DH has brought a kitten home, I’m so upset 🙁

[Queenofheart]

All my life, I’ve never been a fan of cats.

Ever since we’ve been together, my DH has mithered for Cats, finally wore me down and a few months later we had two tiny kittens. They are indoor cats.

We’ve had them two years and I love them. The female follows me around everywhere, the minute I sit down or go to bed, she snuggles up to me, she’s never far from me. The male is very much like that with my SS. All good.

My DH has been mithering about getting another one, he’s on all these bloody Facebook websites and constantly showing me pictures and I am constantly saying no no no, so is my SS … I don’t want my two to be or feel pushed out.

Well, last night I got home and he’s brought a new kitten home. I’m absolutely devastated. Don’t get me wrong she’s absolutely beautiful, but my poor two cats have not been near me. They seem scared, run away, even though she is tiny, they are hissing. I picked up the female to cuddle her and she growled at my DH when he tried to stroke her , never in two years have I heard her do that? I’m absolutely gutted.

I’ve been really upset this morning and told my DH that it’s unacceptable what he’s done. He’s ruined the run-up to Christmas for me because I’m now upset for my two cats, who are hiding away, dramatic I know , but I’m really really pissed off with him. I now have to go to work and leave the three of them together in the house 😒

Has anybody been through this? Does it get better? 🙁

They are also gorgeous - I’m hoping all three will be firm friends very soon and best of luck with bonding x

Ah thank you ... I'll hopefully update you all with a picture of the three of them snuggled together over christmas 😍

My daughter brought home two kittens and the older cat left home, hasn't been seen since and that was 3 years ago!

Hi OP - no advice regarding the bonding etc (see my user name :)), but couldn't pass by without saying your two adult cats look gorgeous and are you sure the kitten is a kitten? With those ears, I'm sure she could be a bat! 😊
I really hope they all settle down together but I'm sure you'll get plenty of volunteers from the Mumsnet community if your DH ever 'disappears' and you suddenly need a new patio laying... 🙄

She is a lovely looking little kitten and your Resident Cats are gorgeous .

I;m guessing because your DH mithered you and you took to the cats (pair) then he showed you pictures of kittens he's blocked out your "No . No Way and Never" because he reckons you'll fall in love when it's a fait acompli

Did he "rescue" this kitten , maybe saw her on Gumtree one of those "last kitten needs a home , lovely little cat" type adverts and in his mind she needed you all.

My DH was very vocal that he wanted another cat (at the time we had guinea-pigs) I was on board but only after the piggies died of old age , we got a cat door and no kittens .
The rest as they say , is history (but only the two- I'm the one looking at Celia Hammond and thinking IAhhh but it wouldn't happen)

such enabling behaviour .... I was reading your TC Threads when I was looking at getting our two cats and having a minor wobble .

five and a half years later ........

They're all lovely. The kitten looks very sassy.

Can I just ask - is mithering having a northern whinge? South East here and to my knowledge have never mithered but it sounds nicer.

My Glaswegian grandparents used to say "Away an dinnae mither yer ma"

Edited , he'd say Ma not mother

Omg she is beautiful. How can anyone not love that little face 😍😻

I have a little catio on the side of my house with a cat flap through and also I can open a window to let mine in and out. It’s a compromise on their freedom but because so many cats get run over etc and my cat is older we made that decision. Whilst we had my friend’s cats living with us this was so good to give them all space. Also highly recommend a calming product that’s natural, called Pet Remedy spray for house. A cat vet recommended it, available in pets at home. Good luck whatever you decide x

OMG she is absolutely gorgeous, I can see why he had her! If you need to rehome your husband, he can lodge with me and bring home all the kittens he wants @Queenofheart 🤣 I'm cat mad but my husband won't let me have another one 🤣 xx

Very fluffy, big ears and paws.
I'm no expert on cats, is it the same breed as the adults or a completely different one??
(Like a big ragdoll cat - or similar).

The kitten looks like a Maine Coon. If so, she’ll be enormous and end up much bigger than the other two.

So I have before tried to scent share between cats because it's all scent & shape with them, they are hissing because they don't know what this thing is. Trying rubbing a towel over the kittens back & body then rubbing this towel on the cats, they will hopefully feel a bit more comfortable with the smell of New kitten. They should initially be given space regularly from kitten, so give kitten somewhere safe to go to play, then cats can go back to 'normal' for a bit. Introduced them slowly,

That looks like a Maine coon kitten, they're giants

And expensive! I thought the same. Maybe a Maine Coon mix but there’s definitely something about them.

As my name suggests, I do like cats and I currently have 5. I've done lots of introductions.
The kitten needs its own room in which to settle and explore, with plenty of food, water, toys, and human interaction, and its own litter tray. In time you can gradually introduce the kitten to the resident cats by swapping scents (like blankets), toys, play areas and eventually letting them meet, supervised at first. Most cats will hate or be scared of new arrivals, however tiny, and girls seem to be particularly difficult to introduce. Some cats will never be friends; they either go into parallel universe, where they share the same space but act like the other doesn't exist (ignoring and the odd hiss), or in worse case they cannot get along at all and have to be separated. I've never had the last scenario happen, but I've had a lot of parallel universe situations.

As for bringing home a new kitten on its own without agreement from the family, that's extremely irresponsible, but in your husbands defence, if the resident cats prefer you and the child, he probably wanted a 'cat of his own'. Kittens need a lot of attention.

Edit: OMG she is a gorgeous maine coon. Speak to your vet about neutering, even if the other two are neutered, they cry when they are on heat and become experts at escaping and getting pregnant.

My husband did the something similar but with a puppy. I have 3 cats. Iv always had cats I don’t do dogs. I’m autistic/ adhd and struggle big time with dogs. Then 6 month ago after telling the kids there whole lives no to dogs. He brings a puppy home. I was like what the hell was he thinking. So we now have this pain in the ass dog that I really don’t like or want. I don’t have the patience for it. But there is no telling my husband on how much this has really upset me. I’m not happy, my cats are not happy. But him and my daughter are over the bloody moon.

New kitten looks like a pure bred Maine Coone. Did he say where he got this kitten? There’s generally a waiting list and they cost a fortune (over £1000 last time I was looking a few years ago)

I'm guessing he's probably peeved that neither of the 2 original cats follow him around!

That's really shit behaviour on his part, and in my opinion shows he doesn't respect your feelings in the relationship. You already compromised with 2 cats (I know you love them but you originally didn't want any). Not only is this disrespecting you, but it's also putting more work onto you. Even if he claims he will 100% take on all the work for the cat, at some point it will be you taking the cat to the vet, feeding the cat, spending money on the cat, at least some of the time. So he's not only totally bypassed your wishes, he's given you more labour to do.

Rehome the kitten. I have two lovely cats and I wouldn't want anything to disturb their lives.

Make sure he does all the cat litter.