People turning up without warning- rude?

[notedbiscuits]

I find this behaviour rude and thoughtless. As the homeowners may have plans themselves or in the midst of a cooking marathon esp this time of the year.

Be nicer for them to message/call saying are you available to have a chat as in the area etc.

If you are one of those people who turn up at others without informing them first. Why do you do it?

In camp not rude.

One of my pet hates. The person who’s known to do it knows this but has done it anyway to unsettle me

You’re easily unsettled if an unexpected knock at the door can send you into a tailspin.

I say " I wish you had called first it would have saved you a wasted journey. We are just on our way out". I do this EVERY TIME until they get it. I dont host pop ins EVER.

I’m British, but not English. In my culture dropping in and taking people as you find them is completely normal. If you’re ever passing mine please do drop in, there’s usually a biscuit around here somewhere…

I was going to say it’s very rude, and then I realised it’s because I have one person in mind who does this - turns up and expects to be invited in, child entertained (her parenting extends to a feeble ‘don’t do that’, while the child does it anyway), expects dietary restricted snacks (never have it in). I hate when she turns up, I learnt to say now is not a good time, let’s meet at soft play another day.
If I think of another friend who sometimes turns up, I love having her in my house, her and her family just fit in seamlessly with us.

So my answer to whether it is rude, will depend on who has turned up!

I personally am not this relaxed about unplaned guests as I use to be but what you wrote is really sweet. X

It would be annoying. Our tiny house is often quite untidy with 2 young kids and I wouldn't appreciate someone just coming round without warning before I could tidy up. Fortunately everyone I know has the respect to check first

I actually don't mind. I'm untidy but I can always do a sandwich. Both DH and I came from big Christian families so it's normal to call if in the area.

Agree @MurdoMunro and given your user name I'm presuming you're Scottish too. Put it in the same box as "saying hello to strangers in the street as you pass" or "speaking to people on public transport".

Most of MN, apparently

SilverChampagne · Today 12:16

Snugglemonkey · Today 12:14
Will she answer the door? I don't if I am not expecting anyone.

**
You literally leave people standing on the doorstep if they haven’t made an appointment?
That is not a normal thing to do. Are your social skills deficient in other areas too? I suspect they are.

It’s not a normal thing for you. For many others, it is. Social skills include ensuring that you aren’t inconveniencing someone. an ok if I pop by later? text is very easy

And it has just happened. I’m on the middle of an epic batch cooking session, house is a kip, specs are steamed up and my friend stopped in on her way back from town. She put the kettle on while I finished with the onions, we had a blether and off she went. Lovely.

Great. Others, though, hate it.

It’s not a normal thing for you. For many others, it is. Social skills include ensuring that you aren’t inconveniencing someone. an ok if I pop by later? text is very easy

I think that's a relatively recent thing though - it wasn't all that long ago that most people didn't own a mobile.

I like random visitors. Particularly at this time of year. But I am also an adult capable of telling unexpected visitors if it's not convenient, or if I am working or going out.

Had mine for a good 20
years and I’m a ridiculous technophobe.

Who the eff turns up unannounced and expects lunch?!?

I'm absolutely fine with it, if it's people I see regularly to it really is just a five minute doorstep chat.

It's weird if it's someone you haven't seen for ages, because I'd hope for the chance for more chat and of course that might not be convenient. If you're actually friends, make time to catch up properly.

I fully expect my dad to drop in at some point over the weekend for his annual “Grace us with his presence” stint. I’m up to my eyes in pre-Christmas cleaning (in my pjs) so he’ll be out of luck looking for a cup of tea.

I was born in 1961. Plenty of people had both parents working, but they managed to get home stuff done and answer a bloody door!

I have some health issues and all the DMs and prior notice drive me mad.
If I have the energy I will get in the car and to be quite frank I will just knock and hand people gifts. I don’t ask to be invited in, and don’t mind if nobody is home. I will then leave a little note to say I called.
If I had to prearrange times it would be a nightmare for me I don’t have it in me. The people who care about me don’t mind at all, and I’m sure are quite glad I literally knock, wish them a lovely Christmas and bog off!

You can't make someone else feel guilty, that's on them.

This poster IS being nice - people on this site are such weirdos.

As for the one above saying to post it and would rather no gift at all - prob works quite nicely as I can't imagine you have many friends being so bloody antisocial!!

I hate it, but then so do most people who are close enough to potentially do this so it doesn't really happen.
I'm glad someone mentioned being braless as one of the reasons as its one of mine. I can't stand wearing a bra in my own home. I literally pop one on before I go out and take it off soon as I get in 😂

20 years is still relatively recent in the grand scheme of things - I mean, I have relatives who still don't own a mobile phone.

I do wonder if this is a cultural thing. FIL is nearly 80 and would think we'd lost the plot if we ever rang him in advance to arrange a visit. His door is always open and we're welcome anytime, whereas my dad would genuinely think someone had died if I showed up at his house unannounced.

We've just eaten but feel free to use the kitchen to make yourself a sandwich with the things you brought. Chat to them in kitchen while guarding fridge....😆😆😆