DH has brought a kitten home, I’m so upset 🙁

[Queenofheart]

All my life, I’ve never been a fan of cats.

Ever since we’ve been together, my DH has mithered for Cats, finally wore me down and a few months later we had two tiny kittens. They are indoor cats.

We’ve had them two years and I love them. The female follows me around everywhere, the minute I sit down or go to bed, she snuggles up to me, she’s never far from me. The male is very much like that with my SS. All good.

My DH has been mithering about getting another one, he’s on all these bloody Facebook websites and constantly showing me pictures and I am constantly saying no no no, so is my SS … I don’t want my two to be or feel pushed out.

Well, last night I got home and he’s brought a new kitten home. I’m absolutely devastated. Don’t get me wrong she’s absolutely beautiful, but my poor two cats have not been near me. They seem scared, run away, even though she is tiny, they are hissing. I picked up the female to cuddle her and she growled at my DH when he tried to stroke her , never in two years have I heard her do that? I’m absolutely gutted.

I’ve been really upset this morning and told my DH that it’s unacceptable what he’s done. He’s ruined the run-up to Christmas for me because I’m now upset for my two cats, who are hiding away, dramatic I know , but I’m really really pissed off with him. I now have to go to work and leave the three of them together in the house 😒

Has anybody been through this? Does it get better? 🙁

It will get better but really they need to be introduced carefully and not the same day the kitten arrives.

DH had 4 cats when we met and we later ended up with a kitten. The older 4 hated it at first but one by one they accepted him and now, 10 years later, they’re all happy together.

I'll not comment on your husband's behaviour, but cats usually settle down together. I've had a few over the years. Our current 3 - the eldest is 18, we got her when she was 2, then a year later we got a kitten. Lots of hissing at first, but she learnt to tolerate her. 8 years later, DD brought a kitten home (she did ask but we were railroaded into it). Eldest cat tolerates the other two but still hisses if they get close. Middle cat loves eldest cat, but hisses at the youngest. Youngest cat loves both of the other two but HATES any other cat! Funny creatures.

Thank you, we do let them out in the garden in nicer weather, on a long lead though so they can’t get out.

Oh noooo 😢

It’s a Maine coone mix the others are bengals Maine coon mix 😍

Op I must say I'm jealous. I've always wanted a Maine Coone. My sister in law has one and he's a magnificent beast. We have 4 cats so no room for anymore. X

It’s really irresponsible to spring a pet on someone who didn’t want one. Actually makes me really angry. Lots of dogs and cats get re homed due to these sorts of idiotic impulsive purchases. I wouldn’t keep it - it deserves a home where it’s wanted and he needs to be the one to sort that out. Selfish fool.

He decided on the first two cats! Plus they are expensive. Basic vet plan, cat litter and food for my two is £200 a month. Had to cancel the insurance once they got older as it went up to more than £160 EACH a month.

Sorry but I also think that keeping live animals indoors is unforgiveable and totally unnecessary.🙄I can appreciate that you live near a busy road but cats are not stupid, in fact quite the opposite, and even though some do come off worst after an argument with a vehicle most avoid roads altogether especially if they have a garden of their own and adjoining ones where they can roam...I think there is nothing sadder than seeing an 'indoor' cat sitting in a window looking out probably wondering (in a cat way) why they can't go outside as they are meant to be able to do! 😥

How interesting!🙄So your saying that being kind and caring to animals in allowing them to roam OUTSIDE as they're meant and entitled to do is 'old fashioned'? SERIOUSLY?! Do you know how selfish and shallow that makes you sound? 😡

‘Selfish and shallow’ .
Your comment is laughable if you knew me.
I have been in rescue all my life. I spend my life rescuing the damaged ones that no one else will have. The ones with CH who can’t walk, the ones left behind to starve to death by selfish owners, the ones with behavourial issues, the palliative care ones abandoned by their owners who don’t want to pay for their medical care, the ones left to starve to left in barns who take three years to help get over the trauma.
My vet rings me regularly and asks me to take on new cats needing help.
I work with small local rescues helping people get their squished dead cats back after they are killed on the roads or ripped to death by animals.
So no I am not selfish or shallow.
My cats get everything they need and more and they are warm, safe and content.

I suspect our cats were involved in a similar battle with their feline next-door-neighbours, the grass is in tatters. it’s not at all funny for the poor cats but am laughing aloud at the wording of this, brilliant description

Beautiful cats and kitten is absolutely adorable however, you can't just bung in a newbie and expect it to be all hearts and flowers. I assume husband is doing all the work in ensuring cats are introduced appropriately, cleaning up, paying for additional food / vet bills etc. [dripping vitriol mixed with heavy sarcasm]?!!! Two cats are hard work - they need attention; stick another one in the mix and?!!! Sorry if I've missed how he managed to obtain a kitten just before Christmas; no way a reputable cat charity would endorse and re-home and only unethical (not sure if there is such a thing as 'ethical') breeders would sell at this time of year. There's tons of good advice on the Litter Tray forum. Please ignore Posters who say cats need to be outdoors. You're already comfortable with harness training and that's the way to continue unless you can build a Catio or catproof your garden. Most of the posts on the Litter Tray forum re death of beloved cats are to do with road accidents - with some drivers intentionally revving up to kill.

P.s plug in some Feliway.
P.p.s chuck husband "Fellaway".

I agree he’s a selfish fool, though there’s no way she will get rehomed to anywhere if we can make this work, yes I was angry, no, I won’t just let her get dumped, she is already wanted here, and he is doing everything to try and make it work with our two, however, if all else fails with our other two then she will go to a member of our family, who’ve met her and love her

Oh god that’s even worse I’m sorry for you. Bloody men🫣

I agree totally shit behaviour yes, however since we got the first two he does most of the work, vets, though I do like going, pays their insurance, cleans their litter trays and buys all their food and litter as it is costly. I feed them though I enjoy this. So, I have no doubt he’ll be the same with this new one

Omg that’s a fortune. I’ll give him his due, He pays for everything, as yes it was his decision to get them.

I don’t think you’ve read the whole thread ☺️ our cats go out in the garden, but we have them on long leads on a pole, so they can’t wonder all around, sit and watch the birds, without the danger of the roads. So luckily they don’t pine to go out , as they can. Also luckily we live in a big house, so they have lots of room to roam, play and get time away from each other

I don’t mind people have their own opinions about it being mean to not let them out, like I say, we let them in our garden and they have lots of room indoors, rather that than let them near the roads!

yes DH is doing all the financials and the work trying to integrate them.

He’s gone about this the wrong way in every way possible.

Obviously by going against the wishes of you and DS, but he needed to do proper introductions between the resident cats and the new kitten. This takes weeks or even longer. You need to put the new kitten in a closed room by itself and let the older cats sniff under the door. Swap over various items like blankets and cushions with each others scent on.

Hmmm, I’ve had two cats run over and killed so I’d disagree.

my current cats are indoor cats. They don’t seem sad to me 🤷‍♀️. They have free access to a large and expensive catio. One of them never goes in it. The other one goes outside into the catio maybe twice a month . So i hardly think they’re desperate to be outside. 😁. They were both quite expensive so the risk of being stolen is also high.

OP, cat introductions are meant to be done very slowly. Ie keep the kitten shut in a different room for days/weeks so the others get used to the smell.

Perhaps DH can buy the feliway by way of a peace offering? Not cheap but might calm them?

God I hope it's him cleaning out all three litter boxes and not you, since you had no input in the decision??!

She is adorable!

Your other cats will get used to her - the hissing and growling is normal. He really shouldn’t have done that and the kitten seller is despicable for homing a kitten at Christmas!