DH has brought a kitten home, I’m so upset 🙁

[Queenofheart]

All my life, I’ve never been a fan of cats.

Ever since we’ve been together, my DH has mithered for Cats, finally wore me down and a few months later we had two tiny kittens. They are indoor cats.

We’ve had them two years and I love them. The female follows me around everywhere, the minute I sit down or go to bed, she snuggles up to me, she’s never far from me. The male is very much like that with my SS. All good.

My DH has been mithering about getting another one, he’s on all these bloody Facebook websites and constantly showing me pictures and I am constantly saying no no no, so is my SS … I don’t want my two to be or feel pushed out.

Well, last night I got home and he’s brought a new kitten home. I’m absolutely devastated. Don’t get me wrong she’s absolutely beautiful, but my poor two cats have not been near me. They seem scared, run away, even though she is tiny, they are hissing. I picked up the female to cuddle her and she growled at my DH when he tried to stroke her , never in two years have I heard her do that? I’m absolutely gutted.

I’ve been really upset this morning and told my DH that it’s unacceptable what he’s done. He’s ruined the run-up to Christmas for me because I’m now upset for my two cats, who are hiding away, dramatic I know , but I’m really really pissed off with him. I now have to go to work and leave the three of them together in the house 😒

Has anybody been through this? Does it get better? 🙁

I want it. Give it to me.

The amount of missing and dead cat on road social media posts I see in our area is frightening - much worse post covid. Our cat has special fence in the garden now to stop the roaming after we buried 2 of our cats in the garden that were killed on the road.

We also had a cat stuck in somebody’s garage for 2 weeks that miraculously survived - just.
We don’t live in a main road and there are gardens and fields around.
I get it - but couldn’t go through the heartache again and my attitude to people having indoor cats has changed - so long as there is space and enrichment for them.

He has no respect for your existing cats.

Gorgeous kitten, and the OP is clearly falling for her - that's the good news.

What worries me is

1. the message this gives to the male of the household is that he can do whatever the h*ll he likes - there will be a flurry of protest but then he'll get away with it
2. the message this gives to children in the household - the women are the sensible, thinking ones and the men can do as they please and make decisions based on nothing but their own self-indulgent and selfish whims

they are all beautiful

not too late to give them a break from each other by finding a quiet room he can stay in for some of the time.

Oh, it does look a bit different!
A keeper then, I presume.
😁

I've just seen my 15 year old girl wrestling with the kitten my DS brought home 3 years ago. It is hilarious.
She absolutely hated the kitten when she arrived.

I don't clear the boxes out, I would if he was away for instance, but no, he wanted cats, he does it all :)

hi, thanks for the note, yes I am falling for her, but not showing DH that yet.

He is still in my bad books and knows it, I am still very angry about the fact he thought it was ok to make that decision without me. I have told him in no uncertain terms that this kind of thing (making huge decisions without me) never happens again as I will see it as deceitful and will not be able to move on from it again.

Yes I have read most of the thread including where you said about them going into the garden on a sunny day on a lead tied to a pole 🙄 You're still curtailing their freedom most of the time which goes against their natural instincts and personally I have always found the concept of 'indoor cats' abhorrent, cruel and selfish.

I beg to differ, better that than having them splattered all over a fast main road!

Not sure what's abhorrent cruel and selfish ... they have a lovely life, we have lots of rooms for them to roam around and a large garden that they can run around in ... they have been this way since being born so know no different

I've always had two cats, and whenever I lost one I got another rescue cat. So always one on one - and I always alternated gender so got a girl when I had a single male etc.

It hasn't been a problem for 40 years - they soon got used to each other. Our latest was very nervous so did spend a couple of weeks in the spare room just to get used to us - but I've never tiptoed around mixing cats. BUT - ours have a catflap and can go out - as a PP said it maybe different for indoor cats?

But mostly I think they all do soon adapt - stick it out for a few weeks. They will hiss and be a bit miffed at first - that's normal. Good luck!

But your DH is totally out of order.......

FIV cats can’t go outside.
Cats in built up areas can’t safely go outside.
Cats who live near big roads can’t safely go outside.
What should we do with the cats in these situations? The choice is stark: they live indoors or they are put down.

He shouldn’t have gone ahead without your agreement, but the cats will come round and settle fairly quickly. My suggestion would be that you try and do the same. Extra cats is extra love in your home.

He obviously knows nothing about cats. The new kitten should have been kept away from your resident cats and slowly introduced.

Plus one for Jackson Galaxy or The Cat daddy about integrating cats together.

Poor things they are territorial and inside cats have such small territories anyway. It's so ridiculous he spent all that time researching getting a cat but not how to integrate them together!!! Madness. Selfish.

You have a massive husband problem. I'd say no to the week, it's not fair all round.

That's awful! I don't deal with dogs either, I'm bloody scared of the things. Could you secretly rehome it? It's not fair on you or your cats.

'secretly rehome it?'

What on earth is wrong with you?

I think now that the kitten has been there a week or so that the OP has got to like her and the Resident Cats will have got used to her .
So the DH intended for the kitten to be absorbed and assimilated into the family like the first two cats that he nagged for and the OP accepted with major reservations .

Hopefully this little girl has got her Home For Life , it isn't the kittens fault that her new owner (the DH) was so irresponsible .
But any more feline additions , I hope he'd think long and hard before even opening his mouth to suggest them .