Do I cancel? I’m in a flood of tears

[dustofastar]

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

No don’t cancel. The other two are friends of yours too.

No! Don't cancel. She'll win in that case.

No but I find it odd that your other friends are being drawn into it. How did you find out?

It’s just tiring.

I had dinner with three different (completely separate) friends last night and it was just so easy and lovely.

Now it’s mind games and pathetic “queen bee” type behaviour.

It’s on the group chat

Don't cancel. Face it out. Otherwise you'll want to cancel next time, and the next ...

Go along. Big smile. Be friendly. If there's tension, raise it and clear the air. If there's no tension, you'll be relieved to know your friendships are still strong.

Does she have form for falling out with people ?
What fo the other 2 friends think about it ?

Sounds like she's playing games. I'd feel like not going too. I couldn't be arsed with the drama she's trying to create.

If it’s in the group chat can’t you meet them early too?

It'll be worse if you don't go as you'll be officially making it into a thing. No one will believe you're ill if you drop out after finding out about the pre meet up. I'd go, see how the night goes and if you get chance at the end have a word with the one you fell out with. Tell her you thought you were OK, were you wrong? I personally always think its better to speak directly.

I'd just say, oh are we meeting earlier? If she says no, just us three, then I'd cancel. Then meet the others another time. If the others don't say anything then you'll know where you stand with them!

I'd post on the group chat that they may as well carry on without you.

That's not the behaviour of friends, OP.

If she's put it on the group chat, then surely it's up for everyone?! Is there more to it like you can't get to the earlier meet up place for whatever reason but they all can?

Absolutely this. Go and just be yourself, stay calm and friendly towards this girl.
sounds Like it’s her with the problem.
🥂💐

This sounds like the perfect reply

Yep I'd do this . Or just not bother if the other 2 are going along with it. At least you have other friends.

Yeah I agree group chat - invite yourself. But is there more to it? Did you do something awful...

Yes go with this, how they all respond will tell you what to do

No, don't cancel. Face into it. And if any of them are rude or passive aggressive or anything like that during dinner, don't suffer in polite silence. Make it as awkward as you fucking like by openly asking what's going on.

Do your friends know there is an issue? They may unwittingly beagreeing not understanding the full picture.
i too would say are we meeting earlier? And if it’s not an enthusiastic response or no response I would cancel and arrange to see the others separately.

If your friends go out for drinks before dinner and you're not invited then I'd cancel. Good friends wouldn't do that.

Ooooh noooo, don't let her push you away from the other two friends as well! She'd LOVE it if you took yourself out of the picture so that she can have the other two all to herself, I'm sure. In fact, the pre-meetup is probably designed to make you blow your top so that you end up being out of the group. Do NOT give her the satisfaction! Ignore the pre-meetup, go along to the planned outing, be your best self, and show them what they're missing when they leave you out.

Then decide in the New Year if you want to hang around with any of them. Decide on YOUR terms.

Go ahead with the meet up as planned. Your two friends don't want to take sides and choose between you and ex friend. That's what it will seem like to them.

If they're all going along with it together then they're being really unkind. Falling out with you is childish anyway, she should have a conversation and if whatever you've done is so bad she should either resolve it or decide to withdraw from group meet ups.

If it is on the group chat you must know where they are meeting beforehand? If it is public place then just turn up too. If it was me I would just turn up acting like I’m not bothered and be happy and breezy. If you’re having a night out together you will probably all be friends again by the end of the night anyway!