To want to kill unwell DH?

[meltingsnowwomen]

He’s been in bed since Tuesday morning. So I’ve had to do everything.

The thing is he normally is away Tuesday to Thursday night anyway. So no difference.

But having him here and doing nothing is ten times worse than not here at all.

I am sure I am BU.

As annoying as it is, I would rather my DH stayed upstairs instead of taking over downstairs and slippering about and making a load of mess. Xx

I have been conversing with my ex via Facebook for the last few years. I live with my partner and he has been going out with a woman for 8/9 years. On Friday he said how much the relationship isn’t moving on. I joked and said why don’t we make a go of things. I then had her unblock me on Facebook and send a picture of her engagement ring. I asked why he hadn’t said anything. I said what she had done was pretty nasty and that he was obviously a player and didn’t want to get involved with his shit. Why do I feel such a stupid fool? He had been propositioning me online.

So let's get this straight.........your husband is ill (genuinely, I assume - and through no fault of his own) - however that in and of itself makes no difference to how much you have to do around the house as he's usually away during the week in any event. And you are irritated by the fact he's at home, feeling unwell.

This is not the reaction of a rational human being - you are being extremely unreasonable.

What do you expect the poor guy to do - check in to a hotel and be unwell there? You're his wife FFS!

Really? REALLY???

I was sick and he told me to go to bed and he would do me a favour and do school pick up, when he realised how poorly I was (I couldn't even get myself undressed and kept going dizzy) with a chest infection and bad asthma. Despite me doing the school run that morning and barely able to walk without every single breath hurting me.

Then fast forward to a few days later when he had his chest infection and was poorly. Oh wow, what a turnaround! He then completely empathised and got the message and was full of apologies. And I nursed him, and our poorly boy and was over at my poorly mums, despite still being under the weather. Amazing how we battle on despite being knackered isn't it.

Nasty thread

deleted

Ah yes, but that’s what you feel when you actually LOVE someone (in sickness and health.) Not the same as bitter and sad MNers piling on to wish men dead who they never loved in the first place. 🙄

It sounds like sour grapes on your part. You admit he is ill. He can, sensibly, rest. You can't.
You're simply jealous.

Apologies if I have missed something but that is how it reads to me.

Nope not BU at all
Claim it back OP - book in ur 2-night stay when it’s his holidays and Do It Now.

He doesn’t have to take the day off to ‘dote on his ill wife’ but he can go to work a bit later (and so get the kids ready and drop them off to nursery) and come back a bit earlier and make dinner and put them to bed.

That’s what my DH would do if I was ill?!
In the real world where both parents work FT if one is ill enough that they can’t get out of bed (this was me in the last week of November- eventually it turned out I had pneumonia) then the other parent steps up.

If you work PT and they are sick on your day off, that’s harder, but I would expect the partner to either take the day off (not to dote on their wife but to look after the kids- not the same thing), or to work a slightly shorter day and pick up the slack. I don’t understand why suggesting this is so unreasonable.

I thought this thread was going to be about something very, very different!

Then don't start threads about 1st world problems...

Some empathy and compassion would help here.

My husband takes time off if I am sick enough to need him to. It falls under 'family leave' at his workplace.

There are loads of supportive partners out there (M and F)

the only ones you read about on here are the awful useless ones who don't look after their partner when they're sick but take to their bed and expect to be waited on hand foot and finger when they're sick. But they're not the entire population.

if there's inequality it needs to be addressed when both partners are well again, it's pointless sorting it out if one of them is feeling like crap. It's mean to get at someone if they feel ill, it's counter productive.

Trouble is, it probably doesn't get talked about, the can is kicked down the road and so the cycle continues.

tasteless title, @meltingsnowwomen no excuse for that. It's pointless moaning about it on MN, you need to talk about your frustrations with your DH when he's better,

What do you expect him to do? Get out of bed and help you while he's ill? My husband has been ill in bed before and you just have to get on with things he can't help being ill and I'd rather he be in bed recovering from his illness than being downstairs and potentially spreading whatever it is to me and the children, I'm in the same boat where when I'm ill I have to get on with things because my husband is at work and cant leave because I'm not feeling well he just helps when he's at home if I'm feeling really terrible

I thought this was gonna be a thread about assisted dying 🤔