Pissed off at sister's snobby comment

[Ontherocksthisyear]

This happened a couple weeks ago, but it has really annoyed me the more I think about it. I haven't come out and said its annoyed me, but I wish I had at the time. It's also not the first comment like this she has made.

Anyway, I have just finished a masters. Not that it maybe matters but I did this while being a mum to my DD, being pregnant with my DS (I had terrible nausea all throughout my pregnancy). This master also included placements, so it wasn't just a case of sitting at home writing essays. So I was massively proud of myself and hugely relieved when I finally finished and got my degree.

Anyway, I was out for my birthday lunch with my family and told my sister that I had finished and passed my course, she congratulated me. We were then discussing which uni her son was thinking of going to, I mentioned the one I had just got my degree from (not the best uni in the world granted, but not bad either). Bare in mind my nephew wants to stay fairly local because of health issues, so it's either the one in his city, or the one I mentioned (neighbouring city), or another uni in a neighbouring city.

When i mentioned this my sister screwed up her face and said pretty bluntly 'it's not a very good uni is it', I then said 'well it depends on what you study, it is great for certain sciences and the programme i was on is one of the best in country' she then screwed up her face again as if she thought I was talking a load of shit and reiterated how it wasn't a good uni.

Anyway, I am quite annoyed. I understand she wants the best for her son... but she knows I have literally just got a degree from here. I mean, I literally just told her and she congratulated me. Is this rude of her?

Thank you for saying this about the Russell Group! Students and parents have been fed a ton of nonsense about them being the best for everything. Just another gang with good marketing

Telling your sister that the uni she's just graduated from 'isnt' very good' and then pulling a face when your sister tries to explain her perspective on the issue is nasty, irrespective of whether you are aware that literature at Edinburgh is 'lacklustre' or not.

It's definitely not to be applauded (intentional understatement). I'm just thinking she's been looking at the best of lists on the internet and taken them a bit too literal. I might be wrong, but if this is an odd single incident, I'd chalk it up to her not thinking it through/knowing as much as she thinks she does. If it's a pattern then yeah agree just nasty.

They're really enjoying it! Their first choice was an RG uni (where I went and eldest also graduated from) and I was disappointed but this one has an excellent business school (and it's where I did my MSc).

I was always so frustrated because I knew they had ability and never managed to reach it.

Not saying they'll get a 1st but they're within touching distance and a 2i would be fine!

Your sister was being rude or insensitive, and it would be strange if you didn’t feel hurt/offended by her comments.
If she is condescending to you or others, it’s probably best to protect yourself and avoid conversations of a personal nature.
If you tackle her over this incident is she the type of person who would prefer to ‘defend herself’ rather than apologize? If it’s the former, best to ignore her and recognise that she’s a snob.
Snobs, grade people and tend to suck all the air out of the room.

Rude.
be proud and don’t let her spoil this for you! Continue to say exactly what you think is good and if she says something again, tell her she is misinformed and should look again…and that she is being rude.

A colleague of mine caused great concern when he turned down a place at Cambridge (some decades ago) because when he looked closely at what the course offered, it did not cover the aspects of the subject which really interested him.
His school were rather put out, because an Oxbridge place was a feather in their cap, but he insisted on going to a "lesser" institution which suited him brilliantly.
Your sister's remarks just reveal her rather superficial knowledge of what a university course can offer; I wonder where she graduated from?

I can see why you’d be a bit miffed about it but I wouldn’t assume she’s being deliberately rude, probably just a little insensitive and thoughtless. Unless she has form for this I’d let it go.

Rude and jealous. Just feel proud of your achievement and ignore her petty comments.

When her son gets exam results she may have to eat her words!

Too much store is put into getting a place at "the right university". People from so-called good universities often turn out to be highly qualified arseholes, with a qualification which has no relevance to anything the world needs.

Is it true?

I work in the industry and there’s absolutely differences in standards and the quality of training you get at different places. There’s also different resources and different expectations for the same piece of paper.

These differences affect employment opportunities and access to further study.

Graduates of these courses can still do really well, work very hard, and should be proud of their achievements. But it doesn’t change the reality of how their degrees will be viewed.

What Freud called sibling rivalry and very common. I recall many years ago my brother scoffed when I went into advertising. I just ignored his reaction, ended up doing very well, Don't let anyone piss on your dreams or the dreams of those you love.

You'vejust encountered the lesser spotted Green Monster!

I'd like to think your sister was just having a bit of a joke with you, if in rather bad taste for you.
Don't stress about it, it's the fact you got the degree you worked for that counts.

It wasn't a "minor" university 40 years ago either.

My university is now in the RG but wasn't massively well regarded when I went there. But there were very few universities that did my course, one being KCL and I didn't want to go to London, so I only had about 5 places to put on my (then) UCCA form anyway.

York/Sunderland might excel in computer science but are lacklustre in Literature

Not sure you can put York and Sunderland in the same category and York has an excellent English department. But Sunderland has a fantastic sports journalism degree and a friend of my son's (graduated this year) is now working for Sky, which kind of proves my point about the course being more important than the university in many cases.

She’s jealous.

This was an interesting read for a Saturday night 🤣

I did my undergraduate and my PGCE at Edge Hill in Ormskirk, Lancashire. It was fantastic and I got a teaching job right away. I’m now a SAHM and run an Etsy shop. My husband left school with very few Standard Grades, trained as a chef in the 90s and is now a sales manager for a fuel company earning over £100k a year. No Oxbridge, no regular old uni, no education at all really but he’s so intelligent and knows how to close a sale.

Really, who cares what uni someone went to? We’re all just trying to live a life in a fucked up world.

Congratulations on your Masters. You’ve worked hard and for your sister to try and rip some of that pride away is disgraceful.

@Kazzybingbong the reason you claim to not care what uni someone went to is because you're more interested in earnings as a mark of achievement. At heart, it's just the same shit really.

I just wanted to say, @Ontherocksthisyear , that I am in awe of you getting your Masters in the circumstances you did. You rock. And also just wanted to say that your sister is jealous as feck, and insecure. Ignore her as best you can. She thinks she’s top dog…but knows she isn’t, really.

It's rude. You've put her nose out of joint by getting your masters. People are strange, but she's still your sister. Be the better person and rise above the silly bitching, it's not worth getting letting it get to you. You've done brilliantly. In the end, it's not the qualification that matters, it's what you do with it.