Pissed off at sister's snobby comment

[Ontherocksthisyear]

This happened a couple weeks ago, but it has really annoyed me the more I think about it. I haven't come out and said its annoyed me, but I wish I had at the time. It's also not the first comment like this she has made.

Anyway, I have just finished a masters. Not that it maybe matters but I did this while being a mum to my DD, being pregnant with my DS (I had terrible nausea all throughout my pregnancy). This master also included placements, so it wasn't just a case of sitting at home writing essays. So I was massively proud of myself and hugely relieved when I finally finished and got my degree.

Anyway, I was out for my birthday lunch with my family and told my sister that I had finished and passed my course, she congratulated me. We were then discussing which uni her son was thinking of going to, I mentioned the one I had just got my degree from (not the best uni in the world granted, but not bad either). Bare in mind my nephew wants to stay fairly local because of health issues, so it's either the one in his city, or the one I mentioned (neighbouring city), or another uni in a neighbouring city.

When i mentioned this my sister screwed up her face and said pretty bluntly 'it's not a very good uni is it', I then said 'well it depends on what you study, it is great for certain sciences and the programme i was on is one of the best in country' she then screwed up her face again as if she thought I was talking a load of shit and reiterated how it wasn't a good uni.

Anyway, I am quite annoyed. I understand she wants the best for her son... but she knows I have literally just got a degree from here. I mean, I literally just told her and she congratulated me. Is this rude of her?

She's jealous. Does she have a masters?

The snobbery around universities is ridiculous. As is your sister.

Congratulations on your brilliant achievement!

Uni snobbery is very much a thing. Look at the higher education board

Lot of triggered and defensive people here!

No, I don't think anyone who got a 2.2 has any business doing an MSc. They are a nuisance. It's just to get their money.

What's wrong with aiming high and trying to excel?

I'm a senior manager in a very well known publishing company. My best worker got a 2.2 at undergrad. She is brilliant. I don't know what I'd do without her.

That's what business people who got a 2.2 have doing postgraduate courses.

Not all unis are equal.

I think it's a bit though less of her but maybe she thinks it's not as important for a masters as for an UG. I would understand that.

Feel your pain, my sister regularly says that I went to a ‘Mickey mouse university’. She was the star student who went to Oxford. She is however lacking a bit in other life skills so I mostly laugh it off.

Congratulations on your achievement, don’t let sis take the shine off of it.

Just ignore her, I can't be bothered with university snobbery,

She was extremely rude.

First off, congratulations on completing your masters. Well done!

yes, she’s been rude. I’d just roll my eyes and move on if I were you. What’s to be gained now after a couple of weeks.

That makes me laugh. I got a 2:2 but I was seriously ill between my 2nd and 3rd year. They didn't expect me to live but not only did I live but I finished my degree too. Oh and then I went on and got a MSc too in a completely different subject. And I've just been referred for nd screening. So had plenty of struggles but still got there.

OP, it was rude of her, of course it was.If it's still bothering you, though, and it is, why not calmly talk to her about it? Tell her that, whether you agree on the quality of the uni/courses or not, you were hurt by her thoughtlessness. It's how she responds to that conversation which counts. A sincere apology and chat, ok. A dismissive deflection of responsibility... she's a dick.

Exactly.

The previous Head of Department at my husband's old workplace (university) is a very well known and prominent professor in her field. She got a 2.2! It's genuinely only snobs like the pp who care. The lecturers don't, the normal students don't, and future employers also don't as long as you show skills.

I'd employ someone with a 2.2 with good skills, experience, and a decent personality, than a stuck up snob with a first any day.

And well done! Uni with ND is bloody hard work. I'm glad it's getting more inclusive these days.

Russell Group is not aiming high. Russell Group is just a self-selected association. It's a giant marketing scam that everybody has bought into.

Sounds like she's jealous and has to put you down to feel better. Whattabiach!

Is your sister always undermining in this way OP? She was rude and unnecessarily crass.

Your achievement in completing the course with a young child and whilst pregnant is huge, and certainly not everyone would be up to it - you should be very proud of yourself!

Urgh, she sounds just like my SIL 🙄
It’s just jealousy OP, ignore it.
Congrats on your masters 👏

So rude. Whatever she thinks there was no reason to say that to you.

Congratulations! 👩‍🎓

Rude rude rude

She's not saying she's slumming it; she's pointing to a qualitative difference in the degree experience.. Ideally, one advantage of a selective postgraduate degree course is that things like seminars and group work are much much more stimulating and productive because everybody in the room is well prepared, intellectually invested, has deep background in the field, etc. The instructor doesn't have to waste time bringing people up to speed or be greeted with an echoing silence when they throw out a question for discussion.

That is absolutely ridiculous!!

I got a 2ii 40 years ago when 1sts were like hen's teeth and I was too busy partying to work. I'd gone to uni (Russelll group now!) with AABB in my A levels. 5% of 18 year olds went to uni and I needed CCC to get in!! Guess what, I did an MSc at a renowned business school (not RG) and fuck me, I even got a Distinction!!! And I finished in the top three of my year while working FT and had 3 young children.

I'd rather have a 2ii than be a rude and ignorant person.

Yeah, rude. Another example of someone who is incapable of thinking something and not saying it.

As for defensive - I went to one of the best universities in the country (by reputation).

The firm I work for operates blind recruitment, where we don’t even see candidates’ Universities.

@GiddyRobin

I didn't know about the nd whilst at uni, it was tough struggling but it was attributed to my illness.

Did your sister go to Harvard University?
Very rude of her.

It's frustrating that so many of us had it and didn't even know back then. I'm hoping by the time my kids go to uni things are even better for ND students.