Pissed off at sister's snobby comment

[Ontherocksthisyear]

This happened a couple weeks ago, but it has really annoyed me the more I think about it. I haven't come out and said its annoyed me, but I wish I had at the time. It's also not the first comment like this she has made.

Anyway, I have just finished a masters. Not that it maybe matters but I did this while being a mum to my DD, being pregnant with my DS (I had terrible nausea all throughout my pregnancy). This master also included placements, so it wasn't just a case of sitting at home writing essays. So I was massively proud of myself and hugely relieved when I finally finished and got my degree.

Anyway, I was out for my birthday lunch with my family and told my sister that I had finished and passed my course, she congratulated me. We were then discussing which uni her son was thinking of going to, I mentioned the one I had just got my degree from (not the best uni in the world granted, but not bad either). Bare in mind my nephew wants to stay fairly local because of health issues, so it's either the one in his city, or the one I mentioned (neighbouring city), or another uni in a neighbouring city.

When i mentioned this my sister screwed up her face and said pretty bluntly 'it's not a very good uni is it', I then said 'well it depends on what you study, it is great for certain sciences and the programme i was on is one of the best in country' she then screwed up her face again as if she thought I was talking a load of shit and reiterated how it wasn't a good uni.

Anyway, I am quite annoyed. I understand she wants the best for her son... but she knows I have literally just got a degree from here. I mean, I literally just told her and she congratulated me. Is this rude of her?

As PPs have said it completely depends on the course - even the lesser Unis can excel in certain areas - and more to the point what the holder of the qualification's hoping to do with it

It's true that a number of Unis are so bad that some choosier employers regard one of their degrees as no degree at all, but hopefully yours isn't one of those?

It's odd, because grades from A-level and GCSE aren't exactly a grand show of adult intelligence. Lots of children struggle with exams at that age; it has no bearing on future "brightness". It's also highly possible that some parents could afford tutors or were academic themselves.

And history and English don't necessarily mean said students wish to go directly into that field. There are a plethora of jobs that can be done with those degrees.

Very rude. Congratulations on your degree 🍾 🥂

Definitely agree. My ex Poly was way better than Oxford, in my opinion. I didn't like that at all; the standard of lecturing was very poor in comparison, office hours non existent, and contacting a supervisor like pulling teeth!

Not in some cases. However, generally those who do well at school tend to be more academic than those who do not. I’m speaking of my own experience teaching thousands of students at both types of institution and comparing them. History and English are probably two of the subjects that are the most Oxbridge/RG dominated in terms of doing a PhD and getting a job in academia.

Rude AF. I remember my sister saying my degree was a Mickey Mouse degree. Then I got into Oxbridge & she stopped talking to me.

Your experience is obvious quite niche! I worked as a (university) tutor myself (quite different, I agree) and found no difference in the students who had done well and who hadn't at that age. All needed the same level of support.

DH's experience is also very different. I see you're in law though. That's rather notorious for those attitudes.

You did extremely well to get a Masters whilst managing a family .... very well done you.

Your sister simply showed she is beneath you.

I wouldn’t say niche really - I think fairly typical actually. As for law and attitudes, it’s not just an attitude - it’s reality. The employers are generally very snobby and absolutely care where your degree is from, what grade you got AND what A level grades you got. So if you want to work as a lawyer, you’d pick Bristol over UWE and Manchester over Manchester Met. Anyone who tells you otherwise isn’t being honest with you.

She's a rude cow.
So unnecessary.

Firstly, huge congrats upon your degree! Great achievement.
Seconly, your sister is just daft and has no idea about employer's attitudes to the uni you attend.
Oxbridge is only important if you want to be a spy or politician
Every other uni has plus and minus points but at thecend of the day, ean employer only wants a degree as evidence you are able to research, study and think critically. If your degree is in a specialised subject, then you know the uni that is big on that.
Tell her to take a long walk off a short cliiff.

Congratulations on your masters .Has she got one ?
No , hmmm thought as much . Jealous much !

May be so! But your experience in law is niche in comparison to many other subjects. It doesn't work like that in other departments. I believe you when you say it's true - but thankfully snobbiness isn't so widely entrenched further afield.

Your sister was rude and hurtful but she was probably being thoughtless, not deliberate.

You have done very well, don't let this spoil things for you. You're a success, enjoy it. Congratulations!

Very rude, unnecessary and no need to say that. I’d tell her you were hurt

Awful thing to have said. Well done, OP.

Your sister probably spends too much time on the HE thread on mumsnet.

I wouldn’t say niche really - I think fairly typical actually. As for law and attitudes, it’s not just an attitude - it’s reality. The employers are generally very snobby and absolutely care where your degree is from, what grade you got AND what A level grades you got. So if you want to work as a lawyer, you’d pick Bristol over UWE and Manchester over Manchester Met. Anyone who tells you otherwise isn’t being honest with you.

Thankfully this approach to graduate recruitment is dying out. It isn't common across all sectors anymore.

Not sure that she's jealous as such but it seems as though she wanted to take the shine off your achievement anyway. She didn't want you to think too well of yourself. Not so much green eyes as sour grapes.
She was rude, yes.

Rude and insensitive. Also naive. Commemts about RG, from my experience only useful if you have the financial family backing to get into the boys clubs and use contacts to get along even if you come out with a shit grade. Other than that, any path can take you where you want to go if you put the graft in.

There's a word for it but my ancient brain can't think of it, but it just sounds like she wants to piss on your chips, because she is resentful of your success.

Well done and ignore her!

I just learned this word the other day and it may well apply here. Freudenschade.
It's the opposite of schadenfreude,ie, feeling pleasure at someone else's misfortune. It's a feeling of sadness or resentment of someone else's joy.

Your sister has Freudenschade.

Perfect!

Oh God. She should get together with my MIL and SIL. According to them, it was a pity the uni I went to wasn't a "proper" one and it was a shame I couldn't have gone 'at the proper time" - whenever that's supposed to be. 🙄

Cheeky bint.