To want to kill unwell DH?

[meltingsnowwomen]

He’s been in bed since Tuesday morning. So I’ve had to do everything.

The thing is he normally is away Tuesday to Thursday night anyway. So no difference.

But having him here and doing nothing is ten times worse than not here at all.

I am sure I am BU.

Those were essentials to me.

My husband has been that level unwell, I've looked after him recovering from major surgery and when he had a terrible episide of Labyrinthitis and he couldn't move his head without vomiting, I cared for him and did everything. Those are different as we had medically confirmed reasons for those symptoms, and we knew the trearment plan/recovery timeline. If you are so unwell with the cold or a flu or any other mystery illness that you can't get out of bed, can't do anything for yourself or the family, you should be getting medically assessed, as if it's that bad, it could be sepsis/pneumonia

If you are calling 111 you are seeking medical assistance, which is what I said, that if your feeling so incapacitated you physically can't do anything for yourself or others you should be seeking help. Which is a completely different scenario to feeling unwell, wanting to rest and take it easy, therefore deflecting 100% of life responsibilities onto the partner. Only in very serious situations is that justified.

Yes, because I don't have another adult in the house. You said that if your DH is so unwell he cannot do basic tasks (walk the dog, go grocery shopping) then he should seek medical attention.

It would be terrible if you came down with it just as Christmas day washing up needs to be done, only to wake up the next day and realise it's a false alarm ...

if you are so unwell with the cold or a flu or any other mystery illness that you can't get out of bed, can't do anything for yourself or the family, you should be getting medically assessed, as if it's that bad, it could be sepsis/pneumonia

I said upthread that (though I have thankfully never had flu) I understood that you could just about make it to the loo and have small sips of drink.
Doing that is very different to caring for young children on your own.
I guess after a week of being in bed myself I'd call the GP, but if I had children to care for I'd have to sort something out.

I do not regard going out food shopping or walking the dog as essential tasks when I need to be getting well in bed.

Not just men to be fair, I've not once taken a day off to look after my DH 😂

I had to take this week off work - 1st time in 15 years l have had a sick day - felt dreadful and still not well.

Not exactly. I said me and my husband were both unwell at the same time. I said this time, I was fine with him taking the extra rest and rotting in bed for a week, but when our child arrives, if we are in a simular situation, you have to force yourself to do the bare minimum of functioning as a parent / home owner and it can't fall on me. If you are so incapacitated that that isn't an option, and you can't get out of bed without keeling over, then you should be seeking medical attention. Ill accept walking a dog and shopping isn't the essentials, but that wasnt all the list entailed. By bare minimum I mean just making sure life ticks over, it is only very rare circumstances you can completely exempt yourself from that and justifiably put all that responsibility on someone else.

no men cough once and say they have flu.woman just get on with it

I'm so sorry x

Welll exactly.

Wanted to delete this as I felt it a bit flippant after reading other messages but I couldn't?

My ex husband would stay in bed with man flu and have me running around like an idiot then he'd get up and go to the pub !!! No more of that!!!

I voted YANBU because this used to drive me insane.
Ex husband had a bit of a cold, he’d make such a big deal about it, and not get up in the morning, expecting me to tiptoe around, not waking him up. His mother would come round with sympathy and ‘supplies’. Maybe because I’d totally run out of it 🤣🤣🤣
When I was ill, I still had to get up early and sort the kids for school, cook the meals, etc etc. Whilst he still hit the snooze button and sauntered in to work when he felt like it.

Recent ex partner quickly showed signs of ‘pathetic man flu’. It didn’t last long. Sorry, not putting up with that shit again.

Yeap 10times worse 🤣🤣🫣

How on earth is that possible? They wings for « mommy attention » and it probably works too much 🤯😵‍💫

Give him loaaaaads of sleepy syrup lol

Good luck op🌺!

Would you expect him to do the same if the positions were reversed. How does anyone on here know what’s wrong with this man.

Mine is currently coughing all over the place and describing every symptom he has, which I can actually see AND hear! Can't lay down, can't sit up, doing a lot of mooching around, making strange deep groaning noises, coupled with blowing noises. I think murder is the only way now really. He's broken up from work til the 5th January, I can't see him lasting long... 🙄

I have flu at the moment (actual positive flu test diagnosed not just me saying I have the flu) and it's rough, it's also EVERYWHERE right now. I can just about function - have done some school runs, shopping, cooked meals etc but my DH is doing the brunt of the work to be fair to give me time to rest and recover. I'd do the same for him.

Well, if you can tick off all of these, he needs to be out of bed:

The Dressing Gown of Doom
The Slippers of Sadness
The Smelly Socks of Sorrow
The Grey Underpants of Unhappiness

And

The Crumpled Tissues of Torment

My DH is ill in bed alot, he has a genuine illness (although as yet undiagnosed but thats a different thread) and I don't doubt he does feel awful. I still feel the same as you sometimes so YANBU.
It's so hard to keep going and I'm often afraid I will just keel over.

I get it OP. But you also have the luxury of working part-time.
Take your wins where you can.

People might take a day off to look after a partner, but we all know that's not the norm.

They don't, unless you happen to have one who's a selfish arsehole. And presumably this selfishness isn't actually only limited to when they are ill. Why do so many women put up with this shit?

I feel your pain. My DP has been ill with something or other for months now and I’d the dog is poorly to it also apparently means he can’t do anything around the house. Thankfully he does work but as soon as he’s home, that’s it and what I do is unnoticed and of course Christmas just happens by itself! Grrr

Everyone in my team does this and I certainly expected it from my dh when I was on mat leave.

But if you don’t test what is your evidence for when a bunch of people say YOU DONT HAVE THE FLU. The flu obviously varies in severity. It is often quite severe to the point where you don’t get out of bed but it seems really obvious that it’s not always that bad? Like no shit Sherlock obvious?