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Original poster

Do I cancel? I’m in a flood of tears

132 replies

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:45

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/12/2024 20:04

I’m struggling to imagine this conversation. She just said “let’s meet beforehand, just me, Pat and Susie (insert real names)”, and the other two just said OK?

Magicisstillhere · 20/12/2024 20:06

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/12/2024 20:04

I’m struggling to imagine this conversation. She just said “let’s meet beforehand, just me, Pat and Susie (insert real names)”, and the other two just said OK?

This

arcticpandas · 20/12/2024 20:08

Are you sure you weren't invited as well? Did she specifically just ask the two others on the chat? If they agreed I would say I'll leave you guys to it.

Zonder · 20/12/2024 20:09

Probably too late now just I'd have replied on the group chat to ask when and where for the pre meet.

loropianalover · 20/12/2024 20:11

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/12/2024 20:04

I’m struggling to imagine this conversation. She just said “let’s meet beforehand, just me, Pat and Susie (insert real names)”, and the other two just said OK?

Same, would be helpful to know the context. Do they live/work close and are meeting to travel together to dinner? Are they finished work earlier than OP? Did OP read the message wrong?

Abi86 · 20/12/2024 20:13

"Oh, goody. We’re meeting early. I’ll see you all there"

Flicitytricity · 20/12/2024 20:14

Be careful that you're not paranoid - and I say rather as someone who reacted just like you!
In my situation, a group whatsapp message read ' Anne, Barbara, I'll pick you up at 6, grab a glass or 2 before the show'.
I was so pissed off, but 'Carol' had been told by Anne that I was working near the theatre that day, so wouldn't need a lift and she'd let me know where to meet them for drinks.....

So I hadn't been excluded at all - make sure you have been ignored before you jump to conclusions🙂

TwinkleLights24 · 20/12/2024 20:14

I’d probably stand them up. Christmas is no time to be crying because of so called friends.

Cluelesssanta · 20/12/2024 20:17

Surely if it's on group chat, you are free to meet up too? Does it actually say ,"Polly and Dolly, shall just us 3 meet up before meeting dustofastar?"

Judgejudysno1fan · 20/12/2024 20:18

One evening , I had cooked a buffet of food and nibbles for me and 3 friends, planned in advance. They came for about 15 minutes, took off and went for a meal, and clubbing. Leaving me at home like a prized plum with lots of food left over. It was a small arrangement for my new engagement celebration. Felt very sad. When I expressed I was upset, I was told I WAS OUT OF ORDER. seriously, let them all go. They're not your friends.

Judgejudysno1fan · 20/12/2024 20:21

Oh, yes forgot to add they ate nothing.

So it was a waste of time, planning and chatting on messenger.

I wouldn't be happy and I'd say something too on this What app group too. Short and sweet and move on

BeAzureAnt · 20/12/2024 20:26

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:45

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

Oh, you need to go. Don’t let one person separate you from two other friends. stand tall.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 20/12/2024 20:27

All the confused posters saying OP should just join them to if it’s on the group chat, I’m guessing what is on the group chat is that they are CURRENTLY out without the OP having made the arrangement to meet before in secret. Honestly fuck that. I wouldn’t even bother to say I’m sick, I just wouldn’t turn up. As someone else said, you clearly have some nice friends and who doesn’t LOVE a surprise free evening at this time of year. Wine on my own in my pyjamas in front of the telly. Takeaway all to myself. So much nicer and more restorative than hanging out with wankers.

ThinkingIshouldnothavegone · 20/12/2024 20:33

Tealpins · 20/12/2024 18:48

No! Don't cancel. She'll win in that case.

Win what? We've no idea what's gone on, or why they are meeting up beforehand.

poetryandwine · 20/12/2024 20:40

Bumcake · 20/12/2024 19:31

Why does the message say then? “Shall we meet for drink before dinner? Not you, Dusto”. I can’t understand how she did it on a group message.

This, OP. Can you say more?

asthecrowdwaschantingmore · 20/12/2024 20:43

If it was on the group chat, it's pretty poor form to not include you. Ask if you're invited as well.

Papyrophile · 20/12/2024 20:50

Grit your teeth and go with a huge smile.

commonsense61 · 20/12/2024 20:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MildredSauce · 20/12/2024 20:57

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:50

It’s on the group chat

Show quote history

Blimey, were you all meeting at Maccies before going to the Youth Club? How old are you all, it feels like teen drama?

If she's being divisive, then leave her to it. I disagree with whoever said "go and don't let them win" as making it into a competition is perpetuating the childishness.

ThinkingIshouldnothavegone · 20/12/2024 21:01

MildredSauce · 20/12/2024 20:57

Blimey, were you all meeting at Maccies before going to the Youth Club? How old are you all, it feels like teen drama?

If she's being divisive, then leave her to it. I disagree with whoever said "go and don't let them win" as making it into a competition is perpetuating the childishness.

Show quote history

making it into a competition is perpetuating the childishness.

Amen to that.

Gatecrashermum · 20/12/2024 21:03

How old are you all?

Numberwangggg · 20/12/2024 21:05

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:45

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

If things are ok what’s the problem?

CJsGoldfish · 20/12/2024 21:25

If the message was in the group chat, what did it say?
What caused the 'floods of tears'?

What I'd do, or advise, is based on that really.

Anuta77 · 20/12/2024 21:25

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:45

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

I'm sorry you're feeling like that, but it's not like your life can not continue and you can not be happy IF you lost any of those friends. It's annoying that they are meeting before, but it shouldn't be to the point of making you cry. Try to imagine that it's not against you and also think that you have other friends. Everything will be ok!

Ilovelurchers · 20/12/2024 21:38

OP, hope you are ok.

It would help massively if you could explain what was said, and how this came about.

If she suggested meeting earlier to everyone, and you just can't make it, honestly that is no big deal.

If she pointedly said it to them, excluding you intentionally, in a group chat of which you are apart, then clearly she is the nastiest of pieces of work......

Massive difference in possible scenarios. Not being mean at all - can see you are upset - but we can only advise you properly if we know what is happening.