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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she could have made an effort for 5 minutes?

280 replies

1Rainynights · 20/12/2024 11:40

I'll start off by saying that I haven't said anything/told this person how I feel and I won't either, before anyone jumps on me. I just wanted to get other peoples opinions.

I'm making my rounds this week, dropping off presents to family and friends. The days running up to Christmas will be busy, the same for everyone I'm sure. I'm also working until Christmas Eve and wanted to get things done early rather than running around like a headless chicken the day before Grin

I bought some presents for my friend's children and asked her last week if I could pop by on Thursday (yesterday) which she said yes to as she had no plans. I wanted to give plenty of notice as I know everyone is busy this time of year. I messaged her yesterday morning to check all was ok and she replied that she was having a lazy day with the kids and could I come on the weekend instead. I already have plans this weekend and wasn't sure if I'd have enough time (she lives an hour away). I mentioned this and just asked if I could leave them by the front door instead which she agreed to. She messaged me a couple of hours later saying thanks.

AIBU to think this is a bit, well, shit? I'm pretty sure they were sat in the living room when I dropped them off. I'm not sure I could just sit there and not even say hello if a friend was outside my house. I understand it was my choice to get them something, but if someone had made the effort for my kids, I'd certainly acknowledge/speak to them, even if it was just for 5 minutes. Being ill or having something crop up is of course different situation, but they were literally just sat on the couch watching a film by the looks of it...

OP posts:
Mamagonemad · 28/12/2024 10:19

Porcuporpoise · 20/12/2024 11:46

That's- more than a bit shit, that's astoundingly rude. Really don't bother in future, with her or her kids.

This! We all have days when we really aren’t in the mood for guests, but under the circumstances she should have made an effort for half an hour and had you in for a coffee and biscuit. It’s unbelievable that she let you drive all that way to leave presents, and didn’t open the door!

Lights22 · 29/12/2024 04:24

I'm confused that she and her family are important enough and close enough to exchange presents, but not to be part of lazy days together. To me that's synonymous with that kind of friendship. Everyone is different though.

EmsSummer · 30/12/2024 07:14

So so rude!

I have similar with a couple of friends . When I visit, they don’t get up out of their seats to say hello, or they know I’m there and I have to go and find them in a different room. Blows my mind. At the very least I stand up to say hello and goodbye, thanks for coming etc. one time the one sat watching tv and was obviously annoyed that we were there dropping presents off

YANBU

HiEarthlings · 02/01/2025 18:00

WhatUSeeIsWhatUGet · 20/12/2024 12:40

I came here to say the same: it was you who decided to buy the gifts and it suited you to give them that specific day. She told you she already had plans (what do you know about the circumstances of their day? Maybe she needed that moment with their children for important reasons, you don't need to be so dismissive). So you offered that weird alternative (again because it suited you). And she accepted. And then you come here to ridicule her.
The whole point of gift giving is that it's not about the one who gives, lady!

How to tell everyone that you didn't read the whole post before replying, without telling us that you didn't read the whole post before replying.... 🤦🏼‍♂️

WhatUSeeIsWhatUGet · 02/01/2025 18:35

HiEarthlings · 02/01/2025 18:00

How to tell everyone that you didn't read the whole post before replying, without telling us that you didn't read the whole post before replying.... 🤦🏼‍♂️

I can play this game too, look:

"How to tell everybody that you didn't read my reply correcting this one you quoted without telling everybody that you didn't read my reply correcting this one you quoted".

See? Fun! And, above it all, verrry smart! 😃

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