Pissed off at sister's snobby comment

[Ontherocksthisyear]

This happened a couple weeks ago, but it has really annoyed me the more I think about it. I haven't come out and said its annoyed me, but I wish I had at the time. It's also not the first comment like this she has made.

Anyway, I have just finished a masters. Not that it maybe matters but I did this while being a mum to my DD, being pregnant with my DS (I had terrible nausea all throughout my pregnancy). This master also included placements, so it wasn't just a case of sitting at home writing essays. So I was massively proud of myself and hugely relieved when I finally finished and got my degree.

Anyway, I was out for my birthday lunch with my family and told my sister that I had finished and passed my course, she congratulated me. We were then discussing which uni her son was thinking of going to, I mentioned the one I had just got my degree from (not the best uni in the world granted, but not bad either). Bare in mind my nephew wants to stay fairly local because of health issues, so it's either the one in his city, or the one I mentioned (neighbouring city), or another uni in a neighbouring city.

When i mentioned this my sister screwed up her face and said pretty bluntly 'it's not a very good uni is it', I then said 'well it depends on what you study, it is great for certain sciences and the programme i was on is one of the best in country' she then screwed up her face again as if she thought I was talking a load of shit and reiterated how it wasn't a good uni.

Anyway, I am quite annoyed. I understand she wants the best for her son... but she knows I have literally just got a degree from here. I mean, I literally just told her and she congratulated me. Is this rude of her?

Very rude and also completely unnecessary. She could have said ‘Yes Johnny is thinking about it but I think he prefers XYZ (another university)’. Really no need to say anything nasty! I think she is jealous of you, she may not even realise it herself. Congratulations on your degree!

Wrong post

Don't know if it stands today but about 10 years ago those they went to RG unis had less chance of getting a job as employers wanted a more rounded person then just academic people.
So maybe check employment success rate to use as an argument

Well done on your achievements
M

Ridiculous to accuse the DS of jealousy.
Practising lawyers do not need a Masters to qualify, they have their own exams after their degree. Which, I'd venture to guess, are way tougher than an average Masters, and are normally done while working full-time.
She needs not to be jealous of somebody's Masters, she is doing well without it, as far as I understand from the OP's posts. She is allowed to have an opinion about the level of unis (again, rude to say it out loud).

I did my Masters at the local uni too - and absolutely loved it and thought the teaching was excellent, and hope to do a PHD there next - but would also prefer my kids go to somewhere technically more 'prestigious.' That said, picking the right course is more important, and some less 'prestitigious' universities offer much better vocational courses. I think if you want to do something generic like, say, English, though, one of the RG universities would probably give you the best prospects afterwards.

Your sister was incredibly rude and insensitive, but that's sisters for you!!!!

How rude. Shame you didn't say 'are you saying the uni I just went to is rubbish'. Very ignorant too. Try to forget about it now. If you can't make a joke, which isn't a joke, 'oh yeah my Masters from the second rate Uni'. Ha ha. Congrats on your Masters

I do agree to some extent, she doesn't need to be jealous. We have both studied for two completely different fields. Although, knowing my sister, I feel it does come from a place of jealousy. Unfortunately, she does tend to look down on people fairly often.

She's jealous of you

She was just being honest what she thought.
She could have held her tongue better but she did no wrong.

Well done on your masters.

But the idea of 'best' courses is always a bit of a nonsense - it totally depends on what you're valuing - employability, staff research, teaching hours, facilities etc...

It's often the case that a course with a higher academic level is less focussed on developing your employment prospects as it's just not the goal of the course. It's up to you whether you think that's a good thing or a bad thing and different people will feel very differently on it.

I believe she isn't jealous; however, she seems to sense that her status as top dog is being challenged.

I agree with this, I have only ever come across one person who cared and she was stuck up so it said a lot more about her than anything. Who cares what uni you go to?

Well done OP!

Yes, but.. it's different than schools, in that GCSEs and A Levels you get a specific grade. A 1st class degree from Oxford is very very very different to a 1st class from Manchester Met. It's different, and it matters.

It was a put down. And mean. Don't bother with her. Why should you put up with this

Bit rude.

However, I did my BA at a Russell Group then my MA at a (former) poly. It didn't seem so important for the MA.

ETA - meant to say I did my MA one day a week so I also needed to be able to drive there and back!

@KitsyWitsy You won't think much of me. I did an MSc at a very respectable university without an undergrad degree. I got the best marks in my cohort by some distance despite clearly being as thick as shit and having no business being there.

To who? It doesn't make a difference. At risk of repeating myself, it makes zero difference when I'm hiring in publishing. It also makes zero difference in academia, which is my DH's career.

It's honestly all bollocks.

What a deeply unpleasant post.

I got a 2:2 due to pretty unpleasant life circumstances.

The University didn't get my money for my MA as I was deemed decent enough for my employer to pay for it.

It had no bearing on my ability to complete an MA with a high mark. I most certainly wasn't dragging down the others in my group, with my 11 GCSEs and very decent A level results.

Agree with this. Your sister's comments are a shining example of snobbery that I have witnessed several times before. Some people will always probe what degree, where, classification etc. I recall being at work when colleagues were comparing their childrens' A level results and making enquiries to each other.
Congratulations on your amazing achievement OP

It's showing quite the lack of knowledge. Even higher ranking universities will often accept a 2:2 from mature students alongside relevant experience.

THANK YOU!

Even if there is some truth to her statement it doesn’t matter as that is an awfully rude thing to say. Very insensitive. I’d move on anyway as what’s the point of overthinking it and some people are just insensitive like that - it doesn’t take away from your achievement.

Your sister has been taking lessons from Fanny Craddock. Pulling faces and being bitchy worked wonders for her career...Not!

I find it hard to believe it makes zero difference in academia. I work in academia and i can’t think of anyone in my department who has a PhD from a former poly. I can only think of a couple of people who did their undergrad at a former poly too.

Also in professions like law, where you went to uni absolutely matters in terms of job prospects and many firms and chambers will prioritise Oxbridge and RG.

Yeah, its not that she wants or needs a masters, its probably more that you have dared to better yourself and therefore threaten her "top dog" status.

I could imagine she would not be happy if you became Dr OntheRocks!