DH has brought a kitten home, I’m so upset 🙁

[Queenofheart]

All my life, I’ve never been a fan of cats.

Ever since we’ve been together, my DH has mithered for Cats, finally wore me down and a few months later we had two tiny kittens. They are indoor cats.

We’ve had them two years and I love them. The female follows me around everywhere, the minute I sit down or go to bed, she snuggles up to me, she’s never far from me. The male is very much like that with my SS. All good.

My DH has been mithering about getting another one, he’s on all these bloody Facebook websites and constantly showing me pictures and I am constantly saying no no no, so is my SS … I don’t want my two to be or feel pushed out.

Well, last night I got home and he’s brought a new kitten home. I’m absolutely devastated. Don’t get me wrong she’s absolutely beautiful, but my poor two cats have not been near me. They seem scared, run away, even though she is tiny, they are hissing. I picked up the female to cuddle her and she growled at my DH when he tried to stroke her , never in two years have I heard her do that? I’m absolutely gutted.

I’ve been really upset this morning and told my DH that it’s unacceptable what he’s done. He’s ruined the run-up to Christmas for me because I’m now upset for my two cats, who are hiding away, dramatic I know , but I’m really really pissed off with him. I now have to go to work and leave the three of them together in the house 😒

Has anybody been through this? Does it get better? 🙁

www.cats.org.uk/help-and-advice/cats-and-your-family/other-cats

You said no. It should be a joint decision. How many is he going to stop at?

I’d say if the kitten’s still in the house when you get home from work, you’ll be approaching a solicitor for a divorce. This isn’t really about the kitten, it’s about his total and complete lack of respect for your wishes.

Unacceptable and totally unreasonable to go against your wishes. Does he do this in other aspects of your life? You need to have a discussion with him about this issue.

Turning to the cats, things should get better. I’m a mad cat lady with 4 and have introduced new ones over the years generally successfully. The only time it didn’t work was when we took in a stray that bullied our existing cat but that shouldn’t happen here. It’s not very fair on the new kitten though, it will be very traumatising for it, and your DH needs to bear this in mind and never do this again.

I think you need to think strategically and take action quickly.
After Christmas the rescue centres quickly fill up with abandoned DHs, any chance you can get him out this week. Give him a head start to find his forever family.

Rehome the bastard?

Just get him to take it back! Don’t be bullied into accepting his actions. Or else where does this stop?

Do you mean the one where the stupid bloke brought a kitten home & then ignored him? I hope that OP’s thrown him out by now.

Actually just read they’re indoor cats, this could be more problematic, there’s no way of getting away from each other. You need to separate them for a while and introduce them gradually. It is too many really unless you live in a massive house.

Your DH is a twat. Rehome the kitten and him with it.

Outrageous to make a unilateral decision about something like that when you live together. I’m sorry but he sounds like he doesn’t respect you.

It’s quite common. Kittens can be very confident and freak out older cats. We’ve had two sets of kittens in recent years. One pair hid under the sofa in a separate room for two days while older cats sat staring in through the window sitting on the sill. Another pair arrived, jointly barged their way out of the room at the first opportunity, and ran straight up to the adult cat with tail aloft - cue fleeing older cat.

Hahahahaha

Why are they all indoor?

Why wasn't two enough? He's a right ignorant wanker doing that.

Brace yourself, because soon three won't be enough. And then four.

Anyway, a new pet should always be a joint decision. Kittens shouldn’t be left alone - you need to plan them so you’ll have time to be at home with them for a sustained period. At the very least as others have said you need the kitten in a separate space with food and litter and let the older cats calm down.

As, with flea/worm treatments, vet check, vaccinations, food, occasional sitter and pet insurance, a well cared for cat now Costa about £120pcm, I hope he's paying.

Agree, except for me and DP there's not even any kids and we may or may not even bother with a roast!
People do seem to think everyone has an 'Oooh I'm so busy' stressy Christmas.

My 2 cats were very pissed off when we got an alsation puppy but we're fine after about a week

OP already has 2 cats she loves, so your pointless "I'm so cool because I hate cats" was unnecessary.

No idea why people who hate children or cats are so quick to announce it, like it makes them superior or something.

I absolutely adore having cats and after losing our last two, he realised I couldn't be without cats so let me have two more. I totally accept it's me that's into them, but at the same time I'd never go and get another because I know he wouldn't want it. Also, I'm a strong believer, you don't upset the dynamics of what you've got.

It's worthing looking into slowly introducing the kitten to your cats. It needs to be kept in a room separate from them (obviously with plenty of attention and playing with yourselves) and then scents slowly exchanged - ie place a towel/rags placed near kitten's bed for a couple of days, then leave them around the house so your cats get used to the scent, before any introduction.

Why is that any of your business and what’s it got to do with what the OP is asking?

And yes, PP, any animal that’s available this time of year is a bad idea because it encourages people to breed for the Christmas market. No breeder worth their salt will let animals go before Christmas.

So you had two cats who are quite happy and presumably bonded with each other now and he decides he wants a cute kitten?

He's not a cat lover. He just likes the idea of a tiny kitten. Selfish twat to you and your cats and that poor kitten.

Yes the cats may eventually be fine, get some pet remedy plug ins and spray and see how they go. Make sure theres extra food and water bowls and litter trays to reduce conflict. Make sure your "cat lover" spouse is the one cleaning them all.

And start deciding on contact arrangements for the cats for when you kick him out.

all adult and only one at home full time

@Queenofheart I'm guessing your husband was jealous as one cat took to you and the other to your SS, so he thought he'd buy a third and it would be his companion. Buying a new kitten and bringing it home without consultation is unacceptable though, also there are ways to do introductions when bringing a new animal home and your husband has clearly done none of that. I hope your cats adjust quickly.

After a while you begin to notice this and think you are going mad until you go search😂

I have two cats, I've wanted another as a 'friend' for the big cat as the small cat hates him and he just wants to cuddle however, my partner is against it and doesn't want one... so I've never got another one. A family pet is just that and you all have to want it to be there or it's just an inconvenience sadly. I'm sure you'll all warm up to the kitten in time but it's really shitty that he did that.