by getting a few presents. It doesn't make you greedy or materialistic - just a normal child!

And it doesn't take away from any other aspect of Christmas day. The family, the love, the eating together, the walks, the churching, the board gaming, the generous spiriting etc. But gifting IS part of Christmas so why would you not make that bit more exciting. It's not forever and to touch on OP's very original question, it would be more in line with what the children will, in due course, understand to be what most children receive.

I haven't suggested it does make anyone greedy, I'm not sure where you've got that idea from. Last year dd had one big gift under the tree, a Barbie house, she didn't need or want anything else because to her it was the most exciting thing ever. Her stocking had gifts for proving and gamily bought her gifts too. More gifts for under the tree from FC (us) would not have made it more joyful.
If the one present was a pair of socks, then yes that wouldn't seem so exciting. Although if that's all a parent can afford then it'd be better than nothing.

OP said her children are young though so I suspect it doesn't include a really expensive gift like an Xbox. With younger children, part of the excitement is seeing the gifts, most probably don't care what's inside them, it's the joy of seeing them and opening, not knowing what's inside. Obviously it's different when they are older if they start wanting things like an Xbox or phone

Our Christmas is 'pre-loved' this year (our boys are only 1 & 2). I have bought everything from charity shops or marketplace and the like. They know no different and to be honest it's meant they have quite a lot of things but varies from books, toy cars, dinosaurs and a kitchen.

I think its nice to give something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.

I think that’s more than enough, your children still sound really young and what’s the point in bankrupting yourselves when they don’t even fully understand?

I have two toddlers and they already have so much and have got loads of presents from grandparents, our siblings and friends that we have just got them a ‘Santa’ stocking each! However these are overflowing and do have lots of fun toys in rather than practical things like socks etc! I definitely don’t feel like we need to get them any more than that currently!

I think your approach to Christmas is a very sensible one OP and I don't think you should worry about what other parents choose to give their children.
😊

To each their own, who cares. Most important is that you are comfortable with what you’re doing for them? You shouldn’t need validation. Typically we set a budget and stick to it, and it results in maybe ten-ish gifts and an average sized (think hanging from the fireplace stocking) filled with cheap goodies they enjoy playing with / eating. Works well for us and my kids are grateful.

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Sounds perfect to me - very much like my childhood memories of Christmas.

We would get a small stocking to open first thing and one or two main gifts later in the day, which were treasured throughout the year.

We also went to church on Christmas morning, didn't open presents until after lunch, and sung carols around the piano.

It makes me sad that Christmas is no longer like this.

If you read the post they get more than that!

I think what you do is perfect. My kids were raised to appreciate anything they got, and they've always been happy with getting something, however small - it's the thought that counts.

Saying that, I can't even afford to feed my kids a Christmas dinner this year (or last year). Last Christmas a friend gave us a chicken so we'd at least have something other than beans on toast to eat. So, my kiddos know there are no presents this year, and they're perfectly OK with it.

That sounds quite sparse to be honest. We wrap smaller and useful things too.

We usually do stockings and 10/12 presents from Santa (they’re young so things aren’t particularly expensive), then 1 main present from us that they will love but didn’t ask for. Usually a few presents from other family members for them to open on the day.

My sister does a stocking and pyjamas from Santa and everything else from them. It makes it awkward when we are all together for Christmas Eve/Day 😂